Trevor
South African Film and Terrible Underpants Archivist
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 540
Posts: 7250
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« on: March 01, 2010, 08:28:37 AM » |
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Two guys are swimming in the ocean off Durban, South Africa, when one of them turns around and sees two fins heading towards them. He grabs the other guy and tells him "Look at that!" The other guy goes  and says "If that isn't a 1958 Cadillac, we're in deep sh*t!"  |
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El Misfito
Actin' like a Jackass since 1994
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 478
Posts: 7986
Punk ain't dead yet.
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« Reply #1 on: March 01, 2010, 08:31:06 AM » |
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What is an owl's favorite subject at school? Owlgebra
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I'm a desajuste!
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Mr. DS
Master Of Cinematic Bowel Movements
B-Movie Kraken
Karma: 1771
Posts: 14857
"No I obviously do not have a dead cat in here..."
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« Reply #2 on: March 01, 2010, 12:40:36 PM » |
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Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snow bank
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Ed, Ego and Superego
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 211
Posts: 2288
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« Reply #3 on: March 01, 2010, 01:25:51 PM » |
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Why don't cannibals like clowns?
They taste funny.
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Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?
Si Hoc Legere Scis Nimium Eruditionis Habes
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Jack
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 777
Posts: 7046
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« Reply #4 on: March 01, 2010, 01:41:56 PM » |
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What's Mary short for?
She's got no legs.
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Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
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El Misfito
Actin' like a Jackass since 1994
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 478
Posts: 7986
Punk ain't dead yet.
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« Reply #5 on: March 01, 2010, 02:24:45 PM » |
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What did Delaware? Her New Jersey. (Sorry if i hurt anyone's feelings)
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I'm a desajuste!
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Joe the Destroyer
Guest
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« Reply #6 on: March 01, 2010, 02:54:09 PM » |
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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?"
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Silverlady
Bad Movie Lover
Karma: 128
Posts: 949
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« Reply #7 on: March 01, 2010, 03:33:57 PM » |
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If you threw a brunnette and a blonde up in the air which one would come down first?
The brunnette ... the blond would have to stop and ask for directions first.
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Hold onto your dreams ....
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Cthulhu
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 242
Posts: 2073
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« Reply #8 on: March 01, 2010, 03:42:26 PM » |
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Why did they bury the indian behind the mountain?
Because he died.
There's an other version of this, too:
Why did they bury the fireman behind the mountain?
Because that's where the cemetery is.
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The Master wouldn't approve.
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Mr. DS
Master Of Cinematic Bowel Movements
B-Movie Kraken
Karma: 1771
Posts: 14857
"No I obviously do not have a dead cat in here..."
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« Reply #9 on: March 01, 2010, 04:33:04 PM » |
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Why did Piglet stick his head in the toilet?
He was look for Pooh.
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JJ80
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 453
Posts: 6247
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« Reply #10 on: March 01, 2010, 04:58:24 PM » |
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Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
Because it was stuck to the chicken's foot.........
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There are few things more beautiful than a sporting montage with a soft-rock soundtrack
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Sleepyskull
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 170
Posts: 1088
Well,well,well...
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« Reply #11 on: March 01, 2010, 05:14:01 PM » |
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A man walks into a bar. He said, "OUCH!"
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Humanity takes itself too seriously. It is the world`s original sin. - Oscar Wilde
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Allhallowsday
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 1300
Posts: 8811
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped!
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« Reply #12 on: March 01, 2010, 05:41:14 PM » |
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A man walks into a cafe and orders a cup of coffee, no cream. A moment later, the waiter comes back and says, "We're out of cream. Can it be no milk?"
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If you want to view paradise . . . simply look around and view it!
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Paquita
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 283
Posts: 1291
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« Reply #13 on: March 01, 2010, 06:54:43 PM » |
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A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants. The bartender asks "Hey, why do you got a steering wheel on your pants?" and the pirate says "Arr! It's drivin' me nuts!"  |
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Saucerman
Opinionated Blowhard Par Excellence
B-Movie Site Webmaster
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 188
Posts: 1232
Hypnotic, ain't it?
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« Reply #14 on: March 01, 2010, 07:27:26 PM » |
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This one's for Indianasmith...
Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A: Because they have big fingers.
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