You Know What Really Grinds My Gears?

[Couchtr26]

I hate HATE HATE this!!

People with large trucks that like to park in TWO spots! Last time somebody did that to me I used the back of truck as a garbage bin. If I EVER see another damn truck parked like that again as long as I live I'M GOING POP IT'S [EXPLATIVE] TIRES!!

Going on a similar note I hate driving a small car and people in large trucks tend to pull up in such a way you can't see past them.  Come on, I have to see to drive people.  Sorry, had to wait ten minutes to make a turn earlier. 

[Olivia Bauer]

I also hate modern comedy films. Basically anything with Seth Rogan. Talking about boobs, booze, STDs, genitals, and sex for an hour and a half is in no way entertaining. The people who make that garbage and people who watch it are the reason our society is degenerating into morons that don't know how to spell. When I think of that kind of degenerate it makes me consider genoside a good idea.

Also, it's "genocide" with a "c."

  WHAT?! THAT'S WHAT I WROTE!  

Oops.. I was wrong...  

[Olivia Bauer]

I also hate...

*People who put toilet paper on the toilet seat then p**s all over it and forget to take it off.

*People who think Napoleon Dynamite is funny (You need to die) Sorry. I shouldn't attack people for their opinions...

*People who smoke in casinos (I have asthma. It's REALLY REALLY annoying.)

*People who think I have a bad taste in movies because I don't like garbage like "The Benchwarmers".

*People who draw inappropriate (and unfunny) things on bathroom stalls.

[ulthar]

I hate HATE HATE this!!

People with large trucks that like to park in TWO spots! Last time somebody did that to me I used the back of truck as a garbage bin. If I EVER see another damn truck parked like that again as long as I live I'M GOING POP IT'S [EXPLATIVE] TIRES!!

As annoying and utterly stupid as it is to park like that, YOU will be the one to get arrested for Damage To Property if you take that action and get caught.

I do understand the urge and the ire, but to me, it's just not worth paying a fine on top of what easily could be more than $200 per tire for a truck.

On a related note, I find it totally amazing how much energy we all seem to put into to 'attempts' to control other people's behavior - how they park (are there not other spaces to park?), what movies they like or dislike, etc.  Turning that energy of criticism inward is MUCH harder to do.

What Gears to WE Grind in others on a daily basis?

[Flick James]

I hate HATE HATE this!!

People with large trucks that like to park in TWO spots! Last time somebody did that to me I used the back of truck as a garbage bin. If I EVER see another damn truck parked like that again as long as I live I'M GOING POP IT'S [EXPLATIVE] TIRES!!

As annoying and utterly stupid as it is to park like that, YOU will be the one to get arrested for Damage To Property if you take that action and get caught.

I do understand the urge and the ire, but to me, it's just not worth paying a fine on top of what easily could be more than $200 per tire for a truck.

On a related note, I find it totally amazing how much energy we all seem to put into to 'attempts' to control other people's behavior - how they park (are there not other spaces to park?), what movies they like or dislike, etc.  Turning that energy of criticism inward is MUCH harder to do.

What Gears to WE Grind in others on a daily basis?

I completely agree with your point, especially that last bit about how self-criticism is something that people find difficult to do, but that the world at large would benefit from.

However, I wonder how serious A.J. was about that statement. I started this thread in the spirit of catharsis. An opportunity for people to vent frustrations, and people who care to read them can choose to commiserate, disagree, or just not care. Sometimes it creates fierce debates (Skull and I's debate on drug prohibition got a bit our of control), but overall I've appreciated how much everyone has kept to the general spirit of the thread.

So, yes, I would agree that the action A.J. proposed is ill-advised, but, again, I don't know how serious he was or if he was just venting retaliatory thoughts like we all do.

[AndyC]

What Gears to WE Grind in others on a daily basis?

I'm not sure many people could answer that question. A good many of these behaviours are things people do because they just don't know any better, they don't think about the consequences of their actions, or they don't understand that they are genuinely bothering people. And many of these things bother us because they are things we are careful not to do, and if we knew we were doing something to bother other people, we'd probably try to avoid doing it.

Not saying we don't grind other people's gears, just that we probably wouldn't be aware of it.

[Umaril The Unfeathered]

What Gears to WE Grind in others on a daily basis?

I'm not sure many people could answer that question. A good many of these behaviours are things people do because they just don't know any better, they don't think about the consequences of their actions, or they don't understand that they are genuinely bothering people. And many of these things bother us because they are things we are careful not to do, and if we knew we were doing something to bother other people, we'd probably try to avoid doing it.

Not saying we don't grind other people's gears, just that we probably wouldn't be aware of it.

Ohh, there were some gears ground today, brother, and the people made their voices heard. Here's the 411 on today's gear grinder:

The snow's comin' down pretty good where I am, and the local school system decided to have school today. And it created a traffic jam: 2 school buses were trapped and had to be pulled out by the local DOT, who also made a bigger jam due to where they put the snow after they plowed it.

Traffic was backed up on my street and in the downtown area about 200' downhill and away, there was a LOT of hornblowing and yelling. A lot of good names aimed at the schoolboard for refusing to take a snow day, too. If the local police weren't there, God knows what would have happened!

[AndyC]

What Gears to WE Grind in others on a daily basis?

I'm not sure many people could answer that question. A good many of these behaviours are things people do because they just don't know any better, they don't think about the consequences of their actions, or they don't understand that they are genuinely bothering people. And many of these things bother us because they are things we are careful not to do, and if we knew we were doing something to bother other people, we'd probably try to avoid doing it.

Not saying we don't grind other people's gears, just that we probably wouldn't be aware of it.

Ohh, there were some gears ground today, brother, and the people made their voices heard. Here's the 411 on today's gear grinder:

The snow's comin' down pretty good where I am, and the local school system decided to have school today. And it created a traffic jam: 2 school buses were trapped and had to be pulled out by the local DOT, who also made a bigger jam due to where they put the snow after they plowed it.

Traffic was backed up on my street and in the downtown area about 200' downhill and away, there was a LOT of hornblowing and yelling. A lot of good names aimed at the schoolboard for refusing to take a snow day, too. If the local police weren't there, God knows what would have happened!

But how does that pertain to what I said? You were p**sed off by somebody else, not the other way around.

[ulthar]

Andy, I hear ya, and I get the catharsis mode of this thread.  In a way, that's what I was doing, too.

It Grinds My Gears when people use overly violent or harsh language to describe what in the grand scheme of things is a pretty mundane annoyance.  An annoyance to be sure, but not really a big deal when we step back from it.

To my mind, we cross some line when we go from "this ticks me off and I want to vent" to making a claim of willful violence against another just because of being annoyed.  I've long said that the highways of America would be FAR more safe and courteous if it were "legal" to shoot another driver for cutting you off or doing some other "rude" act.  In many cases, given the danger of aggressive driving, that level of violence COULD be argued to be justified - but I always get strange looks when I say that.

I wonder why?   

Anyhow, my comment about us grinding the gears of others was meant more for those cases in which we DO know we are doing something annoying, but choose to do it anyway for whatever selfish reason.  Are you telling me that the person who steals the parking space of another, grabs the last six-pack of diet coke on the shelf (even though another was reaching for it) or any of the behaviors listed in this thread does not KNOW they are doing something annoying?

I'd bet in over 80% of the cases, they DO know...and they just don't care.

And I'd further bet that all of us complaining about it do likewise - everyday.  We KNOW we are being rude or annoying and do so anyway because "this time, I was in a hurry" or insert your own convenient, self-rationalizing excuse.

Civil behavior is hard work and takes conscious effort.  It may even be an unnatural state for homo sapiens; I wonder about that sometimes.

[Umaril The Unfeathered]

What Gears to WE Grind in others on a daily basis?

I'm not sure many people could answer that question. A good many of these behaviours are things people do because they just don't know any better, they don't think about the consequences of their actions, or they don't understand that they are genuinely bothering people. And many of these things bother us because they are things we are careful not to do, and if we knew we were doing something to bother other people, we'd probably try to avoid doing it.

Not saying we don't grind other people's gears, just that we probably wouldn't be aware of it.

Ohh, there were some gears ground today, brother, and the people made their voices heard. Here's the 411 on today's gear grinder:

The snow's comin' down pretty good where I am, and the local school system decided to have school today. And it created a traffic jam: 2 school buses were trapped and had to be pulled out by the local DOT, who also made a bigger jam due to where they put the snow after they plowed it.

Traffic was backed up on my street and in the downtown area about 200' downhill and away, there was a LOT of hornblowing and yelling. A lot of good names aimed at the schoolboard for refusing to take a snow day, too. If the local police weren't there, God knows what would have happened!

But how does that pertain to what I said? You were p**sed off by somebody else, not the other way around.

True, and Ulthar has set up the answer to your question when he posted this:

What Gears to WE Grind in others on a daily basis?

 

The people who were doing the yelling and screaming don't realize that they were grinding other peoples' gears by blaming the bus drivers and the DOT for the traffic jam, something they couldn't predict or control in bad weather.

That's a good and fairly daily example of how WE can definitely grind OTHER peoples' gears, by blaming them for circumstances beyond their control.  Hope that helps.

[Flick James]

I don't know. If I expressed some frustration related to vehicles on this thread and followed up by saying I think I'm going to slash the tires of the next person who offends me, I'm messing around and don't mean it a bit. So because I practice catharsis I assume most others do to. I could be wrong, though.

[Umaril The Unfeathered]

I don't know. If I expressed some frustration related to vehicles on this thread and followed up by saying I think I'm going to slash the tires of the next person who offends me, I'm messing around and don't mean it a bit. So because I practice catharsis I assume most others do to. I could be wrong, though.

I think a lot more people practice it than we know. It's a release of your frustration, and it's only a thought, not an action. When it becomes an action, then that's when you have to realize the possible consequences of that action.  I think we've all been tempted to take matters into our own hands, only to have common sense hit us at the last minute, which is a good thing.   

[AndyC]

Anyhow, my comment about us grinding the gears of others was meant more for those cases in which we DO know we are doing something annoying, but choose to do it anyway for whatever selfish reason.  Are you telling me that the person who steals the parking space of another, grabs the last six-pack of diet coke on the shelf (even though another was reaching for it) or any of the behaviors listed in this thread does not KNOW they are doing something annoying?

I'd bet in over 80% of the cases, they DO know...and they just don't care.

And I'd further bet that all of us complaining about it do likewise - everyday.  We KNOW we are being rude or annoying and do so anyway because "this time, I was in a hurry" or insert your own convenient, self-rationalizing excuse.

But that's just it. We might do those things, but in our own minds, we're justified. Same as the people who annoy us. They make their own excuses, and come up with their own reasons why we have no business being annoyed by them. I don't think people generally set out to annoy others on a day-to-day basis. They either honestly believe they're entitled to do these things, or they've convinced themselves one way or another that they are right and the other guy is wrong. I think most people assume that the other guy would do the same to them if the roles were reversed.

That might be giving some people too much credit though. It implies at least some kind of thought process. In my experience, a lot of people just don't think about what they're doing or how it affects other people.

I once wrote a column on tailgaters, and what possesses them to do something so dangerous, annoying and utterly pointless. I'm talking about the ones who don't even want to pass, but just sit on your ass for no reason at all, slowing and speeding up whenever you do.

I had an epiphany while watching a local parade. Each of the bands was preceded by a banner, toted by a pair of kids. Little kids, not able to do much more than carry and walk. And that's what they did. They walked at a comfortable speed until they came up against something - the float in front of them. Every so often, a parade marshal would have to move them back to the front of their bands, where people could actually read the banner and understand who they were with. And then they'd do it all over again. I'm sure they knew what they were supposed to do, and wanted to to a good job, but they always settled into a comfortable walk, faster than the parade, and slowed when met with an obstacle. The truth was, they just weren't thinking about what they were doing any more than the bare minimum of "go that way and avoid obstacles." And that's what tailgaters are thinking on the road - nothing, at least as far as driving is concerned.

And that's how I see most everyday rudeness. People just don't think about what they're doing.

And that's why I have a particular contempt for those people who bother me deliberately and knowingly for a purpose - the stores with pushy, commisioned sales staff (not the staff themselves, necessarily), telemarketing companies, spammers, etc.

[Umaril The Unfeathered]

And that's why I have a particular contempt for those people who bother me deliberately and knowingly for a purpose - the stores with pushy, commisioned sales staff (not the staff themselves, necessarily), telemarketing companies, spammers, etc.

Come to our local mall and you'll get beset upon by these girls who keep asking people to try their fingernail and manicure products.  NO is not an option with them.

They step up and ask you to try their hand lotion, and if you say no, they go to "can I ask you a question'? as a secondary approach.  I got asked 3 times in one day once.  YOW! 

Telemarketers? The very reason the "Do Not Call" list exists. Thank God for that..

[Flick James]

And that's why I have a particular contempt for those people who bother me deliberately and knowingly for a purpose - the stores with pushy, commisioned sales staff (not the staff themselves, necessarily), telemarketing companies, spammers, etc.

Come to our local mall and you'll get beset upon by these girls who keep asking people to try their fingernail and manicure products.  NO is not an option with them.

They step up and ask you to try their hand lotion, and if you say no, they go to "can I ask you a question'? as a secondary approach.  I got asked 3 times in one day once.  YOW! 

Telemarketers? The very reason the "Do Not Call" list exists. Thank God for that..

"Can I ask you a question?"

I just got that the other day from a girl at one of those kiosks. You know what I responded as I walked away?

"You just did."