My sister in law died suddenly tonight behind the wheel of her jeep

[Allhallowsday]

I haven't popped in here lately, but I hope you're doing well sir. 

I've lost so many, I don't have a second look at death.  I'm only 31.

But, I feel for you.  Your loss.  It's always sad. 

You're sweet, Happy. 
I'm much older, but by 31 my father was dead... uhm, 30!!  He's gone a long time.  I turned 31 at the end of the year my father died, but by then he was gone nearly 8 months.  I always looked up to my brother, but, I guess, I loved his wife even more than I loved him.  She was beautiful and sweet, always smiling, finding humor, and she loved chocolate, Horror movies and books, and she loved ALL animals.  I get weepy about her... like tonight.   

[Allhallowsday]

http://youtu.be/QqH7ZzFRKZ0 
ROBIN WILLIAMS died the same day as my angel.  I owed it to my brother to take care of her. 

[ER]

One of the most difficult parts of losing someone you love is society's expectation that feeling that loss should be temporary and heal according to some socially-acceptable timetable. Grief doesn't come with an expiration date, and can take up long-residence in the heart until it comes to live there, no longer a guest but an occupant casting a long shadow, turning high noon to dusk. The reaction to loss is as personal as a fingerprint, and pain as unique as a snowflake. Sadness can be a comfortable place to dwell, or visit, and as consuming as being in love, though less sustaining: it slowly eats the soul to pieces. Mourning can be life-saving, but if there comes a moment a person realizes he has grown too comfortable with sorrow, like the prisoner in his cell at Chillon, maybe that's the point to start looking for a way back, though until then, grief can stay the past, in a hollow fashion, and be quite a seductive force. How a person chooses to keep the flame of memory burning is a highly personal matter.

Peace to all in what life will send your way.

[Allhallowsday]

Today used to be a special day at Dave and Gayle's house; they would have her cousins and their mother, her aunt, would have a turkey with all the trimmings.  Gayle's cousin told me the last time, not too long ago, they saw the cats up on the counter gnawing at the bird...

When our brother-in-law saw this photo he proclaimed: "You were a babe!"  I teased Gayle for the next few years with: "You were a babe... but now you're a Cat Lady..."  

 

My big little piece of Gayle... my little Big piece of Gayle...

[Allhallowsday]

[Allhallowsday]

Why tonight?  It's so cold here in NJ that I can't help thinking about all the cats out in the bitter cold.   Watching the cat crossing the highway and inexplicably making it and crossing back and then trying again...     Tears are running down my face.  Cat brain.  God help us save all the little lives.  And I can't help but miss her. 

[Allhallowsday]

Today is two years.  
My best friend died suddenly two years ago.  
I've recovered.  We all must go on.  

 

My BIG little piece of Gayle... my little BIG piece of Gayle...


http://youtu.be/IUAF3abGY2M

[AoTFan]

Well, s**t, I'm totally late to this thread.

Hey, Hallow, I'm am REAL sorry to hear about your sister.  I know it's not quite the same, but back in '95 a friend of mine passed away, a young lady whom I was very fond of.  Among other things, she was the only girl who'd ever told me that if she hadn't been dating Selim (her boyfriend) that I'd be the type man she'd want to go out with.  Even though we'd talked and knew each other for over two years, I just found out about a month before she passed away that she'd been born with a heart condition. Twenty years later I still think about her and miss her.

One of the few good things about all the crap I'd been through recently is that my sister has stood by my side and we've become closer than we ever have been.  I couldn't imagine losing her, so the pain you're going through most be horrible.  I offer my deepest sympathies.  

(hugs)

[Allhallowsday]

Well, s**t, I'm totally late to this thread.

Hey, Hallow, I'm am REAL sorry to hear about your sister.  I know it's not quite the same, but back in '95 a friend of mine passed away, a young lady whom I was very found of.  Among other things, she was the only girl who'd ever told me that if she hadn't been dating Selim (her boyfriend) that I'd be the type man she'd want to go out with.  Even though we'd talked and knew each other for two years, I just found out about a month before she passed away that she'd been born with a heart condition. Twenty years later I still think about her and miss her.

One of the few good things about all the crap I'd been through recently is that my sister ha stood by my side and we've become closer than we ever have been.  I couldn't imagine losing here, so the pain you're going through most be horrible.  I offer my deepest sympathies. 

(hugs)

I revived this thread because it was the two year anniversary this past Thursday.  Thanks for your kind words. 

[AoTFan]

I revived this thread because it was the two year anniversary this past Thursday.  Thanks for your kind words. 

I won't lie to you, I honestly didn't notice the date.

But, considering I wasn't here when the thread was originally posted everything I said still stands.  I know anniversaries can suck, so I hope you're hanging up okay.

[Allhallowsday]

Thanks for your kind words. 

[Allhallowsday]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN HEAVEN GOOD GIRL GAYLE !!!

[Flangepart]

Two things Bro. Ya look like a friend of mine, and the Peacock just looks so...right in that pic. Stay cool, dude.

[Allhallowsday]

Two things Bro. Ya look like a friend of mine, and the Peacock just looks so...right in that pic. Stay cool, dude.

I agree with you about the peacock.  We bought popcorn to feed the exotic birds in the shelter.  Only in the context of a shelter did I like a zoo, where Gayle volunteered.  I saw lions there.  I hope your friend I look like is cool. 

[Allhallowsday]

Tomorrow is the 4th anniversary of Gayle's death.  I went to Mass this morning and lit a candle. 

I have her cat still here at my feet.