Bad Movie Logo
"A website to the detriment of good film"
Custom Search
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?
September 19, 2018, 06:23:13 AM
605974 Posts in 46742 Topics by 6211 Members
Latest Member: Edickoff Forum  |  Movies  |  Good Movies  |  Transmorphers (2007) « previous next »
Pages: [1]
Author Topic: Transmorphers (2007)  (Read 531 times)
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema

Karma: 478
Posts: 3801

« on: August 26, 2016, 09:31:28 PM »

Mechanical aliens travel across the universe to invade earth, and quickly take it over.  Humanity hides like ten feet underground in an enormous, subterranean city.  A bunch of stuff that has nothing to do with anything happens.  Then some guys try to capture a fuel cell from one of the robots.  They succeed.  One of the main characters turns out to be a robot himself, so they install the fuel cell in him because, uh.  Look, it'll enable him to destroy all the robots, ok?  Anyway, the final battle for humanity happens.  Robots stomp around, occasionally transforming into planes or tanks.  Humans shoot guns at nothing in particular.  Some radar dishes shoot lightning.  The one guy makes it into the control tower for all the robots.

Then, suddenly, Transmorphers turns into the best movie ever made.

The giant tower -- transforms into a super-robot!  Yes!  Yes!  Yes!  This cheapass movie tried to give us something on the scale of Metroplex!

Anyway, the guy with the fuel cell in him walks into a booth, the super robot dies, all the robots die, everyone's like, "Yay!"  The End

You know something?  The tag line for this movie is, "The final battle between man and machines."  And ... the movie shows us the final battle between man and machines.  There is nothing I don't love about this movie.  Everyone is obviously speaking English, but it's dubbed, anyway.  The first ten or fifteen minutes develops a squad of people who die as soon as they go into battle, after which the General character says, "Oh, well.  Promote some more people!"  The General is a woman, by the way, and is married to the protagonist's ex wife!  The protagonist is a guy trying so hard to be Jason Statham it just has to be a joke.  There's a mad scientist character who built himself a sex bot.  The Transmorphers look exactly like those cheapass, tiny, transforming toys you used to buy in plastic bubbles out of gumball machines.  Completely out of nowhere, five female soldiers have a catfight because two of them volunteer for a suicide mission so the other three decide to steal all of their stuff.  "It's not like you're coming back for it (long pause) b***h!"  The fight seems to be rapid-fire editing between about 100 shots of the actresses swinging punches directly at the camera.

There's so much I love about this movie, I can't list it all.  Best bad movie I've seen in ages!

Kneel before Dr. Hell, the ruler of this world!
I survived Bucky Larson
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema

Karma: 368
Posts: 5475

Torgo watches you masterbate!

« Reply #1 on: August 26, 2016, 10:49:09 PM »

I like how this is in the "Good Movies" subforum right by Sharknado 4.  TeddyR

Kubrick, Nolan, Hitchcock, Tarantino, Wan, Iñárritu, Scorsese, Chaplin - the elite

I believe in the international communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
B-Movie Kraken

Karma: 1913
Posts: 11851

A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!

« Reply #2 on: August 27, 2016, 07:06:46 AM »

Now I have to check this out!  ROFL!

"Carpe diem!" - Seize the day!  "Carpe per diem!" - Seize the daily living allowance! "Carpe carp!" - Seize the fish!
"Carpe Ngo Diem!" - Seize the South Vietnamese Dictator!
Pages: [1] Forum  |  Movies  |  Good Movies  |  Transmorphers (2007) « previous next »
    Jump to:  

    RSS Feed Subscribe Subscribe by RSS
    Email Subscribe Subscribe by Email

    Popular Articles
    How To Find A Bad Movie

    The Champions of Justice

    Plan 9 from Outer Space

    Manos, The Hands of Fate

    Podcast: Todd the Convenience Store Clerk

    Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

    Dragonball: The Magic Begins

    Cool As Ice

    The Educational Archives: Driver's Ed

    Godzilla vs. Monster Zero

    Do you have a zombie plan?

    ImageThe Giant Claw - Slime drop

    Earth is visited by a GIANT ANTIMATTER SPACE BUZZARD! Gawk at the amazingly bad bird puppet, or chuckle over the silly dialog. This is one of the greatest b-movies ever made.

    Lesson Learned:
    • Osmosis: os·mo·sis (oz-mo'sis, os-) n., 1. When a bird eats something.

    Subscribe to and get updates by email:

    HOME B-Movie Reviews Reader Reviews Forum Interviews TV Shows Advertising Information Sideshows Links Contact is owned and operated by Andrew Borntreger. All original content is © 1998 - 2014 by its respective author(s). Image, video, and audio files are used in accordance with the Fair Use Law, and are property of the film copyright holders. You may freely link to any page (.html or .php) on this website, but reproduction in any other form must be authorized by the copyright holder.