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May 28, 2024, 02:26:53 AM
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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Movies  |  Bad Movies  |  build your perfect bad movie « previous next »
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Author Topic: build your perfect bad movie  (Read 14643 times)
bob
I survived Bucky Larson
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Torgo watches you masterbate!


« on: July 09, 2023, 04:33:40 PM »

Idea stolen from the make your perfect movie in Good Movie section.

Director: Tommy Wiseau
Writer: Tommy Wiseau/Ed Wood/James Nguyen
Lead Actor: Tommy Wiseau
Lead Actress: Tara Reid
Supporting Actor: Mathew Karedas/Nicholas Cage
Supporting Actress: Whitney Moore
Cinematography: Harold P. Warren
Music Comp: Carlo Maria Cordio
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Kubrick, Nolan, Tarantino, Wan, Iñárritu, Scorsese, Chaplin, Abrams, Wes Anderson, Gilliam, Kurosawa - the elite



I believe in the international communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.
Trevor
Uncle Zombie and Eminent Poo Person
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Karma: 2130
Posts: 22881



« Reply #1 on: July 09, 2023, 05:06:55 PM »

Director / Writer / Producer / Cinematographer: Me
Editor: Some Dude With Blunt Scissors
Catering: Jones BBQ and Foot Massage
Clothing: Hobos Delights
Music: Rebecca Black
Dialogue: Tommy Wiseau and Neil Breen
Set Design: Mark Region
Visual FX: The Asylum
Automobiles: Joe's Scrapyard, Pretoria
Make Up and Hairstyling: Random Dude with A Comb.
Random Slapping of Cast Members: Will Smith

A South African explores the lengths that other citizens will go to in order to stay the hell away from him and his seriously bad BO, including much use of rocket propelled grenades and occasional use of toilet spray. Nothing works however and the entire southern tip of Africa is poised on the brink of destruction either via a nuclear holocaust or sinking in a sewerage farm.
« Last Edit: July 11, 2023, 02:56:51 AM by Trevor » Logged

I know I can make it on my own if I try, but I'm searching for the Great Heart
To stand me by, underneath the African sky
A Great Heart to stand me by.
zombie no.one
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: 679
Posts: 5248


Oookaay...


« Reply #2 on: July 09, 2023, 06:24:40 PM »

Director: Umberto Lenzi
Writer: Garth Marenghi
Lead Actor: Herve Villchaize
Lead Actress: Steven Seagal in drag
Supporting Actor: Frank Stallone
Supporting Actress: Linda Day George
Cinematography: Roseanne Barr
Music Comp: The Shaggs
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The Mandela Effect is a Mandela Effect
RCMerchant
Bela
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Posts: 30729


"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


WWW
« Reply #3 on: July 10, 2023, 08:26:44 AM »

^ I'd watch that one!
Logged

"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant
RCMerchant
Bela
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Posts: 30729


"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


WWW
« Reply #4 on: July 10, 2023, 08:33:33 AM »

Director- Al Adamson
Lead Actor- Tor Johnson
Lead Actress- Pam Grier
Supporting actor- Nick Cage
Supporting actress- Bette Davis
Music- the Melvins

Logged

"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant
Alex
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 1566
Posts: 12796



« Reply #5 on: July 10, 2023, 08:47:54 AM »

Director: Uwe Boll.
Writer: Jon Peters.
Lead Actor: Casper Van Dien.
Lead Actress: Linnea Quigley.
Supporting Actor: Ryan Reynolds.
Supporting Actress: Nicole Kidman.
Cinematography: JJ Abrams (all that lens flare).
Music: Random guitar feedback.
Logged

But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
Rev. Powell
Global Moderator
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Karma: 3121
Posts: 27071


Click on that globe for 366 Weird Movies


WWW
« Reply #6 on: July 10, 2023, 01:47:05 PM »

Dead only.

Director: Doris Wishman
Writer: Ed Wood
Lead Actor: Bela Lugosi
Lead Actress: Jayne Mansfield
Supporting Actor: Angelo Rossito
Supporting Actress: Mamie van Doren
Cinematographer: Vilmos Zsigmond (we can get him because he started his career on Corman cheapies)
Music: An anonymous strip-club band

A.I. generated stills and poster concept art







« Last Edit: July 10, 2023, 02:11:27 PM by Rev. Powell » Logged

I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...
bob
I survived Bucky Larson
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: 736
Posts: 9023


Torgo watches you masterbate!


« Reply #7 on: July 10, 2023, 03:34:50 PM »


Director: Roger Corman
Writer: Lloyd Kaufman
Lead Actor: Bruce Campbell
Lead Actress: Linda Blair
Supporting Actor: Malcolm McDowell
Supporting Actress: Pam Greer
Cinematography: Rick Sloane
Music Comp: Gordon Goodwin, Paul Sundfor and John DeBello
Logged

Kubrick, Nolan, Tarantino, Wan, Iñárritu, Scorsese, Chaplin, Abrams, Wes Anderson, Gilliam, Kurosawa - the elite



I believe in the international communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.
zombie no.one
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 679
Posts: 5248


Oookaay...


« Reply #8 on: July 10, 2023, 04:37:24 PM »

Director: Michael Bay
Writer: Jackie Collins
Lead Actor: Hulk Hogan
Lead Actress: Amanda Bynes
Supporting Actor: Pauly Shore
Supporting Actress: Jessica Simpson
Cinematography: Roseanne Barr
Music Comp: Yoko Ono

I would not watch ths tbh
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The Mandela Effect is a Mandela Effect
chefzombie
zombie chef to the stars
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: 308
Posts: 3735



« Reply #9 on: July 11, 2023, 02:43:02 AM »

damn...i was hoping this would have plot summaries. Thumbdown
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don't EVEN...EVER!
Trevor
Uncle Zombie and Eminent Poo Person
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 2130
Posts: 22881



« Reply #10 on: July 11, 2023, 02:58:55 AM »

damn...i was hoping this would have plot summaries. Thumbdown

Just for you  TeddyR TeddyR

Director / Writer / Producer / Cinematographer: Me
Editor: Some Dude With Blunt Scissors
Catering: Jones BBQ and Foot Massage
Clothing: Hobos Delights
Music: Rebecca Black
Dialogue: Tommy Wiseau and Neil Breen
Set Design: Mark Region
Visual FX: The Asylum
Automobiles: Joe's Scrapyard, Pretoria
Make Up and Hairstyling: Random Dude with A Comb.
Random Slapping of Cast Members: Will Smith

A South African explores the lengths that other citizens will go to in order to stay the hell away from him and his seriously bad BO, including much use of rocket propelled grenades and occasional use of toilet spray. Nothing works however and the entire southern tip of Africa is poised on the brink of destruction either via a nuclear holocaust or sinking in a sewerage farm.


 Buggedout Wink
Logged

I know I can make it on my own if I try, but I'm searching for the Great Heart
To stand me by, underneath the African sky
A Great Heart to stand me by.
claws
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 0
Posts: 8754


Occidentali's Karma


« Reply #11 on: July 11, 2023, 08:18:04 AM »

Broker Academy (1985)

Police Academy style comedy written by Neal Israel (Police Academy).

Two feuding real estate agents (Kirk Douglas and Lorraine Gary) are forced to take real estate law class and find themselves butting heads with their abusive instructors (Donald Pleasence and Brigitte Nielsen).

Director: Jeannot Szwarc
Writer: Neal Israel
(uncredited): Faye Dunaway ('Staring Mystery Lady')
Lead Actor: Kirk Douglas (Ralph)
Lead Actress: Lorraine Gary (Elona)
Supporting Actor: Donald Pleasence (Mitchel Myers)
Supporting Actress: Brigitte Nielsen (Missy Malone)
Cinematography: Roseanne Barr
Music: Thomas Dolby

Trivia:

Jeannot Szwarc started filming "Broker Academy" one day after finishing Supergirl (1984).

"Jaws" actress Lorraine Gary came out of retirement to play Elona in Broker Academy. She went on to do Jaws: The Revenge (1987) afterwards.

The second time director Szwarc worked with Gary. They both did Jaws 2 in 1978.

Universal banned Faye Dunaway from the set because of erratic behavior.

The film was a box office flop. It only made $2m.

Nominated for 7 Razzie Awards.

Just like their film characters, Douglas and Gary didn't get along on set.

It is said that Kirk Douglas was a big admirer of Brigitte Nielsen. Apparently Nielsen's fiancé Sylvester Stallone who visited the set on several occasions was outraged and challenged Douglas to a boxing match.

The complete Soundtrack by Thomas Dolby was never released except for a promotional 7" single of the theme song "I'm Broke" featuring Dolby in collaboration with Kirk Douglas rapping with Donald Pleasence and Grandmaster Flash. Dolby produced the music and added original songs for Howard the Duck (1986) one year later.

Donald Pleasence didn't like his character's name, Mitchel Myers. It reminded him too much of Michael Myers.

It is said that Kirk Douglas was a big admirer of Morgan Fairchild and Loni Anderson who both auditioned for playing Elona halfway through filming.

(uncredited): The 'Staring Mystery Lady' appearing silently behind Elona (Lorraine Gary) in several scenes throughout the movie is Faye Dunaway.
« Last Edit: October 08, 2023, 11:23:31 AM by claws » Logged

Is it October yet?
chefzombie
zombie chef to the stars
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 308
Posts: 3735



« Reply #12 on: July 12, 2023, 03:15:48 AM »

damn...i was hoping this would have plot summaries. Thumbdown

Just for you  TeddyR TeddyR

Director / Writer / Producer / Cinematographer: Me
Editor: Some Dude With Blunt Scissors
Catering: Jones BBQ and Foot Massage
Clothing: Hobos Delights
Music: Rebecca Black
Dialogue: Tommy Wiseau and Neil Breen
Set Design: Mark Region
Visual FX: The Asylum
Automobiles: Joe's Scrapyard, Pretoria
Make Up and Hairstyling: Random Dude with A Comb.
Random Slapping of Cast Members: Will Smith

A South African explores the lengths that other citizens will go to in order to stay the hell away from him and his seriously bad BO, including much use of rocket propelled grenades and occasional use of toilet spray. Nothing works however and the entire southern tip of Africa is poised on the brink of destruction either via a nuclear holocaust or sinking in a sewerage farm.


 Buggedout Wink


 i can sleep tonight after this enormous belly laugh! thank you my darling man!
Logged

don't EVEN...EVER!
chefzombie
zombie chef to the stars
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 308
Posts: 3735



« Reply #13 on: July 12, 2023, 03:19:43 AM »

Broker Academy (1985)

Police Academy style comedy written by Neal Israel (Police Academy).

Director: Jeannot Szwarc
Writer: Neal Israel
(uncredited): Faye Dunaway ('Staring Mystery Lady')
Lead Actor: Kirk Douglas (Ralph)
Lead Actress: Lorraine Gary (Elona)
Supporting Actor: Donald Pleasence (Mitchel Myers)
Supporting Actress: Brigitte Nielsen (Fräulein Malone)
Cinematography: Roseanne Barr
Music: Thomas Dolby

Two feuding real estate agents (Kirk Douglas and Lorraine Gary) are forced to take real estate law class and find themselves butting heads with their abusive instructors (Donald Pleasence and Brigitte Nielsen).

Fun facts:

Jeannot Szwarc made "Broker Academy" right after finishing Supergirl (1984).

"Jaws" actress Lorraine Gary came out of retirement to play Elona in Broker Academy. She went on to do Jaws: The Revenge (1987) afterwards.

The second time director Szwarc worked with Gary. They both did Jaws 2 in 1978.

Universal banned Faye Dunaway from the set because of erratic behavior.

The film was a box office flop. It only made $2m.

Nominated for 7 Razzie Awards.

Just like their film characters, Douglas and Gary didn't get along on set.

It is said that Kirk Douglas was a big admirer of Brigitte Nielsen. Apparently Nielsen's fiancé Sylvester Stallone who visited the set on several occasions was outraged and challenged Douglas to a boxing match.

The complete Soundtrack by Thomas Dolby was never released except for a promotional 7" single of the theme song "I'm Broke" featuring Dolby in collaboration with Kirk Douglas rapping with Grandmaster Flash. Dolby produced the music and added original songs for Howard the Duck (1986) one year later.

Donald Pleasence didn't like his character's name, Mitchel Myers. It reminded him too much of Michael Myers.

It is said that Kirk Douglas was a big admirer of Morgan Fairchild and Loni Anderson who both auditioned late for playing Elona halfway through filming.

(uncredited): 'Staring Mystery Lady' (Faye Dunaway) appearing behind Elona (Lorraine Gary) in several scenes throughout the movie.


 and now i'm just screaming with laughter, you have no idea how much i needed you and trev's posts!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!
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don't EVEN...EVER!
chainsaw midget
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: 296
Posts: 1747



« Reply #14 on: July 14, 2023, 09:36:43 AM »

Based on a Story by Stephen King
adapted by whoever wrote the adaption for Lawnmower Man
Written for Stephen Segal
Actually starring Joe Don Baker
Directed by Harold P. Warren and filmed by whoever that was that did his camera work
Additional casting by Andy Sidaris
editing (ie adding more scenes with nudity) by Jim Wynorski
Music by whoever was responsible for that cover of Ozzy's Hellraiser being used as the credits music in Hellraiser III
Monster design by Rick Baker with a lower than average budget

Special appearance by Christopher Lee who agreed to be filmed for ten minutes while the production staff fixed his car that was broke down on the side of the road.

Additional special appearance by Boris Karloff who was filmed for a different movie, has almost nothing to do with the plot, and who's footage doesn't match anything in this one. 

Released with at least four different titles and ratings. 
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