COVID-19 Humor

[indianasmith]

I prefer "Coronials."

[ER]

That one's great!

[RCMerchant]

[claws]

[chefzombie]

true story from this afternoon. my niece called,SCREAMING! after 30 seconds or so, i got her to calm down enough to tell me that one of the 8 children she is trapped with had locked the door to the ONLY bathroom in the house and then closed it. TOTAL PANIC!!!!
  i couldn't help it, i laid the phone down and seriously fell out laughing for a solid 60 seconds! then i told her how to take the doorknob apart, while still laughing hysterically. she may never speak to me again. but the bathroom's open!

[lester1/2jr]

[indianasmith]

Breaking news: Finland has closed its border!

Now no one can cross the Finnish line.

[sprite75]

Hate to burst anyone's bubble but this is not me working from home.

I have a leather chair at home so my ass would be stuck to the chair after about 15 minutes if I did that. 

[Alex]

Hmm, anyone know how I can resize this so its a bit smaller?

[Alex]

[Rev. Powell]

http://youtu.be/KufYNh-DLLk

[Trevor]

If this Covid 19 nonsense isn't bad enough, we're soon going to have a water shortage here with all the people washing hands and other body parts over and over. 

[ER]

I got to thinking my earlier joke was a little mean, so I changed it. How about this?



What's the difference between the coronavirus and a naked female breast?

Harvey Weinstein will have contact with one of these this year.

[sprite75]

Yeah I know satire.  But still, LOL

Health Minister de Block announced today that, effective immediately, "non-essential" sexual activities of 3 people or more are banned in Belgium to combat the spread of COVID-19.

De Block said she was forced to act swiftly because of Belgium's reputation as being the "beer-drinking" and "group sex capital of Europe."

Health minister De Block did not ban single or two-person sexual practices such as masturbation, anal or oral sex, or even bestiality.

"These measures apply only to human-to-human sexual contact, not human-to-animal contact," she added when questioned about bestiality by reporters.

[ER]

Yeah I know satire.  But still, LOL

Health Minister de Block announced today that, effective immediately, "non-essential" sexual activities of 3 people or more are banned in Belgium to combat the spread of COVID-19.

De Block said she was forced to act swiftly because of Belgium's reputation as being the "beer-drinking" and "group sex capital of Europe."

Health minister De Block did not ban single or two-person sexual practices such as masturbation, anal or oral sex, or even bestiality.

"These measures apply only to human-to-human sexual contact, not human-to-animal contact," she added when questioned about bestiality by reporters.

(for real?)