Demented Kid's Films

[Mighty Atomic Pikachu]

I know this has been brought up before, but I'd like to investigate the realm of kid's films that are just plain wEiRd with a capital 'W' and/or a bit disturbing.  My picks:

Pinocchio And The Emperor Of The Night

Pokemon: The First Movie

Rainbow Brite And The Star Stealers

Kingdom Chums

Santa Claus Conquers The Martians

Pet Shop (bad, bad)

Warriors Of Virtue (super STINKY bad)

Beanstalk (UGH!)

Catnapped! (this one is fun)

One-Eyed, One-Horned, Flying Purple Peopleater (this is actually the title)

[Chris K.]

Have you ever seen Herschell Gordon Lewis' two childrens film JIMMY THE BOY WONDER (1966) and THE MAGIC LAND OF MOTHER GOOSE (1967)? But, they are good and entertaining. Just don't see why people call them bad. H.G. Lewis' childrens films are worthy of 100% entertainment. Too bad they don't make them like they used to. Now we have s**tty childrens films like BABY GENEUSES and POKEMON: THE FIRST MOVIE that make our kids a bunch of ignorant morons (not to be crude with my statement, but that is just how I feel).

[Brock]

Care Bears II: The Next Generation.
Land Before Time 2 through 37.
Wizards of the Lost Kingdom.
Storybook.
Timmy the Tuba (Creepy claymation short?)

[Greywizard, The Unknown Movies]

This week at The Unknown Movies, I reviewed the demented kiddie film JIMMY, THE BOY WONDER, which you can read at:

http://www.badmovieplanet.com/unknownmovies/reviews/rev283.html

[Boz824]

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[C. Hill]

Don't forget about Jack Frost.  No, I'm not talking about the Michael Keaton movie, the killer snowman flick, or the Rankin-Bass thing.  Of course that leaves only the Russo-Finnish co-production of Jack Frost.  I'm not sure if this film's dementedness can be accredited to the fact that it's foreign or if it really is just totally insane.  Anyway, it's one of my favorite MST3K episodes and I really wish SciFi would show it again.

Also worthy of mention I think would be The Brave Little Toaster.  I'm not quite sure why, but this movie disturbed the hell outta me when I was a kid.

[Mofo Rising]

Let's see, at one of the video stores in my home town there was a blank box inscribed with the cryptic words THE ELECTRIC GRANDMOTHER.  It was bright yellow and there were no pictures or description on the back.  That was plainly situated in the kids section.  I always found that vaguely creepy.  (Note: I dimly recall seeing this show on Nickelodeon when I was a kid, but I remember next to none of the details.)

Not really a movie, but the SUPERBOOK series that shows up on the Christian channel at three in the morning is pretty disturbing.  As the message of the show bizarrely puts it, be Christian or die.

All I can think of for now.

[Abby]

Electric Grandmother is really "I Sing The Body Electric" by Ray Bradbury. That same story has also been adapted into a Twilight Zone episode or two, but the Maureen Stapleton version is superior, if kitschy.

'Mad Monster Party' completely freaked me out when I was four years old. That last scene where the guy's head pops off and he starts stuttering gave me nightmares for weeks ... I never forgot that movie. Then again, Willy Wonka frightened me in a similar fashion.

[Chadzilla]

Wizards of the Lost Kingdom seems to be an insane children's film.  My kid loved it though, so did I come to think of it.

I liked Dragonworld one of Charles Band's Moonbeam movies.  Ditto Johnny Mysto, Boy Magician (or whatever).

If I may put in a vote for a "good" children's film then see The Iron Giant, it is great!

[Stupid Jacob]

The only one I can think of is Batman Beyond:Return of the Joker. What happens to Tim Drake is insane. Good movie.

[Warren H.]

What about the Littlest Vampire, released recently.  It falls under my category of "Who the Hell Funded This?"  A children's movie with flying vampire cows with horrible, glowing red eyes.  Nasty looking vampires, also with glowing, red eyes.  Its message of, "It's great to be a (undead, pasty-grey, fanged, blood-drinking) vampire!"  And the ultra-cheap production values that wouldn't convince a 6 month old that the action was occurring anywhere but on a cheap set.
But most of all . . . the cows man, brr.

[Nathan]

Hey, all I can say is that my sister took my three-year-old to see this, and he still has giggly flashbacks to the vampire cows.

Nathan

[Nathan]

...Especially considering some of its Moonbeam Entertainment compatriots (anyone who can sit through all three Prehysteria flicks is just plain non-human).  Beanstalk had at least a modicum of wit, and Margot Kidder was obviously having a ball in her over-the-top mad scientist performance.

I've got a full review at http://www.coldfusionvideo.com/b/beanstalk.html

Nathan

[peter johnson]

The single worst kid's film I ever saw as a kid was "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" -- and I still love Dick Van Dyke as an actor --:  Bad songs(Very bad songs!), stupid story, bad music -- did I mention unlistenably bad songs?  I ran from the theatre at one point and just hung out at the concession stand, going back into the theatre to see if they'd stopped singing.  I know I was around 9 or 10, based on my memories of the kids I was with.
As a child, my English mother read aloud to me the real Mary Poppins and Dr. Dolittle, so I naturally despised these movies as well.  Where is it written in stone that childrens' movies MUST have atrocious songs and wierdly uninteresting dance numbers?  I don't recall either of these things (Singing and dancing) taking place in the wonderful books these abominations were based upon.Nathan wrote:
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[Inukko]

Clockmaker... hehe.

"Don't fuss with me, kid!"  "Fuss with THIS!"