build your perfect bad movie

[bob]

Idea stolen from the make your perfect movie in Good Movie section.

Director: Tommy Wiseau
Writer: Tommy Wiseau/Ed Wood/James Nguyen
Lead Actor: Tommy Wiseau
Lead Actress: Tara Reid
Supporting Actor: Mathew Karedas/Nicholas Cage
Supporting Actress: Whitney Moore
Cinematography: Harold P. Warren
Music Comp: Carlo Maria Cordio

[Trevor]

Director / Writer / Producer / Cinematographer: Me
Editor: Some Dude With Blunt Scissors
Catering: Jones BBQ and Foot Massage
Clothing: Hobos Delights
Music: Rebecca Black
Dialogue: Tommy Wiseau and Neil Breen
Set Design: Mark Region
Visual FX: The Asylum
Automobiles: Joe's Scrapyard, Pretoria
Make Up and Hairstyling: Random Dude with A Comb.
Random Slapping of Cast Members: Will Smith

A South African explores the lengths that other citizens will go to in order to stay the hell away from him and his seriously bad BO, including much use of rocket propelled grenades and occasional use of toilet spray. Nothing works however and the entire southern tip of Africa is poised on the brink of destruction either via a nuclear holocaust or sinking in a sewerage farm.

[zombie no.one]

Director: Umberto Lenzi
Writer: Garth Marenghi
Lead Actor: Herve Villchaize
Lead Actress: Steven Seagal in drag
Supporting Actor: Frank Stallone
Supporting Actress: Linda Day George
Cinematography: Roseanne Barr
Music Comp: The Shaggs

[RCMerchant]

^ I'd watch that one!

[RCMerchant]

Director- Al Adamson
Lead Actor- Tor Johnson
Lead Actress- Pam Grier
Supporting actor- Nick Cage
Supporting actress- Bette Davis
Music- the Melvins

[Alex]

Director: Uwe Boll.
Writer: Jon Peters.
Lead Actor: Casper Van Dien.
Lead Actress: Linnea Quigley.
Supporting Actor: Ryan Reynolds.
Supporting Actress: Nicole Kidman.
Cinematography: JJ Abrams (all that lens flare).
Music: Random guitar feedback.

[Rev. Powell]

Dead only.

Director: Doris Wishman
Writer: Ed Wood
Lead Actor: Bela Lugosi
Lead Actress: Jayne Mansfield
Supporting Actor: Angelo Rossito
Supporting Actress: Mamie van Doren
Cinematographer: Vilmos Zsigmond (we can get him because he started his career on Corman cheapies)
Music: An anonymous strip-club band

A.I. generated stills and poster concept art

[bob]

Director: Roger Corman
Writer: Lloyd Kaufman
Lead Actor: Bruce Campbell
Lead Actress: Linda Blair
Supporting Actor: Malcolm McDowell
Supporting Actress: Pam Greer
Cinematography: Rick Sloane
Music Comp: Gordon Goodwin, Paul Sundfor and John DeBello

[zombie no.one]

Director: Michael Bay
Writer: Jackie Collins
Lead Actor: Hulk Hogan
Lead Actress: Amanda Bynes
Supporting Actor: Pauly Shore
Supporting Actress: Jessica Simpson
Cinematography: Roseanne Barr
Music Comp: Yoko Ono

I would not watch ths tbh

[chefzombie]

damn...i was hoping this would have plot summaries.

[Trevor]

damn...i was hoping this would have plot summaries.

Just for you 

Director / Writer / Producer / Cinematographer: Me
Editor: Some Dude With Blunt Scissors
Catering: Jones BBQ and Foot Massage
Clothing: Hobos Delights
Music: Rebecca Black
Dialogue: Tommy Wiseau and Neil Breen
Set Design: Mark Region
Visual FX: The Asylum
Automobiles: Joe's Scrapyard, Pretoria
Make Up and Hairstyling: Random Dude with A Comb.
Random Slapping of Cast Members: Will Smith

A South African explores the lengths that other citizens will go to in order to stay the hell away from him and his seriously bad BO, including much use of rocket propelled grenades and occasional use of toilet spray. Nothing works however and the entire southern tip of Africa is poised on the brink of destruction either via a nuclear holocaust or sinking in a sewerage farm.

[claws]

Broker Academy (1985)

Police Academy style comedy written by Neal Israel (Police Academy).

Two feuding real estate agents (Kirk Douglas and Lorraine Gary) are forced to take real estate law class and find themselves butting heads with their abusive instructors (Donald Pleasence and Brigitte Nielsen).

Director: Jeannot Szwarc
Writer: Neal Israel
(uncredited): Faye Dunaway ('Staring Mystery Lady')
Lead Actor: Kirk Douglas (Ralph)
Lead Actress: Lorraine Gary (Elona)
Supporting Actor: Donald Pleasence (Mitchel Myers)
Supporting Actress: Brigitte Nielsen (Missy Malone)
Cinematography: Roseanne Barr
Music: Thomas Dolby

Trivia:

Jeannot Szwarc started filming "Broker Academy" one day after finishing Supergirl (1984).

"Jaws" actress Lorraine Gary came out of retirement to play Elona in Broker Academy. She went on to do Jaws: The Revenge (1987) afterwards.

The second time director Szwarc worked with Gary. They both did Jaws 2 in 1978.

Universal banned Faye Dunaway from the set because of erratic behavior.

The film was a box office flop. It only made $2m.

Nominated for 7 Razzie Awards.

Just like their film characters, Douglas and Gary didn't get along on set.

It is said that Kirk Douglas was a big admirer of Brigitte Nielsen. Apparently Nielsen's fiancé Sylvester Stallone who visited the set on several occasions was outraged and challenged Douglas to a boxing match.

The complete Soundtrack by Thomas Dolby was never released except for a promotional 7" single of the theme song "I'm Broke" featuring Dolby in collaboration with Kirk Douglas rapping with Donald Pleasence and Grandmaster Flash. Dolby produced the music and added original songs for Howard the Duck (1986) one year later.

Donald Pleasence didn't like his character's name, Mitchel Myers. It reminded him too much of Michael Myers.

It is said that Kirk Douglas was a big admirer of Morgan Fairchild and Loni Anderson who both auditioned for playing Elona halfway through filming.

(uncredited): The 'Staring Mystery Lady' appearing silently behind Elona (Lorraine Gary) in several scenes throughout the movie is Faye Dunaway.

[chefzombie]

damn...i was hoping this would have plot summaries.

Just for you 

Director / Writer / Producer / Cinematographer: Me
Editor: Some Dude With Blunt Scissors
Catering: Jones BBQ and Foot Massage
Clothing: Hobos Delights
Music: Rebecca Black
Dialogue: Tommy Wiseau and Neil Breen
Set Design: Mark Region
Visual FX: The Asylum
Automobiles: Joe's Scrapyard, Pretoria
Make Up and Hairstyling: Random Dude with A Comb.
Random Slapping of Cast Members: Will Smith

A South African explores the lengths that other citizens will go to in order to stay the hell away from him and his seriously bad BO, including much use of rocket propelled grenades and occasional use of toilet spray. Nothing works however and the entire southern tip of Africa is poised on the brink of destruction either via a nuclear holocaust or sinking in a sewerage farm.

i can sleep tonight after this enormous belly laugh! thank you my darling man!

[chefzombie]

Broker Academy (1985)

Police Academy style comedy written by Neal Israel (Police Academy).

Director: Jeannot Szwarc
Writer: Neal Israel
(uncredited): Faye Dunaway ('Staring Mystery Lady')
Lead Actor: Kirk Douglas (Ralph)
Lead Actress: Lorraine Gary (Elona)
Supporting Actor: Donald Pleasence (Mitchel Myers)
Supporting Actress: Brigitte Nielsen (Fräulein Malone)
Cinematography: Roseanne Barr
Music: Thomas Dolby

Two feuding real estate agents (Kirk Douglas and Lorraine Gary) are forced to take real estate law class and find themselves butting heads with their abusive instructors (Donald Pleasence and Brigitte Nielsen).

Fun facts:

Jeannot Szwarc made "Broker Academy" right after finishing Supergirl (1984).

"Jaws" actress Lorraine Gary came out of retirement to play Elona in Broker Academy. She went on to do Jaws: The Revenge (1987) afterwards.

The second time director Szwarc worked with Gary. They both did Jaws 2 in 1978.

Universal banned Faye Dunaway from the set because of erratic behavior.

The film was a box office flop. It only made $2m.

Nominated for 7 Razzie Awards.

Just like their film characters, Douglas and Gary didn't get along on set.

It is said that Kirk Douglas was a big admirer of Brigitte Nielsen. Apparently Nielsen's fiancé Sylvester Stallone who visited the set on several occasions was outraged and challenged Douglas to a boxing match.

The complete Soundtrack by Thomas Dolby was never released except for a promotional 7" single of the theme song "I'm Broke" featuring Dolby in collaboration with Kirk Douglas rapping with Grandmaster Flash. Dolby produced the music and added original songs for Howard the Duck (1986) one year later.

Donald Pleasence didn't like his character's name, Mitchel Myers. It reminded him too much of Michael Myers.

It is said that Kirk Douglas was a big admirer of Morgan Fairchild and Loni Anderson who both auditioned late for playing Elona halfway through filming.

(uncredited): 'Staring Mystery Lady' (Faye Dunaway) appearing behind Elona (Lorraine Gary) in several scenes throughout the movie.

and now i'm just screaming with laughter, you have no idea how much i needed you and trev's posts!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!

[chainsaw midget]

Based on a Story by Stephen King
adapted by whoever wrote the adaption for Lawnmower Man
Written for Stephen Segal
Actually starring Joe Don Baker
Directed by Harold P. Warren and filmed by whoever that was that did his camera work
Additional casting by Andy Sidaris
editing (ie adding more scenes with nudity) by Jim Wynorski
Music by whoever was responsible for that cover of Ozzy's Hellraiser being used as the credits music in Hellraiser III
Monster design by Rick Baker with a lower than average budget

Special appearance by Christopher Lee who agreed to be filmed for ten minutes while the production staff fixed his car that was broke down on the side of the road.

Additional special appearance by Boris Karloff who was filmed for a different movie, has almost nothing to do with the plot, and who's footage doesn't match anything in this one. 

Released with at least four different titles and ratings.