The truly terrible joke thread

Svengoolie 3 · January 24, 2019, 09:56:54 AM

In germany what we call the "alt right" is what they call "Why grandpa had to move to Argentina."

Alex · January 27, 2019, 10:16:49 AM

Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?

Everytime she reaches 69 she gets a frog in her throat.

Alex · January 27, 2019, 10:17:14 AM

What gets longer when pulled, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked?

A seatbelt.

Alex · January 27, 2019, 10:19:51 AM

What do you call it when Batman skips church?

Christian Bale.

Alex · January 27, 2019, 10:22:46 AM

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.

Svengoolie 3 · January 27, 2019, 02:17:53 PM

How can you tell when an alien is really tired?

He has dark crop circles under his eyes.

Svengoolie 3 · January 29, 2019, 05:41:18 PM

Donald trump stands in front of a cowd of his followers in Alabama and says "My administration in just 2 years has 37 indictments and 4 convictions. That's 37 more indictments and 4 more convictions than that loser, sad Obama, had in his entire 8 year adminstration! "

The audience cheered wildly.

indianasmith · January 29, 2019, 06:22:02 PM

Why can't little Timmy play baseball?
Because he has no arms or legs.

Knock Knock!
Who's there?

Not little Timmy!!

(This one is strangely popular with my junior high kids of late)

Svengoolie 3 · January 29, 2019, 10:14:13 PM

Quote from: indianasmith on January 29, 2019, 06:22:02 PM
Why can't little Timmy play baseball?
Because he has no arms or legs.

Knock Knock!
Who's there?

Not little Timmy!!

(This one is strangely popular with my junior high kids of late)

They'v found a copy of "the official book of sick jokes."

Yes, I had it.

https://www.amazon.com/Official-Book-Sick-Jokes/dp/0523405685

indianasmith · January 29, 2019, 11:10:13 PM

Here is another one they like:

"Why did little Bobby drop his ice cream cone?"

"Because he got hit by a truck!"

Svengoolie 3 · January 30, 2019, 01:16:36 AM

Quote from: indianasmith on January 29, 2019, 11:10:13 PM
Here is another one they like:

"Why did little Bobby drop his ice cream cone?"

"Because he got hit by a truck!"

Sounds like the official book of sick jokes is in print again....

Have they started on Little Willies yet?

Alex · January 30, 2019, 07:58:48 AM

My girlfriend was complaining last night that I never listen to her. Or something like that...

Alex · January 30, 2019, 08:01:49 AM

The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.

Alex · January 30, 2019, 08:02:25 AM

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

Leah · January 30, 2019, 08:51:32 AM

I worked in a can crushing industry. It was soda pressing