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The Worst VHS Cover Artwork!

Started by TheDope, July 04, 2009, 11:19:54 PM

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wickednick

Quote from: p1zl3 on July 26, 2009, 07:01:47 PM
Quote from: Jim H on July 26, 2009, 02:53:28 PM
What exactly is wrong with Aqua Teen Hunger Force's movie cover?  It's a truly excellent painting by a master of the form, Boris Vallejo.  It just looks silly because they're characters that should never be done realistically - but that's the whole point...  Or was that you being ironic?  I can't tell..

Clearly it's not the craftsmanship or technique of the work (being an artist myself I recognize talent), but the subject matter in general. Nothing depicted on the cover (apart from the four characters) was even remotely close to happening in the picture... there's no dinosaurs... there's no barbarian women riding chopped Harlies... there aren't even any f*cking volcanoes in the movie!!! I realize ATHF is supposed to be asinine, but maybe it does it's job just a little too well...

...If they would have put a robotic-duck or even that stupid laser-shooting poodle, at least it would have been in context! Just because it was the designers intention to be lame, doesn't aleviate it from being such.   

I think you missed the point. Aqua Teen is all about illogical randomness. Very rarely does anything make sense in the show and defiantly not the movie. So really it actually makes sense that the cover for ATHF has no relation to what happens in the movie. Its one of those things you just have to go with. Besides it still doesn't mean that the cover sucks its amazing painting done by one of my favorite artists.
Smells like popcorn and shame

skuts

Looking at some of these covers brings back memories of the sleazy video stores that had a few rows of "legitimate" movies with sun-faded covers in the front of the store while they sold direct-to-video porn in the back. Geez did those places smell, too.
Babies taste best.

retrorussell

Gorgon, Wizard and Continental Video all had the most cheesy artwork on their boxes.. and they were BIG, too!
"O the legend they say, on a Valentine's Day, is a curse that'll live on and on.."

voltron



Also, Video Gems had some poor artwork, but they were nothing compared to Rae Don - a company which specialized in some of the most horrendous movies ever.
"Nothin' out there but God's little creatures - more scared of you than you are of them"  - Warren, "Just Before Dawn"

Leah

yeah no.

Bmeansgood

Quote from: skuts on October 13, 2009, 11:03:37 AM
Looking at some of these covers brings back memories of the sleazy video stores that had a few rows of "legitimate" movies with sun-faded covers in the front of the store while they sold direct-to-video porn in the back. Geez did those places smell, too.

I think this deserves its own topic.  I never understood why some video stores had a certain smell.  And I don't think it was related to the porn.

Joe the Destroyer



Okay, really, that's the best someone could come up with?  This could be the cover for about several thousand movies out there. 



I don't know.  This cover looks awfully terrifying.  I feel like that cabbage patch doll from that Awkward Family Photos pic should be superimposed somewhere on there.



Is his beard made out of steel wool?  He scrubs his victims to death with his hairy chin! 



Oh, that alligator.  He's so great!  He was a big help at the bake sale fundraiser this weekend. 



So, he bashed her on the neck with his bone and somehow caused a contusion?  Sounds pornographic. 



Looks like all Frankenstein's monster wants is a beer. 



...followed by its sequel, "Dracula's Money Shot."  Did he pick that chick up here in Spokane?  Looks like one of our hookers got loose.



She's fleeing in terror from the run-on sentence. 



Jesus loves the little children, all the little children in his soup!



Is that... Jennifer Tilly?  What is she stabbing that's causing the inexplicable blood?

Leah

Quote from: Joe the Destroyer on October 14, 2009, 01:54:16 AM
 



Oh, that alligator.  He's so great!  He was a big help at the bake sale fundraiser this weekend. 

he's a freakin crocodile!
yeah no.

retrorussell

Or would that be a crock?  Sounds like the movie in general..
"O the legend they say, on a Valentine's Day, is a curse that'll live on and on.."

BTM

Quote from: Bmeansgood on October 13, 2009, 10:59:51 PM
Quote from: skuts on October 13, 2009, 11:03:37 AM
Looking at some of these covers brings back memories of the sleazy video stores that had a few rows of "legitimate" movies with sun-faded covers in the front of the store while they sold direct-to-video porn in the back. Geez did those places smell, too.

I think this deserves its own topic.  I never understood why some video stores had a certain smell.  And I don't think it was related to the porn.

Hmmm... weird you should mention that, cause where I live in Southern Illinois most video stores also had tanning salons in them, so they'd have that "tanning" smell.  (Weird cause, I never saw that in video stores in Missouri, maybe it's a local thing, or MO's the exception).  I do remember one video store also did photo development and had one of those movie popcorn makers, so there was a mix of developer and old popcorn in the air.
"Some people mature, some just get older." -Andrew Vachss

SkullBat308

Quote from: BTM on October 14, 2009, 11:57:08 PM
I do remember one video store also did photo development and had one of those movie popcorn makers, so there was a mix of developer and old popcorn in the air.

Yummy :teddyr:
The Human Blood keeps them alive, FOREVER

"Life is a hideous thing, and from the background behind what we know of it peer daemoniacal hints of truth which make it sometimes a thousandfold more hideous." - Lovecraft

Javakoala

Gotta love the artwork on this winner"


Nukie 2


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retrorussell

Looks like a green, retarded gargoyle.

"O the legend they say, on a Valentine's Day, is a curse that'll live on and on.."

Joe the Destroyer