THE BEST MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 riffs

[Trevor]

The Mad Monster

Professor Fitzgerald: [inspecting Dr. Cameron's lab] You seem to be excellently equipped.

Tom: Thank you! I didn't think you could tell through these trousers.

[Trevor]

MST3K shorts (not my shorts)

Speech: Using Your Voice.

Dull actor: "Uhh, well, the fact is we spent many nights in the..err...."
Crow: "Panties!"

[Gabriel Knight]

I recently rewatched MONSTER A GO-GO, by far my favorite episode, and I insist that the best moment in the entire show is when one of the actors makes the phone noise with his mouth. Like, how crappy can a movie get?

[Trevor]

Devil Doll

Crow: "We've arrived at the Knucklehead-Smith residence, Sir."
Tom: [bad guy is carrying the ventriloquist dummy] "Oh, why's he carrying Al Pacino?"

[Trevor]

Bloodlust

[Drunk guy has both his hands on a stuffed lion's head: lion does not look happy]

Crow: "Hey, paws off, pal."

[Trevor]

The Creeping Terror

[the carpet monster is blown up]

Crow [confused]: "Something sort of happened."

[Trevor]

This Island Earth [MST3K The Movie]

[a character's car is blown up with him in it]

Tom: "I regret nothing!"  😅💩🥴🧟‍♂️

[Gabriel Knight]

POD PEOPLE

[a character is attacked by Trumpy and the much welcomed action is suddenly interrupted]

Tom: "oh, enough of that exciting stuff, meanwhile in still yet another movie..."

[Trevor]

POD PEOPLE

[a character is attacked by Trumpy and the much welcomed action is suddenly interrupted]

Tom: "oh, enough of that exciting stuff, meanwhile in still yet another movie..."

[Trevor]

The Screaming Skull

[Jenny throws the skull out the window]
Tom: Alas poor Yorick, she threw him well!


Narrator: "The Screaming Skull" is a motion picture that reaches its climax in shocking horror.
Mike: ...But we cut that.
Narrator: This climax is so terrifying that it may have an unforeseen effect. It may kill you.
Tom: If you watch it in front of a moving bus.

[Trevor]

Bloodlust

[Drunk guy stumbles into the living room]

Tom: "I threw up on your water buffalo, I hope that's OK."

[Rev. Powell]

FIRE MAIDENS OF OUTER SPACE

[Military scientist lights up]
TOM: Say, this really is a JOINT mission!

[As we watch the maidens dance]
JOEL: Excuse me, can we get a table closer to the plot?

[A group of maidens wrestle and tie up their leader]
CROW: Hey, somebody finally filmed my dream!

[Trevor]

CAVEDWELLERS

Some random guy: "You can go on beating me, but......"
Crow: "Knee me in the groin first."

[Trevor]

TERROR FROM THE YEAR 5000

[a car pulls up to a building in a very badly lit shot]

Crow: "Filmed in glorious black and slightly less black." 

[Trevor]

THE UNDEAD

[shot of a barren landscape / forest]

Tom: "You know, this forest could use a plant."