Who Was What-- Classic TV Edition

[ER]

Darrin Stephens VS. Maaaajor Nelson!

Begin!

Round One:
Major Nelson long resisted sleeping with Jeannie. -1.
Darrin Stephens bedded Samantha from the get-go. +1.
Winner: Darrin Stephens.

Round Two:
Major Nelson forbade Jeannie from using magic. -1.
Darrin Stephens forbade Samantha from using using magic. -1.
Winner: Draw.

Round Three:
Major Nelson failed to keep Jeannie's powers secret: -1.
Darrin Stephens did keep Samantha's powers secret. +1.
Winner: Darrin.

Round Four:
Major Nelson was never replaced by an impostor. +1.
Darrin Stephens was somehow replaced with an impostor. -1.
Winner: Major Nelson.

Round Five:
Major Nelson passed on a chance to bang Jeannie's hot cousin. -1 (since he was single).
Darrin Stephens passed on a chance to bang Samantha's hot cousin. +1 (since he was married.)
Winner: Darrin Stephens.

Final Score:
Major Nelson: -3
Darrin Stephens: +1

Resolved! Major Nelson was dumber by a landslide!

Coming Soon:  Morticia Addams VS. Lily Munster!

[Allhallowsday]

I never liked either show enough to know them so well.  Sounds about right. 

Then there is THE ANDY GRIFFITH SHOW.  So I should ask... Who was dumber?  Barney Fife or Gomer Pyle? 


Round One:
Barney Fife long had a girlfriend, Thelma Lou. +1
Gomer Pyle never had a girlfriend. -1
Winner: Barney Fife

Round Two:
Barney Fife cheated on Thelma Lou to make her jealous.  +1
Gomer Pyle never had a girlfriend. -1
Winner: Barney Fife

Round Three:
Barney arrested Gomer. +1
Gomer arrested Barney. +1.
Winner: Draw

Round Four:
Barney fixed Gomer up on a date. +1.
Gomer messed it up and never got a girlfriend. -1.
Winner: Barney Fife

Round Five:
Barney Fife was considered attractive by Thelma Lou. -1
Gomer Pyle was considered attractive by Sergeant Carter. -1
Winner: Draw

That was fun.   

[RCMerchant]

John,-Gomer DID have a girlfriend in GOMER PYLE USMC, Lou-Ann Poovie.

"Elizabeth MacRae. Elizabeth Herndon MacRae (born February 22, 1936 in Columbia, South Carolina) is an American actress who appeared in various television shows and movies from the 1960s to the 1980s. She is probably best known for her role as Lou-Ann Poovie on the series Gomer Pyle, USMC."

[Allhallowsday]

John,-Gomer DID have a girlfriend in GOMER PYLE USMC, Lou-Ann Poovie.

"Elizabeth MacRae. Elizabeth Herndon MacRae (born February 22, 1936 in Columbia, South Carolina) is an American actress who appeared in various television shows and movies from the 1960s to the 1980s. She is probably best known for her role as Lou-Ann Poovie on the series Gomer Pyle, USMC."

Well, there you go!  And I must confess that I reached to that Gomer Pyleosh!t show for laughs, but I made it clear I was only talking about THE ANDY GRIFFITH SHOW.  I remember Gomer Pyle USMC ... I've never looked at the reruns and barely remember it.  I never liked it. 

[RCMerchant]

Well, you mentioned Sgt.Carter...

http://youtu.be/mxQ-Ltfs9ds

[Allhallowsday]

Well, you mentioned Sgt.Carter...

http://youtu.be/mxQ-Ltfs9ds

Go back and READ what I just wrote. 

...
Well, there you go!  And I must confess that I reached to that Gomer Pyleosh!t show for laughs, but I made it clear I was only talking about THE ANDY GRIFFITH SHOW.  I remember Gomer Pyle USMC ... I've never looked at the reruns and barely remember it.  I never liked it. 

mentioned Sgt.Carter...
mentioned Sgt.Carter...
mentioned Sgt.Carter... 

[RCMerchant]

Yes- we are bickering over Gomer Pyle!  
That is why I love BAD MOVIES!   

http://youtu.be/IYn57lmu0XY

[RCMerchant]

I can try this- but I don't know if I can!

Curly vs. Shemp

.Shemp has almost got married. But they were only after his money.  Curly HAS been married- in quite a few stooges shorts all the Stooges had wives. Of course they all dominated them and beat them up!
So Shemp wins! Because he wasn't dumb enough to get married!
Curly-0
Shemp-1

Curly fought back. Shemp just got slapped like a red head stepchild.
Curly-1.
Shemp -0

Curly was a good at barking like a dog. Shemp was too.

Tie!

( I must admit- Shemp is my favorite Stooge!)


http://youtu.be/4ZG6l_wF4e0

[Svengoolie 3]

Who was dumber? Captain James T. Kirk from star trek or Professor John Robinson from lost in space.

Round 1.
Kirk never got married or had kids. -1
Robinson had a wife and 3 kids.-0

Round 2.
Kirk went into space onboard a large, heavily armed starship with shields, photon torpedo tubes and phaser banks.-1
Robinson went into space onboard a small ship with no shields or weapons. -0

Round 3.
Kirk had a large,  highly trained and skilled crew.-1
Robinson had his wife, his kids, some cowboy, a robot and a sniveling cowardly backstabbing weasel as his crew.-0

Round 4.
Kirk's ship was a groundbreaking original design.-1
Robinson's ship was a ripoff of the C-57-D from forbidden planet.-0

Kirk usually had to walk around on planets he went to.-0
Robinson had a real working jet pack and a decent sized ground vehicle.-1


Final score:
Captain James T. Kirk 4.
Professor John Robinson 1.

KIRK WINS!

[ER]

Who Was Cooler?

Lily Munster VS. Mooooooortisha Addams!

Begin!

Round One:
Lily was married to a working (ahem) stiff: -1
Morticia was married to a millionaire psychopath: +1
Winner: Morticia

Round Two:
Lily had an eccentric albeit functional sense of attire: +1
Morticia had an elegant refined look: +2
Winner: Morticia

Round Three:
Lily cared for her "deformed" special needs niece: +2
Morticia cultivated rate exotic flesh-eating plants: +1
Winner: Lily

Round Four:
Lily had an interesting parent in residence: +1
Morticia had an entire extended clan under her roof: +2
Winner: Morticia

Round Five:
Lily was kind and hard-working but not glamorous: +1
Morticia factored into my friend Rob's icky auto-erotic fantasies: -1
Winner: Lily

Final Score:
Lily: +4
Morticia: +5

Today's Winner..... Morticia by a nose!

Next match: Colonel Klink VS. Homer Simpson!

[Svengoolie 3]

People  have always wondered about Marylin on the munsters. The fact is she was a succubus. So of course she looked normal and attractive,  but you notice she never had an ongoing boyfriend?  Spot  helped with the bodies. What did yoiu think they were  feeding him?

BTW I can't agree with calling Gomez a psychopath. Psychopaths tend to have no empathy for anyone. As I recall Gomez was frequently happy to help people out,  often with a big wad of cash.

[Allhallowsday]

Round Four:
Lily had an interesting parent in residence: +1
Morticia had an entire extended clan under her roof: +2
Winner: Morticia

Don't agree.  Grandmama was not as interesting as Grandpa on THE MUNSTERS.  You yourself mentioned Marilyn.  I think the whole contest should be a tie!  It's not Lily's fault she has only one child. 

[Svengoolie 3]

Round Four:
Lily had an interesting parent in residence: +1
Morticia had an entire extended clan under her roof: +2
Winner: Morticia

Don't agree.  Grandmama was not as interesting as Grandpa on THE MUNSTERS.  You yourself mentioned Marilyn.  I think the whole contest should be a tie!  It's not Lily's fault she has only one child. 

What about uncle fester?

[RCMerchant]

I think Lily was sexier, but the ADDAMS FAMILY was much funnier.

[Svengoolie 3]

I think Lily was sexier, but the ADDAMS FAMILY was much funnier.

The Adams family was original and based on a popular cartoon strip. The munsters was a ripoff.