Descriptions of Bad Movies that don't exist

[chainsaw midget]

"It's a murder mystery without a clear mystery and no real murder.  It does however have a cowboy and a singing donkey for some reason nobody can explain, so if you want to watch a movie with a singing donkey and a group of people trying to solve the world's flimsiest mystery about where a guy was killed (If he was kill.  He wasn't.) then by all means go ahead."

[Alex]

This movie is a feast for the eyes. Unfortunately, it is also an offense to the brain and terrible on your ears.

[lester1/2jr]

Another found footage non-gem from Tubi. Four friends, including one trans one, go on a trip to a "cabin in the woods" . As they drunkenly stumble through the forest they come upon 4 boxes. Each of their names are written respectively on them and eventually one of them works up the nerve to open theirs. No reviews on IMDB yet

[ER]

....Helena Ramsey's acting range in Straw Hats for God's Children goes from Z to Z, out-shined at every turn by her co-star, a stuffed Llama named Bruce.

[lester1/2jr]

hilarious tubi documentary about armpits and how they have been viewed throughout history and around the world. In the Canary Islands you can be killed for having bad armpit odor, but in certain Italian villages the odor is seen as exemplary and even influences the local cuisine.

[zombie no.one]

Well it began... it ended... and somewhere in between I guess there was a middle. However, in an unexpected stroke of genius from the director, there was also a final third.

[Alex]

A four hour mediation on one shade of the colour blue is certainly something to behold.

[zombie no.one]

A four hour mediation on one shade of the colour blue is certainly something to behold.

The director's cut of this?

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106438/?ref_=nm_flmg_t_17_dr


"a lush soundscape pulsing against a purely blue screen"

[Alex]

A four hour mediation on one shade of the colour blue is certainly something to behold.

The director's cut of this?

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106438/?ref_=nm_flmg_t_17_dr


"a lush soundscape pulsing against a purely blue screen"

Wrong shade of blue I'm afraid. 

[chainsaw midget]

A four hour mediation on one shade of the colour blue is certainly something to behold.

Da ba dee da ba di
Da ba dee da ba di

[ER]

"...and Robin Williams as everyone's favorite Easter Bunny!"

[ER]

"....Howard Stern as the ghost of Howard Cosell...."

[Trevor]

Teenage Mutant Ninja Toxic Underpants Turtles: the pizza tastes like 💩 and the undies are full of it 😳😉🐢

[Dr. Whom]

A four hour mediation on one shade of the colour blue is certainly something to behold.

Hooloovoo, the movie

[chainsaw midget]

This movie is like mixing spaghetti and icecream.  They're both good, but trying to stick them together ruins everything.  There's nothing wrong about making a drama that's a metaphor for how a woman's life changes after she has a baby.  However attaching it to a movie with a chicken-man who has a chainsaw probabaly wasn't the best idea.