Classic TV Shows Updated To 2020

[indianasmith]

THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES with Jed as a veteran meth cooker, granny as a mean-spirited lesbian biker, Jethro and Ellie May as brother/sister lovers with a three-eyed baby, and Mr. Drisdale as a greedy New York real estate developer dabbling in reality TV and politics . . .

[ER]

THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES with Jed as a veteran meth cooker, granny as a mean-spirited lesbian biker, Jethro and Ellie May as brother/sister lovers with a three-eyed baby, and Mr. Drisdale as a greedy New York real estate developer dabbling in reality TV and politics . . .

Jennifer Lawrence might go for a role like that.

[indianasmith]

She could be Drisdale's seemingly bimbo secretary, Miss Have-It-Any-Way, but secretly be an FBI agent gathering dirt on her boss.

[ER]

Tales from the Crypt would return showing nothing but a silent black screen twenty-four hours a day.

[Svengoolie 3]

If they updated mary Tyler moore this would be the theme song.

https://youtu.be/jmgELLkiCfE

[ER]

MTV's The Real World would follow sheltered Millennials as they graduate from college Gender and Race Studies programs, leaving behind safe speech zones and entering the real world, where people will stop being polite and start being real with them. Multiple twenty-something cranial explosions are sure to result!

[Svengoolie 3]

My favorite martian. After coming to earth to assess it, Martin decides the human race must be eliminated to protect the universe from them. Tim is a radical environmentalist and agrees to help him as long as it's  done in a humane fashion and doesn 't hurt he ecosphere.

[ER]

Leave it to Beaver would....

Nevermind, nevermind, cancel that thought, I'll spare the room my idea. Hurry past now.

[ER]

Brady & Martin. Having faked their deaths and relocated to a remote Pacific island nation, the former spouses of Carol Martin and Mike Brady inexplicably meet and fall in love, unaware that back in the states their erstwhile spouses followed a similar course along with their six children. Brady & Martin become detectives and solve crimes that involve swank music and lots of car chases '70s style, and each episode ends with them laughing at a bad pun.

Their children and one-time spouses are never referenced again!

[Svengoolie 3]

Voyage to the  bottom of the sea.  The green powered submarine seaview is dedicated to cleaning up the oceans and tracking down corporoatre polluters who are summarily executed for environmental crimes upon apprehension.

[ER]

Adam's Family. After managing to get Pa's permission to finally leave the Ponderosa around age forty, Adam Cartwright relocates to a little prairie town where everyone else is "mysterious and spooky" but Adam's family doesn't seem to notice they're different as they live their daily lives among ghouls and zombies and a displaced family of cybermen during a November crossover episode. Heartwarming lessons in non-judgmental feel-good diversity for the whole family!

[ER]

Dennis the Menace. Sloshed on ADHD drugs, Dennis sits listlessly on the sofa all day, gaining weight. Mister Wilson smiles a lot more often now, and his wife does Weight Watchers, so she's less matronly and more comely. Joey's nose no longer perpetually runs because of allergy medication. Margaret stays on social media and never comes out, Dennis' dad works for less money since the Chinese bought his company, Dennis' Mom chases tornadoes in the springtime, and Gina is the neighborhood butch. And, oh yeah, no more love affairs with Tommy's dog Rosie for our boy Ruff, who is of course neutered. All the kids wear helmets when they ride bikes, none hang out car windows when they're driving, their treehouse is five feet off the ground, and there's a fence around the ol' hollow.

Wow, ain't the modern world great?

But wait! Aliens land in a season 1.5 cliffhanger!

[ER]

Cool House. The Tanners of Full House suddenly realize they can't possibly afford the house in San Francisco they been living in, so they relocate to the Hood, where their new neighbors, the cast of Good Times, teach them basic urban survival. In a Very Special Episode, Stephanie gets tricked into smoking crack, and an outraged JJ turns undercover informant to "blast that turkey with dino-mite!"

[ER]

The Mod Squad.

In a dystopian future "that's closer than you think," a squad of semi-enslaved programmers, a black dude, a white dude, and a white chick from Twin Peaks, Washington, who create gaming mods for an AI boss, escape the corporation's compound, restore a 1960s hippie van, and drive through post-industrial America, solving crimes, helping the helpless, and evading the cyborg agents of the AI boss, who still lays claim to owning them via their lifetime servitude contracts.

[claws]

Cheers

The show is set in a service center for Alcoholics Anonymous in Boston, Massachusetts, where a group of locals meet for therapeutic sessions run by and for, alcoholics.