The truly terrible joke thread

pacman000 · September 10, 2024, 08:27:50 AM

Knock! Knock!

OW!!!

Why is there a nail in your door?

zombie no.one · September 10, 2024, 09:35:39 AM

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

Say you'll tell them the answer to that question, but that you'll delay revealing what it is until the following day.

indianasmith · September 10, 2024, 06:14:35 PM

What has two butts and kills people?

An ass-ass-in!

What letter will calm down a pirate?

"P" - without it, he's just "irate!"

pacman000 · September 24, 2024, 11:46:57 AM

"Do you have the time?"

"No; I think you can get a copy at the newsstand over there."

claws · September 24, 2024, 12:08:20 PM

Why don't skeletons fight each other?

Because they don't have the guts!

RCMerchant · September 24, 2024, 01:08:01 PM

What's the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang a painting of Jesus.

indianasmith · September 24, 2024, 05:37:16 PM

What do you call a teacher who never farts in public?

A private tutor!

pacman000 · September 25, 2024, 07:07:35 AM

Fox went out on a chilly night
Prayed for the moon to give him light
For he had many miles to go that night
Before he reached the town

He should've stopped at Dollar General; it was much closer.