Movies everyone should avoid

kornula · January 11, 2020, 12:36:08 AM

My roommate has this habit of scouring all the pawn shops and thrift stores in town for DVDs for a dollar. If they are not a dollar, he wont buy them. This has led him to create a new sub genre; Dollar DVD hell. DVDs he bought for a dollar (or less) that based on the cover alone, are probably terrible. This week, we dubbed our regular movie watching time to be "Dollar DVD Hell week"

Ensuring we wont be biased or take our time picking a movie from the Dollar DVD hell pile, he put all of them spine cover facing the wall..so we cannot see at all the title. I didn't think I could watch a movie that I could not finish..until Dollar DVD hell...

First movie this week was "Night Divides the Day". Yes, it is a reference to the Doors song. Oddly, the song and the line are never used or referenced to at all. Two seconds in, we comment that it was shot on someones cheap ass phone camera. We were wrong, it was shot in 1997...on VHS. With no lighitng director. Someone claimed to be the DP...but I don't think anhyone on that set knew exactly what a DP actually is or does. Only when they had scenes in broad daylight could you make out what's going on...Given that was on VSH, its an accmplishment very likely by accident. The "story" revolves around college kids (who are actually college age!?) sitting around a campfire telling really weird stories that have nothing to do with the "plot" - neither the story nor plot actually surface until more than half way through. Even then, you're still scratching your head as to what is going on.

Then we come to the music, its angsty 1990's music that is inserted at the worst times. I would say that it distracts you from the s**tty acting, but even then you're notcing how horrible both are instead.

I thought that was the worst we were going to see... boy I was wrong...

"The J - K conspiracy" is about "wacky" Morning DJ's in San Deigo.

...every one of them played by actual morning DJ's from San Deigo.

AVOID THIS MOVIE AT ALL COSTS! IF YOU SEE A COPY ANYWHERE.. BURN IT IMMEDIATELY.

Gabriel Knight · January 13, 2020, 07:11:09 AM

Hilarious story! I expect more of them in the following days.

The whole situation reminded me a little to SEVERED WAYS: THE NORSE DISCOVERY OF AMERICA. If you actually find that one for your personal Dolar DVD Hell, then get ready for some torture.

bob · January 13, 2020, 07:18:37 PM

Bucky Larson --- I've seen things you do not what to know

lester1/2jr · January 14, 2020, 12:46:31 AM

the Madonna version of Swept Away. She's not what you could call an actress. just no stage presence whatsoever. It I'm sure led to the break up of her marriage with whats his name

kornula · January 14, 2020, 02:15:10 AM

"Tribulation" with ...Gary Bussey AND Howie Mandell? And get this... neither of them over act in this movie!

while it was in the "Dollar DVD hell" pile.. it was not bad. The movie gets right to the story 10 minutes in. (read on the imdb page for the story) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0202236/ As far as "Saved again"/Rapture type Jesus-y type films.. the story is predictably hilarious; all the "righteous" people get "raptured" ...everyone else stays behind in a world that is honestly not that bad. Kinda reminds me of Harrison Bergeran a bit. The Devil offers world peace.. somehow , that is a bad thing for "True" Christians. It really is confusing.

But the big kicker is.. Gary Bussey doesn't over act.. nor does Howie!? That alone is its saving grace.

kornula · January 14, 2020, 02:28:18 AM

Quote from: Gabriel Knight on January 13, 2020, 07:11:09 AM
Hilarious story! I expect more of them in the following days.

The whole situation reminded me a little to SEVERED WAYS: THE NORSE DISCOVERY OF AMERICA. If you actually find that one for your personal Dolar DVD Hell, then get ready for some torture.

If either of us finds it for a dollar, we will buy it. I'm not gonna pay even 2$ for that s**t. :P

kornula · January 14, 2020, 02:58:48 AM

Quote from: lester1/2jr on January 14, 2020, 12:46:31 AM
the Madonna version of Swept Away. She's not what you could call an actress. just no stage presence whatsoever. It I'm sure led to the break up of her marriage with whats his name

I read somewhere that Madonna wormed her way into the Bond Film: "Die Another Day" She wanted to have a "love scene" with Pierce. he Said; "No way!" So.. they made her a lesbian so bond would have an excuse not to even be naked near her.

LolaK · January 14, 2020, 02:37:02 PM

Really funny collection. It's borderline between bad movie and horror (of losing your time!)

I saw recently "Ryan's Babe" which is also a really bad movie that doesn't make any sense. But I was pretty high so I kind of enjoyed it :D

kornula · January 19, 2020, 06:52:46 AM

Dollar DVD Hell update:

"Fathom" with Raquel Welch (1967) Everyone was trying to cash in on the 007 craze it seems. Raquel Welch was no exception.

..except she can't act.

At first, we thought this movie isn't totally bad. We get to watch a lot of lovely Spanish scenery and Raquel's costume changes every scene. The story/plot are cohesive enough, the rest of the cast.. eh.

But.. we get to the end.

And the other twist ending.
And another twist ending.
And another twist ending on top of the other twist ending that Ralph The Wonder Llama couldn't stomach.
...and another twist ending on top of the other twist endings.

It was worse than "Cats" and "Return of the King".

Gabriel Knight · January 21, 2020, 06:36:31 AM

Anyone watched JACK AND JILL? I'm very curious about that one.

bob · January 21, 2020, 11:59:56 AM

Quote from: Gabriel Knight on January 21, 2020, 06:36:31 AM
Anyone watched JACK AND JILL? I'm very curious about that one.

it's one of the worst movies from the 2010s

the story is terrible

Adam Sandler isn't convincing in his lead role as Jill

there is intentional and very blatant product placement throughout -- which honestly seems like that's the only reason this movie was made

there is nothing of value here, not even on a it's so bad it's good level

Alex · January 21, 2020, 12:02:11 PM

Anything with Steven Segal in it that has the words "Mercenary", "Justice" or "Kill" in the title.

Rev. Powell · January 21, 2020, 04:23:35 PM

Quote from: Alex on January 21, 2020, 12:02:11 PM
Anything with Steven Segal in it ~~that has the words "Mercenary", "Justice" or "Kill" in the title~~.

Fixed that for you.

chainsaw midget · January 21, 2020, 07:08:33 PM

QuoteAdam Sandler isn't convincing in his lead role as Jill

Adam Sandler is rarely convincing in any lead role.

Oddly enough, he did make a pretty good Dracula in the first two Hotel Transylvania movies. The third one though... not so much.

Alex · January 22, 2020, 02:12:41 AM

Quote from: Rev. Powell on January 21, 2020, 04:23:35 PM
Quote from: Alex on January 21, 2020, 12:02:11 PM
Anything with Steven Segal in it ~~that has the words "Mercenary", "Justice" or "Kill" in the title~~.

Fixed that for you.

I did like Under Siege.