The truly terrible joke thread

[Allhallowsday]

How did MOSES make his tea? 

Hebrews it. 


That joke was bad, but jokes about German sausage are the wurst!

[Chainsawmidget]

I went to my doctor the other day.  I told him, "Doc, every single morning after I wake up I go to the bathroom, look in the mirror, and then i vomit into the sink.  What's wrong with me?"

He said, "I don't know, but it's definitely not your eye sight." 

[indianasmith]

This guy goes to the doctor with food hanging from his nose, his ears, his forehead, and says "Doc, you gotta help me.  I'm hungry all the time!"

Docs sez: "No wonder, you're not eating right!"

[Texdar]

Boobs without nipples are pointless.

[Leah]

So a hooker offered to do anything for $20.00- guess who got his room cleaned!

So when someone at my house if we have a bathroom, I say 'No, we just Sh!t in the yard!'

They say I would miss my family, but I never miss at close range.

[indianasmith]

Dear algebra,

Please quit asking us to "find your x."  It's obvious she's not coming back.  Time to move on!

[Leah]

Dear algebra,

Please quit asking us to "find your x."  It's obvious she's not coming back.  Time to move on!

no, I did find X:

[Chainsawmidget]

So a hooker offered to do anything for $20.00

I met one of those too!  Really though, it wasn't worth it.  Next year I'm going to have to go with a reliable accountant to do my taxes for me. 

[Leah]

Can February March?
No, but April May!

Where do you drown a Hipster?
In the mainstream.

Mexican Jokes and Black Jokes are the same;
Once you heard Juan, you heard Jamal

What do you call a person without a body but with a nose?
Nobody knows!

When I found out that my toaster wasn't waterproof, I was Shocked!

What does a mermaid bring to her math class?
Her algae-bra!

What do you call an alligator in a vest?
an investigator!

What did the buffalo say to his son when he went off to college?
Bison.

A friend showed me a rage comic on the internet, but I already Reddit.

I gave away my dead batteries, free of charge!

I'm so bright, my mum calls me son!!

Change is hard, have you ever tried to bend a coin?!

[indianasmith]

I'm thinking maybe Rihanna should start dating LaBron James.  Everyone knows he can't beat anybody.
(Of course, he wouldn't have any rings to give her!)

[Psycho Circus]

I'm thinking maybe Rihanna should start dating LaBron James.  Everyone knows he can't beat anybody.
(Of course, he wouldn't have any rings to give her!)

Oooh tasteful....tsk, tsk.

[Leah]

I'm thinking maybe Rihanna should start dating LaBron James.  Everyone knows he can't beat anybody.
(Of course, he wouldn't have any rings to give her!)

that reminds me: Rihanna has an IQ of 117. Can you beat her?
Chris Brown: I already did.


20+ years ago, there was sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll.
now there's only AIDs, crack, and techno.

[Raffine]

20+ years ago, there was sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll.
now there's only AIDs, crack, and techno.

Sadly but truthfully - it's more like 40 years ago...

[indianasmith]

When Ronald Reagan was President, we had Johnny Cash and Bob Hope.
Now that Obama is President, we have no cash and no hope.

[JaseSF]

I've seen the same thing but here in Canada, they change the names from Ronald Reagan to Pierre Trudeau and Obama to Stephen Harper.