The truly terrible joke thread

Alex · April 12, 2019, 12:51:32 AM

"Give it to me right now", she yelled."I am so f**king wet right now."

She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.

Alex · April 20, 2019, 06:10:35 AM

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Svengoolie 3 · April 20, 2019, 06:39:20 AM

No one has to die for a Friday to be a good Friday for atheists.

Alex · April 24, 2019, 01:26:20 AM

Alex · April 24, 2019, 01:27:04 AM

Svengoolie 3 · April 26, 2019, 07:30:02 PM

Why does Donald always keep the umbrella to himself when it rains?

It's the only way he can get Melanie wet.

RCMerchant · April 26, 2019, 08:51:55 PM

How many morons does it take to change a light bulb?
3!
1 to hold the bulb and 2 to turn the ladder!

Tiana- "Why don't you fix that leaky roof?"
Me- "Well, when it's raining I can't, and when the sun's shining, It don't leak!"

Alex · May 25, 2019, 10:38:38 AM

Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Candice.

Candice who?

Candice door open, or am I stuck out here?

Alex · May 25, 2019, 10:39:49 AM

Never trust math teachers who use graph paper. They're always plotting something.

Alex · May 25, 2019, 10:40:14 AM

Q: What is the hardest shape to get out of?
A: Tell me.
Q: The trap-azoid.

Alex · May 25, 2019, 10:41:13 AM

What do you call an alligator detective? An investi-gator.

Leah · May 28, 2019, 07:14:39 PM

Have you heard about the film Constipation? No? I'm not surprised, it hasn't come out yet.

Alex · May 31, 2019, 01:00:27 AM

Still reposting my old jokes I see.

Svengoolie 3 · May 31, 2019, 02:06:24 AM

What do you call a guy who's insanely obsessed with large black birds?

A raven maniac.

Allhallowsday · June 04, 2019, 01:37:46 PM

What is the difference between Donald Trump and a Flying Pig????

The "F"