Personal Questions

[Rev. Powell]

If you asked your friends to guess how many people you've had sex with, do you think they'd get it right?

(I should try this. Now where can I make some friends?)

No way! I don't tell anyone about people I've had sex with. (If you saw the people I've had sex with, you'd understand why!)

[ER]

Shrug, just declare bankruptcy on your sex life and wipe it clean. It's easy....

[RCMerchant]

It depends. If it's a really ugly woman, no.

[Alex]

I doubt they'd get it right. I never considered the looks of the woman to be important though, it was more about the experience itself for me.

[Trevor]

I really don't want to gross anyone out with this but the person I was with in my so far last relationship said that I was the best lover she ever had. 😳

[ER]

I really don't want to gross anyone out with this but the person I was with in my so far last relationship said that I was the best lover sge ever had. 😳

Respect!!

[ER]

The old claim is that men tend to inflate their body count and women to downplay it, but I don't know I've found that to seem true.

One thing I have noticed is women will be more detailed and descriptive about sexual events than most men are. Men will say, "I banged her." Women will....tell you extreme details. I've had my late friend Amy in my thoughts lately, even written about her here, and she more than any human being I ever knew in my life would regale everyone with near-pornographic accounts of what she'd been getting up to, and she was prolific in her adventuring too.

Annnnnieway, just had crossed my mind to wonder if friends would make an accurate guess. ("Let's go with 25!") I wonder all kinds of things at random through the day, like if local girls in Nazareth had the hots for Jesus and wondered if he was gay for hanging with men and not having a girlfriend. Or if newborn babies assume this world is just a terrible dream that'll end soon. Or if it's true jungle rot could get under eyelids. Or if Walt Disney had a mistress. Or if Taco Bell realizes its food is basically all the same, like Thomas Kincaid paintings. Or if Bob Ross ever painted sad little trees. You know, unanswerable things.

I mean I just spend my life wondering about stuff. Wonder if that makes me rare? (See, I did it again!)

[HappyGilmore]

If you asked your friends to guess how many people you've had sex with, do you think they'd get it right?

(I should try this. Now where can I make some friends?)

Problem is, most would. I'm blatantly honest and open with everyone so like, I mean.

[ER]

Assuming reincarnation and karma exist, realistically, what would your next earthly lifetime be like, based on the way in which you've lived your current life, its excesses and failings and lessons learned?


Me, I figure I'd come back as a professional insect catcher for the wealthy in Dhaka, since I spent this life working for powerful people without growing wise, so I'd try again from a lower rung. Bug catcher. Fourth World.

My husband would be a celibate nun in Nigeria. Gee, he'd love that.

My late neighbor Mrs. Glenn would be a Chinese girl with an eating disorder.

My friend Hugh would be a helpless child born with a debilitating disease, to teach him existence is not about power and control.

My mom would teach classes in sociology in Canberra.

RC Merchant would transmigrate into an ant for a few months just for the sheer fun of being an ant, since he enjoys watching them.

indy will ascend to a higher plane with my grandma; like her he's done with the world.

Dana will come back as a fluffy Persian cat much loved by a gay couple in Malibu, whom she'll befriend but bite sometimes for no reason.

Lester will Quantum Leap into Tony Hawk circa 1999.

My Uncle Jerk will get eaten by roaches for ten straight lives as lepers.

And my buddy Edie will for sure be German.

As for my children, hey, they're going to live forever.


But seriously, what would fill the tracks you made in this lifetime?

[Trevor]

I would become the next South African President and bring in the following laws which should fix our broken country:

1. No appointment to jobs on the basis of race or gender: merit only.
2. Closure of the apartheid style censorship board.
3. GBV and abuse - against women and children -to be declared a crime and punishable with a very long prison term.
4. Re-institution of the death penalty.
5. Re-introduction of armed forces conscription.
6. Sex work to be legalized.
7. Marijuana use to be legalized but only for religious or medicinal use.
8. Whole scale theft and corruption are to be punished severely.
9. No more re-naming of places in this country: it destroys history.

[indianasmith]

Hmm . . .
Given my lifelong record of premarital celibacy and marital fidelity, I'd probably come back as a gigolo.

As a punishment, of course . . . 

[Paquita]

I used to think reincarnation was hogwash, but then I heard some perspectives on it that I hadn't thought of.  What made sense to me was that there are a multitude of experiences one must go through for the soul to reach maturity, far too many to complete in a single lifetime.  Once those have been achieved you can move on to the next thing which I guess would be a spirit guide or something cool like that.  I also heard that souls travel in circles, so someone's brother in one life might be their child or best friend in the next – my best friend is exactly 9 months younger than me to the day so... sounds legit.

I like to think that we have a checklist on our nightstand on the "otherside" and when we're done, we look at it and have a Homer Simpson "doh!" moment because we missed one or two simple things like "hug a Jewish person". Then in our next life we get pre-loaded with certain attributes to help us out and that's where those weird "huggers" come from.

That said, I'd probably come back as ER 2.0 because I think the life you've led is so polar opposite to mine that anything I didn't check off in this life would be checked off living yours. 

[RCMerchant]

Hug a Jewish person?  

[ER]

Hug a Jewish person?  

That's how you can feel if they're wearing the secret treasure map to their hidden Judengeld. Hey, I've listened to Eric Cartman, I know the score....

[Allhallowsday]

Hug a Jewish person?  

Is that a personal question?  Sheesh.  I answer yes!