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Author Topic: RECENT VIEWINGS (Bad Movie Thread!)  (Read 6986 times)
LilCerberus
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« Reply #15 on: December 09, 2023, 11:06:58 PM »

Finally got around to throwing together a haphazard list, not necessarily in any order.....

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLyXYmfdRkTcOXDrjrvitSrj0-2_tZjOXN&si=D6F8RMD_c1_z23Am
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« Reply #16 on: December 10, 2023, 04:42:44 AM »

Mortal thoughts (1991) - My Demi fest came to a halt with this dud. At it's best it's like a Lifetime movie, at it's worst it's like the re enactment parts of an ID channel "Evil Lives at Home" thing. Harvey Keitel is the only bright spot.

The whole thing feels like an acting class for Demi Moore, who plays some kind of Italian working class "old naybahood" person whose best friend marries a jerk played by Bruce Willis. Bruce does his best, but his frat guy wiseass thing doesn't really work as an Italian cokehead wife beater. It never really gets moving or sprouts it's wings or does whatever a movie is supposed to do. Ending was okay if heavy handed. IMDB rates it higher than it deserves so perhaps some people connected with the sad characters it portrayed in whatever place this is. Da bronx???

2.25 / 5
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zombie no.one
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« Reply #17 on: December 14, 2023, 12:59:24 PM »

PRIMAL RAGE (1988)

Q: what do you do when a mutant monkey in your college's science lab bites you on the wrist?
A: go on an absolutely insane freakout rampage that lasts forever.

Decent but nowhere near as good as the following year's NIGHTMARE BEACH , with whom it shares writers and a couple of actors.

One of the writers, James Justice, went under the alias Harry Kirkpatrick... If I had a readymade movie blockbuster sounding name like 'James Justice' I probably wouldn't be thinking about going around as 'Harry Kirkpatrick'
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Dr. Whom
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« Reply #18 on: December 14, 2023, 03:47:58 PM »

Missile to the Moon (1958)

A rogue scientist launches an improptu expedition to the Moon with an improvised crew. There they come across one of those civilisations made up exclusively by pretty girls (and one matriach).

This is a remake of Cat Women of the Moon. The plot is rather better thought out, with much more incident and motivation (not that this is saying very much, mind you). The execution, however is quite on a par of the original, including the goofy moon spider. Special mention to the Lunar Rock Monsters who make the Tabanga look like a cheetah.
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"Once you get past a certain threshold, everyone's problems are the same: fortifying your island and hiding the heat signature from your fusion reactor."

Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! ... Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput.
M.10rda
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« Reply #19 on: December 15, 2023, 11:07:44 PM »

LEAVE THE WORLD BEHIND (2023):
I started to review this days ago, lost my review during a crash/reboot, and in the meanwhile Indiana Smith gave it a 5/5 in the "Good Movies" section. Lester 1/2 then called it "Julia Roberts frowns for 3 hours" iirc correctly. I was on the fence after watching it, but since Indiana has come out full in-favor, I'll devote equal time to the argument that LEAVE THE WORLD BEHIND is at times the worst kind of bad movie, dressed up as Oscar bait.

Alright, the positive stuff for a moment: It's pretty bleak for a mainstream apocalypse flick... not quite Michael Haneke-level bleak, but there's very little hope for society's salvation at the end. It's got some exceptionally nice cinematography and a great deal of suspense. And it's got a good performance from an actor I'm mostly agnostic about (Kevin Bacon), two acceptable performances from actors I generally dislike (Mahershala Ali and Ethan Hawke, the latter well-cast as a clammy, colorless pile of mush whose name is actually "Clay"), and a very good performance from an actor I'm otherwise unfamiliar with (Myha'la). Those elements should probably tip the balance to a favorable rating, in the case of most films. But.

After some reflection, I can limit my serious reservations about LEAVE THE WORLD BEHIND to three things, but they're... significant liabilities. Oddly, the three intersect at various times and compound each other's irritations. The first is the soundtrack, full of wholly inappropriate pop, rock, hip hop, and R&B selections that are often wholly discordant w/ the film's grim tone. The two most egregious eruptions of inappropriate or just plain bad music exacerbate the film's second and third liabilities. #2: Hawke's thirteen-year old daughter is preoccupied for nearly the entire film not with the collapse of humanity and civilization around her, but merely by the indignity of being unable to stream the series finale of 90s TV's appalling "Friends". This reads as dark satire at points, but writer/director Sam Esmail invests way too much time and dramatic focus on the daughter's petty anguish, and in fact (SPOILER?) the film ends with the resolution of her ludicrous subplot. Okay, fine, but - did he also need to subject us to The Rembrandts' insufferable "I'll Be There For You" over the closing credits?!  Buggedout Hatred

Fortunately, LTWB isn't capable of sinking lower than such schmaltz, right? Sigh... #3: Julia Roberts, who I dislike more than Mahershala Ali but less (on a good day) than Ethan Hawke, plays a sour-faced Karen who's prone to (over)long soliloquys about her distaste for humanity. Okay, I admit, she's convincing, if not sympathetic! Naturally, the smartest thing possible that Esmail could do to help Roberts win the audience's affections is to... indulge her in a two-plus minute long scene where she plays hilariously improbable funk-R&B and then dances to seduce (?!) Ali's character. Oh wait... no, that wasn't a smart move at all. What was Esmail possibly thinking? What, for that matter, were producers Barack and Michelle Obama (who most assuredly know what real dancing looks like) thinking when they greenlighted this travesty against music and movement? Elaine Benes looks like Salome in contrast to Roberts. This is  one of the most awkward, least appealing, most uncomfortable scenes I've watched in any film since I stopped queuing torture porn.

5/5? No. For that third grievance alone... I think I must allow 2/5 at best.
I sincerely hope there are Razzies in this film's future.
Julia Roberts should never be allowed to dance onscreen again.
« Last Edit: December 16, 2023, 12:10:10 PM by M.10rda » Logged
zombie no.one
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« Reply #20 on: December 16, 2023, 10:30:26 AM »

That FRIENDS plot line sounds absurd. (and I actually quite liked the show)
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claws
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« Reply #21 on: December 16, 2023, 11:30:48 AM »


I sincerely hope there are Razzies in this film's future.


So far critics seem to like it, reviews are positive. I didn't know it was a Netflix movie though, but I'm not surprised either.

The Razzies usually nominate movies that are disliked on social media.
« Last Edit: December 16, 2023, 11:33:17 AM by claws » Logged

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zombie no.one
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« Reply #22 on: December 20, 2023, 05:49:40 PM »

DOWN aka THE SHAFT (2001)

Possessed evil elevator. directed by same guy who did THE LIFT

insanely daft to the point of being quite watchable. dumb everything. very sweary. apparently no main character. Why is Naomi Watts in it, she came from MULHOLLAND DRIVE to this? I prefer THE DARK TOWER (1987), which is also crap, but in a better way. (and what was Jenny Agutter doing in that?)
« Last Edit: December 20, 2023, 06:04:36 PM by zombie no.one » Logged

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claws
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« Reply #23 on: December 21, 2023, 05:12:01 AM »

she came from MULHOLLAND DRIVE to this?

The original, The Lift (1983), is an award-winning Dutch cult movie. Director Dick Maas put himself on the map with the acclaimed Amsterdamned (1988).
By the time he remade his own movie The Lift as The Shaft (or Down), Dick Maas had a successful run in movies and TV (though mostly in the Netherlands).
I guess when Naomi Watts signed up for The Shaft she probably thought she was in good hands. After all, Maas made one of the most successful movies in Dutch box office history, Flodders (1986). But yeah, he couldn't capture the spirit and fun of his own movie when he remade The Lift for an international audience.
« Last Edit: December 24, 2023, 07:33:40 AM by claws » Logged

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M.10rda
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« Reply #24 on: December 21, 2023, 09:51:43 AM »

Watts shot much of MULHOLLAND in '98 or '99 as a TV pilot, which didn't get picked up. Lynch secured Le Canal + money to expand it to a longer feature and brought Watts back for the (new) last 40 minutes. It wasn't released until Fall '01 so she'd obviously signed on to do THE SHAFT well before that and maybe it even premiered in Europe before MULHOLLAND. Watts had done TANK GIRL (she's great) and other stuff even ahead of MULHOLLAND. I haven't seen it but THE SHAFT also features James Marshall from TWIN PEAKS, Ron Perlman, and other folks. You could pick worse co-stars!
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Dr. Whom
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« Reply #25 on: December 24, 2023, 05:06:36 AM »

Violent Night

This is basically Die Hard with Santa Claus. It starts out as an irreverent, foul mouthed and at times gory take on Santa Claus, but then occasionally switches to a family-friendly Disney approved celebration of the Christmas spirit, including a Tinkerbell moment. Both parts undercut each other, so the effect is lost. Kudos to David Harbour for his bad Santa, but if you want an entertaining chase movie set in a mansion of the rich and the privileged, watch Ready or Not instead.
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"Once you get past a certain threshold, everyone's problems are the same: fortifying your island and hiding the heat signature from your fusion reactor."

Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! ... Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput.
zombie no.one
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Oookaay...


« Reply #26 on: December 24, 2023, 07:15:43 AM »

I haven't seen it but THE SHAFT also features James Marshall from TWIN PEAKS, Ron Perlman, and other folks. You could pick worse co-stars!

it's entertaining enough but very intentionally dorky, which could grate depending on your tolerance levels

Director Dick Maas put himself on the map with the acclaimed Amsterdamned (1988).


enjoyed AMSTERDAMNED, didn't realise that was him. the original THE LIFT is pretty good. there's a hilarious scene around the breakfast table with the dad telling his son about the birds + bees
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zombie no.one
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Oookaay...


« Reply #27 on: December 24, 2023, 07:17:48 AM »

forgot which thread this was brought up in or who mentioned / recommended it, but I watched PARTS: THE CLONUS HORROR (1979) the other night. solid 70s b-movie horror... someone should make a youtube clip of all the times the word "America" is said in the film
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M.10rda
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« Reply #28 on: December 24, 2023, 08:48:09 AM »

Violent Night

This is basically Die Hard with Santa Claus. It starts out as an irreverent, foul mouthed and at times gory take on Santa Claus, but then occasionally switches to a family-friendly Disney approved celebration of the Christmas spirit, including a Tinkerbell moment. Both parts undercut each other, so the effect is lost. Kudos to David Harbour for his bad Santa, but if you want an entertaining chase movie set in a mansion of the rich and the privileged, watch Ready or Not instead.

Amen!  Cheers
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claws
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« Reply #29 on: December 24, 2023, 11:29:27 AM »

Violent Night

This is basically Die Hard with Santa Claus. It starts out as an irreverent, foul mouthed and at times gory take on Santa Claus, but then occasionally switches to a family-friendly Disney approved celebration of the Christmas spirit, including a Tinkerbell moment. Both parts undercut each other, so the effect is lost. Kudos to David Harbour for his bad Santa, but if you want an entertaining chase movie set in a mansion of the rich and the privileged, watch Ready or Not instead.

This looks like to be the must-see movie of the season? On other message boards I visit, it's like on everyone's "just watched" list.

Bought the Blu-ray last February, but I have no desire to watch this yet. Maybe after the holidays.
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