A.J. Bauer Reviews: THANKSKILLING

Olivia Bauer · March 11, 2011, 08:16:03 PM

"PREPARE TO BE DEAD!!"

I'm going to put that on a T-Shirt!

Olivia Bauer · March 11, 2011, 08:18:54 PM

Necromanced is not a past-tense verb.

Olivia Bauer · March 11, 2011, 08:19:28 PM

Why did the redneck leave alone with a killer turkey around?

Olivia Bauer · March 11, 2011, 08:20:05 PM

The redneck ate the turkey and exploded. That was awesome.

Olivia Bauer · March 11, 2011, 08:20:49 PM

"Gobble-Gobble, Mother f**ker! That's what I call FOWL PLAY!"

I just made that joke twice. No more CSI!

Olivia Bauer · March 11, 2011, 08:23:54 PM

I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING! This movie is SOOO FUNNY!

I can't even point out how many problems are in this scene. Watch it yourself. This movie is quite clearly bad on purpose.

Olivia Bauer · March 11, 2011, 08:25:34 PM

Hmmm.. The homicidal turkey enjoys tossed salad. How very random. I guess we all have our little quirks. Even hell spawn.

Olivia Bauer · March 11, 2011, 08:27:47 PM

Who is turning the lights on and off?

Olivia Bauer · March 11, 2011, 08:29:19 PM

"Yup he's dead!"

Umm... The turkey is still moving.

Olivia Bauer · March 11, 2011, 08:31:16 PM

And the turkey comes back to life via heavy radiation to his corpse. It's like an old monster movie! This is delightful!

Olivia Bauer · March 11, 2011, 08:34:26 PM

Oh! The nerd died by getting his tongue stretched out like gum! That was the funniest thing ever!

And his heart beats outside his chest. AND HE'S STILL ALIVE!

Olivia Bauer · March 11, 2011, 08:36:38 PM

Boyfriend is dead now. KILL THE GIRL! PLEASE! Come full circle!

APPEASE ME WITH BLOOD!!

Olivia Bauer · March 11, 2011, 08:37:32 PM

DAMN! The girl lives!

Olivia Bauer · March 11, 2011, 08:38:38 PM

The Turkey was lit on fire and got his head cut off.

Thanks for ripping off Freddy Vs. Jason.

Olivia Bauer · March 11, 2011, 08:39:19 PM

Good things there was a pile of wood for his head to fall into!