RECENT VIEWINGS (Bad Movie Thread!)

[Dr. Whom]

Biggles, adventures in time

I was a bit hesitant about what category I'd put this in, as it is not that bad, but it is something you'd watch only out of curiosity, not entertainment. It is also a prime example of an aspect of filmmaking that baffles me the most: you have something that has an existing fanbase and you want to adapt it into a movie. So you make a movie completely ditches everything why the fans love the original, and just keep some superficial elements. Why bother?

Anyway, this is the story of a 1980s caterer who is the 'time twin' (don't ask) of WW I ace flyer Biggles and keeps popping back and forth between the 1986 and 1917 to stop the Germans from developing a sonic weapon and winning WW I.

The whole thing is just as silly as it sounds. It suffers from having underwritten characters, atrocious comic relief and a main actor with the charisma of a cauliflower (in fairness, it was his first leading role). Also, the whole thing is far too ambitious for its budget, the WW I scenes are clearly cobbled together. It does have a certain appeal, and if you see this at an impressionable age (and preferably unaware of the Biggles books), I can imagine you'd love it.

[M.10rda]

Biggles, adventures in time

I was a bit hesitant about what category I'd put this in, as it is not that bad, but it is something you'd watch only out of curiosity,

...I have always been very curious about this title, so thank you for reviewing!

[Dr. Whom]

Biggles, adventures in time

I was a bit hesitant about what category I'd put this in, as it is not that bad, but it is something you'd watch only out of curiosity,

...I have always been very curious about this title, so thank you for reviewing!

It is also the last movie of Peter Cushing, who has more presence than the rest of the cast combined

[claws]

Hrm. I was aware of the Biggles movie back in the day, but never actually watched it. The movie's description did little to nothing to get me interested.
Quite honestly, I'm still not very interested.

[M.10rda]

HOLLYWOOD HIGH (1976):
When I was a kid, there was a very brief/dismissive capsule review of ERASERHEAD in one of the major video review bibles... either Leonard Maltin's or another one like that. It read, simply (to paraphrase): "Takes place in a world where everyone is given a lobotomy at birth - nothing else can explain the behavior of the characters in this movie."

Although whoever wrote that about ERASERHEAD is a reductive idiot, I remain amused by the glibness of this review. Hence I apply it now more judiciously to HOLLYWOOD HIGH, 85-ish minutes of driving footage, food fights, impromptu beach volleyball, soft AM format acoustic "rock", and sped-up footage of people falling over when cars speed past them. Also a lot of topless women, which is fine, but in the 21st century we have the internet for that if we really want to see it - no need to subject yourself to this inanity. A great reminder of why I tend to avoid 70s "sex" comedies!

0.5/5

Hy Pike, the horrifying looking and terrible acting bad guy from HACK-O-LANTERN is billed here as "Hy Camp" and plays a Rip Taylor-style gay teacher who chases teenage boys and men in dresses. He might be the best thing about this movie while also being one of the worst things about Cinema, so you do your own math.

[zombie no.one]

never heard of this, but there's 2 short clips on youtube. just watched one of them and feel like I've seen the whole movie... that way of talking dumb, yeah that ERASERHEAD review applies...   reminds me of THE BEACH GIRLS, another excuse for a teen movie where nothing happens.

- of course these kind of movies can be great in the right hands (DAZED & CONFUSED)

[M.10rda]

  DAZED AND CONFUSED is a legitimate classic! I never even considered it while trying to watch this crap.

[zombie no.one]

yeah maybe a stretch to put it in the same category. haha...

[M.10rda]

ZOMBIES ON BROADWAY (1945):
The thing that most casual Bad Movie tourists fail to understand is that the bad part of Bela Lugosi movies from the 1940s is never Bela Lugosi. Here's a particularly good example of a bad Bela Lugosi movie where Bela is great. I mean, he's always great, but he looks particularly healthy here, is totally invested, and honestly seems to be having a ton of fun. Yeah, Bela's just playing another mad scientist - however he's not demonic or sadistic or even vengeful here... he's a nice, normal guy who just wants to prove to the world of science that he can create an army of zombies! Bela gets punchlines, he gets to play wacky slapstick opposite a capuchin monkey, he gets to chase characters with a gun and shoot at them, and he even gets to do a few stunts. Really good Bela here!

Actually most of the other actors do a good job, too. The female lead is a spunky Lauren Bacall type; Bela's got a henchman who's pretty funny; and there's a long early scene w/ an amusing elderly (white) professor (a rival of Bela's) and his very amusing assistant, a wry Mantan Moreland type who I hoped would stick around (they don't). So why's this Bad Bela Lugosi Movie bad? Very simply, the top-billed leads - two talentless dullards named Brown and Carney who somehow convinced the producers that they could pull off appealing Abbott & Costello shtick for 70 minutes. They can't - they're black holes of humor and interest.

It doesn't help that they spend half the movie traveling from NYC to Africa (or the Carribbean or - God knows) looking for third-billed Bela, then they find him and don't even have the decency to spend the rest of the movie screwing around w/ him... instead coming back to Broadway to make good on a title that no one cares about anyway. In spite of the cool Mantan Moreland dude and in spite of the main black zombie getting to whup some white ass at the climax, this movie is also pretty freaking racist, w/ lengthy hijinx among tribal natives (ugh) and one of the leads doing an extensive blackface routine.  Also, one of the leads plays a character named "Jerry", so people are constantly yelling "Jerry!!!" even more often than Len Lesser aka TV's "Uncle Leo". Y'know what, f**k this stupid film.

2.5/5

But viva Lugosi!

[M.10rda]

THE PROJECTIONIST (1970):
This is another review that's on the bubble. I think some folks love this film and maybe you will too. It was clearly made w/ thought, love, and some skill, yet I just didn't enjoy it much for a few specific reasons. Mileage may vary!

Chuck McCann is the eponymous wage slave at a beautiful old single screen movie house, where he and the other employees suffer under the cruel supervision of general manager Rodney Dangerfield (!). McCann spends most of his time fantasizing about fantastic exploits as a superhero in B+W sped-up silent film style dream sequences, which often are intercut w/ archival footage from big Hollywood pictures including CASABLANCA, THE MALTESE FALCON, CITIZEN KANE, and many others.

This aspect alone makes THE PROJECTIONIST a real curiosity piece and I'm unsure on how it was ever legally released (whether in 1970 or in the past couple decades on DVD), as the clips frequently surpass the few seconds which would qualify as copyright-free fair use. That said, the long and very broad fantasy sequences are otherwise a real drag imho and the biggest drawback to getting through THE PROJECTIONIST... though, again, it seems like both McCann and the director put a ton of affection into these passages - it just doesn't translate for me. Also, as a guy who both managed movie theaters and projected celluloid in the late 90s and 00s, the sad life of a cinema employee laboring for long hours under brutish employers is quite familiar to me, and THE PROJECTIONIST revived all the depressing aspects of those jobs w/o depicting any of the fun perks! I knew one older guy who was a lot like McCann, too, and he came to a sad and lonely end after a thankless career doing this stuff... so THE PROJECTIONIST, while it endeavors to ennoble the profession, is really just a bummer for me.

But! There are nice touches, like the very opening and ending to the film, and like the supporting performance by Jan Kohout as a beleaguered elderly concessionaire. McCann and Dangerfield also engage in hand-to-hand combat on top of a mountain (!!!), which is something you won't see elsewhere.

2.5/5 subjectively, though an admirable attempt

Dangerfield actually is credible as a serious antagonist and would've been effective in a supporting role in a Scorsese pic, like Don Rickles in CASINO.

[zombie no.one]

we had a thread a while ago about movies where parts from other movies are seen - either being watched on tv, or just incorperated somehow... there are loads obviously, but I don't think that one came up.

[M.10rda]

I won't spoil it for those interested, but the opening to THE PROJECTIONIST is its most effective instance of incorporating footage from another film. Again, probably worth a look for many of you!

[M.10rda]

VOODOO MAN (1944):
Another day, another poverty row Bela Lugosi flick. I've seen enough of them now that my fondness and respect for Bela is only ever reinforced, as the guy still hasn't phoned it in once, so far as I've seen. On the other hand, another sympathetic good-humored bad guy performance from Bela isn't any kind of refreshing surprise and will only take you so far in some of these flicks.

The senselessly titled VOODOO MAN doesn't involve any actual "voodoo", though Bela and George Zucco wear goofy sorcerer robes and Zucco seems to perform demonic rituals of some kind. Bela is a (not particularly) mad medical doctor, not a scientist, though somehow he has an invisible microwave beam-type machine that causes cars to break down outside his mansion. His wife has been dead for 22 years but he keeps her perfectly preserved body sitting upright with its eyes open (and she still looks pretty foxy TBH). Bela goes around collecting other foxy dames who might have an "affinity" w/ his wife's spirit and hypnotizes them and makes them stare into his dead wife's dead open eyes while he holds their hands and Zucco chants and gesticulates with a turban on his bald head and John Carradine plays the bongos. Yep, nothing about this film makes much darn sense whatsoever.

William Beaudine directed this two decades before BILLY THE KID VERSUS DRACULA and compared to somnolent stuff like that, Beaudine seems well-caffeinated here. He cuts to multiple angles and focal lengths within scenes and there is even an extreme close-up of a legitimately impressive "special effect" during one of the ceremonies.

Most of the acting is solid though Bela keeps a bunch of weird henchmen around his basement (besides Zucco and Carradine) and those folks look surprised to have a camera pointed at them and legitimately unnerved by the acting styles of the horror icons. Carradine looks young, has great hair, and does an odd shuffle-step as he escorts damsels around their dungeon. Bela is such a perfect gentleman and decent kind of guy when he's not kidnapping ladies that you really feel bad for him at the end. I suspect he sometimes regretted only ever playing villains after about 1940 but he imbues them w/ a lot of potential for the viewer's empathy and that does make some difference. I watched a colorized print from sometime this century (didn't know they did that after like 1985!) and it actually made the darn thing look better than it would've in low-rent B+W.

2/5
Dumb as hell but for a movie titled VOODOO MAN it ain't explicitly racist (like ZOMBIES ON BROADWAY) and it's only an hour.

[pacman000]

Battle Beyond the Stars

Some good FX for a low-budget movie. Decent acting. Nice James Horner score. Star Wars mixed with The Magnificent 7 sounds good, but this still fell flat. Why didn't the bad guy just blast their planet when they didn't surrender? And what particular skills do the mercenaries offer?

I may watch it again sometime, since I like space operas, but it's not the best the genre has.

[RCMerchant]

VOODOO MAN (1944):
Another day, another poverty row Bela Lugosi flick. I've seen enough of them now that my fondness and respect for Bela is only ever reinforced, as the guy still hasn't phoned it in once, so far as I've seen. On the other hand, another sympathetic good-humored bad guy performance from Bela isn't any kind of refreshing surprise and will only take you so far in some of these flicks.

The senselessly titled VOODOO MAN doesn't involve any actual "voodoo", though Bela and George Zucco wear goofy sorcerer robes and Zucco seems to perform demonic rituals of some kind. Bela is a (not particularly) mad medical doctor, not a scientist, though somehow he has an invisible microwave beam-type machine that causes cars to break down outside his mansion. His wife has been dead for 22 years but he keeps her perfectly preserved body sitting upright with its eyes open (and she still looks pretty foxy TBH). Bela goes around collecting other foxy dames who might have an "affinity" w/ his wife's spirit and hypnotizes them and makes them stare into his dead wife's dead open eyes while he holds their hands and Zucco chants and gesticulates with a turban on his bald head and John Carradine plays the bongos. Yep, nothing about this film makes much darn sense whatsoever.

William Beaudine directed this two decades before BILLY THE KID VERSUS DRACULA and compared to somnolent stuff like that, Beaudine seems well-caffeinated here. He cuts to multiple angles and focal lengths within scenes and there is even an extreme close-up of a legitimately impressive "special effect" during one of the ceremonies.

Most of the acting is solid though Bela keeps a bunch of weird henchmen around his basement (besides Zucco and Carradine) and those folks look surprised to have a camera pointed at them and legitimately unnerved by the acting styles of the horror icons. Carradine looks young, has great hair, and does an odd shuffle-step as he escorts damsels around their dungeon. Bela is such a perfect gentleman and decent kind of guy when he's not kidnapping ladies that you really feel bad for him at the end. I suspect he sometimes regretted only ever playing villains after about 1940 but he imbues them w/ a lot of potential for the viewer's empathy and that does make some difference. I watched a colorized print from sometime this century (didn't know they did that after like 1985!) and it actually made the darn thing look better than it would've in low-rent B+W.

2/5
Dumb as hell but for a movie titled VOODOO MAN it ain't explicitly racist (like ZOMBIES ON BROADWAY) and it's only an hour.

Believe it or not- Beuadine directed the Mary Pickford quasi-horror film SPARROWS (1926), which was a  hit, and considered a classic.