Invent Some Bad Movie Dialogue

[Javakoala]

College geek: You see, this whole area seems to be encased in a temporal field that fluctuates as circumstances dictate. It is not unlike being trapped in a stasis envelope that prevents the outside world from influencing those of us trapped in here.

<Long pause>

College stoner: Whoa, wait. You mean we're like my weed when I seal it up in a Ziploc?

College geek: <Sighs> Yes, Boner. Human dope in a cosmic baggie. In a nutshell.

College stoner: How did we get inside a nutshell? I'm confused.

[Francesco Dellamorte]

Drunk Cowboy:Sinners?!?! Whada you know about sinners? Hell, this whole goddamn town's full of em'! And I'm gonna judge em' all by dawn..

[Flangepart]

Prof: If we apply massive amounts of electricity, we may destroy the monster, but it will take all the power the city can generate.

General: Too bad we're in puddlejump, Arkansas. What else ya got?

[Flangepart]

Scientist: I have no idea how this creature works.

Reporter: But you must have some idea!

Sciestist: This is the 1950's, idiot. If we can't drop an A-bomb on it, we're S.O.L.

[Chainsawmidget]

"What have you found out, doc?"

"These bite marks... they don't match any known animal of that size.  Considering the particular pattern of the incisions, not to mention the burns, which appear to be some form of acid or venom, I can only conclude that these people were killed by some gigantic insect."

"I don't like that answer, doc.  What else you got?"

"Sigh.  It was a really big bear.  A bear that either spits acid or has the worst breath imaginable."

"We'll go with that."



 

[alandhopewell]

      DEPUTY- "Sheriff, why do I have to go in after it?"

       SHERIFF- "That colored guy already left town."   

[Flangepart]

Villain looking at hero's corpse. Turns to chief henchman: "I must admit. Linking me to Eviloverlord.com was a stroke of genius. For that you get promoted to vice commander of Earth!"

[Flangepart]

Quint Jr. "Theres the shark, lads. Break out the dynamite and hand grenades."

[God the Worms]

*After putting down a group of cyborg nazi coke mules with a infinite ammo assault rifle; the studly, feathered mullet-ed, camouflaged ex-soldier of fortune puts on his aviators and squints through at his ex-best friend turned godless terrorist*

Studly, feathered mullet-ed, camouflaged, ex-soldier of fortune: "Now it's time to f**k sh*t up, F**K STYLE!"

*He throws his rifle like a spear towards his enemy's stomach, causing an overabundant amount of visceral carnage to explode and rain down upon the still hot metal of the cyborg carcasses*

[alandhopewell]

     ACTUAL DIALOGUE FROM BAD MOVIE!
(SCENE OPENS in beach cottage, night. Door to cottage is smashed open, wet seaweed festooning the wreckage. Wet, webbed footprints cross the living room, to two mangled corpses, the newlyweds who rented the cottage. Their flesh is torn, necks broken, and each has a look of abject terror on their faces .)

      (DETECTIVE LT. SMITH SPEAKS)

    Round up all the hoboes and vagrants in the area.

[Flangepart]

Hero stands over villains corpse: "Dude. Thanks for finding Eviloverlord.com. For that I'll let you loot the body. Just let me turn off the doomsday machine."

[lester1/2jr]

"No, seriously Charlie. The dead one's full again"

[LilCerberus]

--(A washed-up Hollywood bad@$$ with a fully receded hairline, as he stares down a bunch of brain eating zombies)--

"Y'all want this 'ere noggin? Well, here it is gang, nekkid as the day it was born! Come & get it! Just le'me fry up them brainpans for ya!"

[God the Worms]

Bad sequel dialogue

Guy #1- "You said they'd be dead forever!"

Guy #2- "Well it looks like forever wasn't long enough!" [Blasts zombie mutant gerbil/komodo dragon hybrid with his shotgun]

[Flangepart]

"What part of 'we're all gonna die' don't you understand?