Suffering through some bad (and not-so bad) movies

[The Burgomaster]

It rained here in Massachusetts on Friday and Saturday, so I had plenty of time to watch the following DVDs:

* ROBOT MONSTER (included in one of the 50 movie packs) - I had only seen this movie once before, about 10 years ago when I bought the Rhino VHS 3-D version (which was only PARTIALLY in 3-D, and the 3-D effects didn't even work).  Definitely a bad movie, but also pretty boring.  It isn't as much of a "fun" bad movie as PLAN 9.

* DESTROY ALL PLANETS (another 50 movie pack selection) - Gamera the flying turtle battles aliens who try to invade Earth in a spaceship that looks like a bunch of ping-pong balls arranged in a circle.  To be honest with everyone, it has probably been 20 years or more since I last watched a "Japanese giant monster" movie.  So, please remind me, do they ALL look this fake and cheesy?  I remember them being very cheap-looking movies, but not THIS cheap looking.  Are they all the same or is this one exceptionally bad?

* ZONTAR, THE THING FROM VENUS (again, 50 movie pack) - Yes, it's another bad, bad, bad, AIP television release from the 1960s.

* EEGAH (yup, another 50 movie pack selection) - Enough has been written about this one that I don't need to say much.  Bad and hilarious.  And the songs by Arch Hall, Jr. are . . . well . . . listen to them for yourself.

* ALL THE KIND STRANGERS (50 movie pack) - Actually, a decent TV movie from the 1970s with a pretty good cast including Stacy Keach, John Savage and Robbie Benson.  Keach stars as a photojournalist who is kidnappef by a group of backwoods orphans who try to force him to be their father.

* CONGRATULATIONS, IT'S A BOY (50 movie pack) - Another TV movie from the 1970s.  Bill Bixby stars as a playboy in his late 30s who gets a surprise visit from a teenaged boy who claims to be his son.  A typical Aaron Spelling TV production.

* THE HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME (silent, Lon Chaney version - 50 movie pack) - A classic.  Chaney's performance and hunchback make-up are priceless.  Recommended.

* KOLCHAK: THE NIGHT STALKER (the episode about the werewolf - from the TV series DVD collection) - This is one of the worst NIGHT STALKER  episodes for 2 main reasons:  1) The werewolf make-up is really, really terrible; 2) the best werewolf stories involve a well-developed human character (who the audience can relate to) who becomes a werewolf.  Eric Braeden (from THE RAT PATROL and COLOSSUS: THE FORBIN PROJECT) plays a passenger on a cruise ship who turns into a werewolf.  There is essentially no development of his character, so we really don't care about what happens to him.  And his werewolf make-up looks like whiskers (that you can buy in any joke shop) glued to his face.  Thumbs down.

* THE MUMMY (Peter Cushing / Christopher Lee version - I bought the widescreen DVD for $5.99) - Watched it late at night and kept falling asleep.  Looked like I decent movie, though.  Need to watch it again soon.

Well, I'm off to watch a few more!



Post Edited (10-16-05 07:38)

[dean]

The Burgomaster wrote:

>> * EEGAH (yup, another 50 movie pack selection) - Enough has
> been written about this one that I don't need to say much.  Bad
> and hilarious.  And the songs by Arch Hall, Jr. are . . . well
> . . . listen to them for yourself.

At first read through this, I thought that EEGAH was the noise you made when watching and describing the movie... it took me a second to realise that it was the name of the film.

On a less 'I'm an idiot' note, Gamera films are great because the effects are crappy and cheesy!  For some reason I've always preffered everyone's favourite giant turtle over other giant monsters.

[Mr. Hockstatter]

I remember those Gamera films being a real staple of Mystery Science Theater 3000 for a while.  My favorite scene from one of those was where a jeep gets cut in half by some sort of laser beam, and it keeps going, minus the right half of it.  Joel and the bots commented they didn't think that was possible.  Then it finally tips over and you can very clearly see the little bicycle wheel underneath that held it up.

I kind of liked that Kolchak episode.  Didn't have much character development for the werewolf, but Kolchak trying to make silver bullets out of the Captain's buttons, hey, how can ya not love it?

That Mummy movie has always been one of my favorites.  I've got it on video someplace, I'll have to dig it up.

[Shadowphile]

Gamera was always my favourite monster as a kid...

[peter johnson]

Give RO-man and Robot Monster another chance!!
"You're so bossy you ought to be milked!" -- line given by smartalecky military guy to heroine love-interest.
That bubble machine in the cave!!
The whole Ro-man dialogue with itself, playing its boss and the "invasion force" of one --
Really, this thing is every bit as entertaining as Plan 9 -- play it again and relisten to the surreal dialogue.
And yeah, you gotta redo the Hammer Mummy too -- very high quality in many resepects.  See especially the look of anguish and suffering conveyed by Lee while under all that makeup.  Lee gave himself a back injury on the film, carrying the lovely Hammer lady through the muck in full mummy costume, from which he still suffers.
peter johnson/denny crane