build your perfect bad movie

[Trevor]

Based on a Story by Stephen King
adapted by whoever wrote the adaption for Lawnmower Man
Written for Stephen Segal
Actually starring Joe Don Baker
Directed by Harold P. Warren and filmed by whoever that was that did his camera work
Additional casting by Andy Sidaris
editing (ie adding more scenes with nudity) by Jim Wynorski
Music by whoever was responsible for that cover of Ozzy's Hellraiser being used as the credits music in Hellraiser III
Monster design by Rick Baker with a lower than average budget

Special appearance by Christopher Lee who agreed to be filmed for ten minutes while the production staff fixed his car that was broke down on the side of the road.

Additional special appearance by Boris Karloff who was filmed for a different movie, has almost nothing to do with the plot, and who's footage doesn't match anything in this one. 

Released with at least four different titles and ratings. 

[chefzombie]

EXCELLENT !!!!

[RCMerchant]

RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD 1970

A bunch of government made zombies attack San Franciso in 1970.

Starring-

Pam Grier
Jack Nicholson as Manson
Dennis Hopper
Ten Years After as zombies

Directed by Al Adamson

[bob]

Idea stolen from the make your perfect movie in Good Movie section.

Director: Tommy Wiseau
Writer: Tommy Wiseau/Ed Wood/James Nguyen
Lead Actor: Tommy Wiseau
Lead Actress: Tara Reid
Supporting Actor: Mathew Karedas/Nicholas Cage
Supporting Actress: Whitney Moore
Cinematography: Harold P. Warren
Music Comp: Carlo Maria Cordio

Plot: John (Wiseau) and his wife, Dianna (Reed) live in the old south. They are neighbors to Frank (Karadas) and Barbara (Moore) Frank and Barbara have found a way to turn slaves into zombies. The Zombies are under control of Tommy (Cage). John and Dianna discover what is happening and try to stop it. Harriet Tubman (Pam Greer) helps John and Dianna get the slaves out of their zombie state after killing Tommy. She then helps lead the slaves to freedom.

[Alex]

Director: Uwe Boll.
Writer: Jon Peters.
Lead Actor: Casper Van Dien.
Lead Actress: Linnea Quigley.
Supporting Actor: Ryan Reynolds.
Supporting Actress: Nicole Kidman.
Cinematography: JJ Abrams (all that lens flare).
Music: Random guitar feedback.

After Boll picked up the rights to Escape From New York, he immediately set to work on the movie adaptation. Casper Van Dien picked up the role of Snake Plissken while Linnea Quigley, well she turned up and got naked. A lot. A confusing subplot that appeared to have nothing to do with the main thread, involving Ryan Reynolds trying to rescue Nicole Kidman's character from a religious cult. Indeed the fact that this plotline never intersects with the main one, and the characters never meet the main ones has left many critics with the conclusion that it is in fact two separate movies clumsily put together. Many said that the parallels between the film's secondary plot and real life were obvious with Kidman's prior involvement in Scientology and it may well be a true life story of how she escaped from it following her divorce from Tom Cruise.

Watching the movie was made more of an endurance test than most of even Boll's movies due to the overly loud and constant feedback that passed at the soundtrack. Often the speaking on screen was drowned out by this noise, possibly a blessing in disguise given Boll's unusual decision only to have the characters speak in haiku.

The film was released to a limited amount of cinemas but pulled after three days as moviegoers were hospitalised. The cause was snowblindness, brought on by the overuse of lens flare. Currently, the movie is banned under the Geneva Convention due to the effects on people made to watch it. Rumours persist that the CIA however still uses it in place of waterboarding for interrogations.

The film does have the distinction of being the only movie ever made not to have been banned in South Africa, despite being banned in every other country in the world.

[claws]

The Last Bus Stop on the Beach (1978)

When a nuclear accident results in a mutant sea monster, it scares Art School teacher Engelbert (Cameron Mitchell) and his field-tripping pupils who are waiting in a bus shelter at the beach during storm season. Veteran Green Beret Gus (John Saxon), an alcoholic bus driver, is their only chance of escape, but his bus is out of brake fluid and won't stop. Madonna Summer (Ursula Andress), a marine biologist, and her blind sister Zuma (Tisa Farrow), who possesses the capacity to manipulate objects with her thoughts, join the group.

Director: William Girdler
Writer: Larry Cohen
Lead Actor: John Saxon (Gus)
Lead Actress: Ursula Andress (Madonna Summer)
Supporting Actor: Cameron Mitchell (Engelbert)
Supporting Actress: Tisa Farrow (Zuma)
Cinematography: Roseanne Barr
Music: Lalo Schifrin
Alternative Titles: The Atomic Beast Swims East (Troma) / Project Z (Spain) / Scream of the Sharks (Czech) / Blood Beach 2 (Germany)

Trivia:

Filmed in Playa del Carmen (Mexico).

Quentin Tarantino's favorite Mexican/American sea monster movie.

John Saxon was suffering from malaria during filming.

Cameron Mitchell placed hidden fart pillows on all chairs causing hilarity on set.

The hurricane during the climax was a real hurricane.

The sea monster (nicknamed 'Cameron') was designed by Tom Savini (uncredited).

Ursula Andress insisted on doing her own make up. However, she refused to recreate her famous bikini scene from Dr. No (1962).

Rattle stock sound of a rattlesnake was used when the sea monster made its attacking noise.

Larry Cohen was to direct The Last Bus Stop on the Beach (1978) from his own script but decided to make It Lives Again (1978) for Warners instead.

Tisa Farrow was blown 100 feet through the air during the (real) hurricane climax. She only suffered minor cuts and bruises. Farrow gave director Girdler permission to use the footage in the movie.

Tisa Farrow's sister Mia Farrow, who was visiting the set, had a mental breakdown after sitting on one of Cameron Mitchell's hidden fart pillows.

On the show Sneak Previews Siskel & Ebert gave The Last Bus Stop on the Beach (1978) four thumbs down but praised the realistic looking hurricane scenes.

[chefzombie]

I just woke my poor hubby up laughing so loud!!!!

[claws]

Illicit Proposal (1994)

Angelo (Wings Hauser) just got fired, but he needs money to be able to give his fiancé Roberta (Ally Sheedy) the wedding of her dreams. By chance, a wealthy woman (Shannon Tweed) knocks on their door and offers the couple $1,000 if Angelo performs as a stripper at her bachelorette party. Angelo and Roberta reluctantly agree, even if it threatens to destroy their relationship.

Director: Nico Mastorakis
Writer: Nico Mastorakis
Lead Actor: Wings Hauser (Angelo)
Lead Actress: Ally Sheedy (Roberta)
Supporting Actor: Eric Roberts (Pastor Pete)
Supporting Actress: Shannon Tweed (Donatella LaFreur)
Cinematography: Roseanne Barr
Music: Hans Zimmer

Trivia:

A lawsuit against Illicit Proposal kept the film from public view for years, except for a few markets in Europe. Paramount claimed Illicit Proposal infringes the copyright of Indecent Proposal (1993).

Filmed in Greece.

Released as Immoral Proposition in Europe.

Wings Hauser did his own break dance choreography during the bachelorette strip dance.

Released as Bedroom Eyes III: The Stripper in Canada.

Ally Sheedy watched Caligula (1979) and Annie (1982) to prepare for her sex scene with Shannon Tweed.

Eric Roberts broke his small finger from slapping Wings Hauser too hard with a bible during the wedding scene.

[Rev. Powell]

Illicit Proposal (1994)

Angelo (Wings Hauser) just got fired, but he needs money to be able to give his fiancé Roberta (Ally Sheedy) the wedding of her dreams. By chance, a wealthy woman (Shannon Tweed) knocks on their door and offers the couple $1,000 if Angelo performs as a stripper at her bachelorette party. Angelo and Roberta reluctantly agree, even if it threatens to destroy their relationship.

Director: Nico Mastorakis
Writer: Nico Mastorakis
Lead Actor: Wings Hauser (Angelo)
Lead Actress: Ally Sheedy (Roberta)
Supporting Actor: Eric Roberts (Pastor Pete)
Supporting Actress: Shannon Tweed (Donatella LaFreur)
Cinematography: Roseanne Barr
Music: Hans Zimmer

Trivia:

A lawsuit against Illicit Proposal kept the film from public view for years, except for a few markets in Europe. Paramount claimed Illicit Proposal infringes the copyright of Indecent Proposal (1993).

Filmed in Greece.

Released as Immoral Proposition in Europe.

Wings Hauser did his own break dance choreography during the bachelorette strip dance.

Released as Bedroom Eyes III: The Stripper in Canada.

Ally Sheedy watched Caligula (1979) and Annie (1982) to prepare for her sex scene with Shannon Tweed.

Eric Roberts broke his small finger from slapping Wings Hauser too hard with a bible during the wedding scene.

Wish I could give you karma...

[claws]

Thanks 

[Trevor]

Thanks 

Wings Hauser doing break dance choreography 😳🤣🤣🤣🤣

[claws]

The Ranch (1996)

Chilling story of the investigation and trial of Charles Manson, leader of a strange cult which under his direction and 'control' committed numerous murders.

Director: Paul Verhoeven
Writer: Joe Eszterhas
Lead Actor: Arnold Schwarzenegger (Charles Manson)
Lead Actress: Andie MacDowell (Susan Atkins)
Supporting Actor: Ben Stiller (Tex Watson)
Supporting Actress: Drew Barrymore (Linda Kasabian)
Cinematography: Janusz Kaminski
Music: John Williams

Trivia:

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 2% (Rotten)

[chainsaw midget]

The Ranch (1996)

Chilling story of the investigation and trial of Charles Manson, leader of a strange cult which under his direction and 'control' committed numerous murders.

Director: Paul Verhoeven
Writer: Joe Eszterhas
Lead Actor: Arnold Schwarzenegger (Charles Manson)
Lead Actress: Demi Moore (Susan Atkins)
Supporting Actor: Ben Stiller (Tex Watson)
Supporting Actress: Pamela Anderson (Linda Kasabian)
Cinematography: Janusz Kaminski
Music: John Williams

Trivia:

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 2% (Rotten)

and in the hallucination scenes  ... Ben Stein as Satan.

[claws]

 

[ER]

Mine would involve Wallace Shawn having a staring contest with the audience, but the joke would be on the audience, because he'd be in a freeze frame onscreen for the whole two hours. I figure if we got lucky we might be able to cause some blindness out there.