Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer...

[Derf]

I was only disappointed that I got the yellow sno-cone.


Why won't Alyson Hanigan return my calls?

[AndyC]

I'll roll over and ask her.


What kind of batteries do you put in a vibraphone?

[Raffine]

I'll roll over and ask her.


What kind of batteries do you put in a vibraphone?

C Sharp.

Does this milk smell funny to you?

[Rev. Powell]

Are you sure that is milk?  Milk doesn't usually come from bulls.

How could Beethoven compose great symphonies if he was deaf?

[Sleepyskull]

He didn't! He was writing a novel, but his handwriting was so bad it looked like musical notes and a friend saw it and thought: "Huh! These are some good symphonies!"
The rest is history.

Why didn't the Beatles ever team up with Jerry Lee Lewis to make a musical?

[retrorussell]

Because "Sergeant Pepper's Great Balls Of Fire" didn't sound all that great.

How do you spell relief?

[AndyC]

M-I-C-H-A-E-L-B-A-Y-R-E-T-I-R-E-S


If mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy, what do stallions, bucks and full-grown sheep eat?

[retrorussell]

Each other, since all the oats and ivy are gone.

Alms for an ex-leper?

[Sleepyskull]

Sorry, but no. I only give alms to the pre-poor.

Why does showering feel best in the early morning?

[retrorussell]

It helps wash out the booze smell from last night.

Why are Zingers (the mini-cakes) called Zingers?

[Sleepyskull]

Pingers didn't have the right zing to it.

What is the best way to cook chipmunk tail muscle?

[Derf]

No one knows. Before you can collect enough to cook, you starve to death. It's kinda like that Tootsie Pop conundrum.


Why do people jump to conclusions?

[Rev. Powell]

No one knows. Before you can collect enough to cook, you starve to death. It's kinda like that Tootsie Pop conundrum.


Why do people jump to conclusions?

Why are you directing that question at me?  You're always trying to discredit me somehow.  I must really threaten you.

Why do directors keep casting Nicolas Cage in movies?

[AndyC]

If they don't, they wake up with severed animal heads. It's a Coppola thing.


What the heck is retsyn, and why do I care if I get a glistening drop of it?

[retrorussell]

It's a mix of copper gluconate and partially hydrogenated cottonseed oil, and it makes a refreshing "ding" sound when it's in your mouth.

Why is poop called "stool"?  Isn't that something you sit on in a kitchen?