Recent viewings

[claws]

Great cheese in Tattoo Connection. Huge fave of mine.

[JaseSF]

How To Lose Friends and Alienate People (2008): Sidney Young (Simon Pegg), a smalltime British writer for an alternative radical magazine finally gets his big break getting hired for the prestigious upscale Sharps Magazine, essentially a celebrity gossip rag, following a stunt at a party in which he accidentally lets loose a pig upon the rich and famous. However in order to get ahead and get anywhere, Sidney soon learns he must do away with all his principles.

This film was apparently loosely based upon the memoir of Toby Young. Overall the movie has some bright, funny moments and a surprisingly enjoyable romantic element at its core but also feels a bit rough around the edges at other times with quite a lot of the comedy being quite raunchy and debauched. Kirsten Dunst does well as romantic interest Alison Olsen, a sweet if somewhat slightly damaged character. Megan Fox is also surprisingly good in this as a bubblehead budding starlet, all beauty and no brains, named Sophie Maes, who's really not all that likable at all yet soon becomes the prime object of Young's lust. Also notable here are Gillian Anderson as publicist Eleanor Johnson, Jeff Bridges as Sharps magazine's editor Clayton Harding and Max Minghella as the quasi-brooding up and coming director named Vincent Lepak who's really a big phony. While it didn't initially win me over, by the end I ended up rather liking this one a bit more than I expected. ***1/2 out of ***** stars.

The Black Hole (2006): An accident at a particle accelerator facility in St. Louis, Missouri somehow unleashes a black hole upon the city. Before long, we also learn an electric energy creature has been let loose from the black hole as well and is somehow absorbing energy back into the black hole helping it grow larger. Down and out scientist Eric Bryce (Judd Nelson) and his primary love interest Dr. Shannon Mueller (Kristy Swanson) must work to solve the problem of stopping the expansion and growth of the black hole before the army fires nuclear weapons at all and most likely make it grow even more out of control.

Obviously the science in this seems completely ludicrous and is perhaps most akin to what one might find in a bad video game (funny enough a soldier remarks that he feels like a character in one) or comic book. All in all it's pretty silly stuff but also sometimes fun in the way you remember enjoying bad video games or comic books especially when you were a kid. The CGI FX is pretty cheesy and the energy creature resembles and behaves a little too much like your average movie monster.  The final conclusion featuring a truck is fun if ridiculous. Actually fun but utterly and completely ridiculous well describes this one. ** out of ***** stars.

[Jack]

The Ghost Galleon (1974) - two swimsuit models get stranded in a small boat out in the ocean, but they happen across an old Spanish galleon that's permanently shrouded in its own spooky fog bank. So they go aboard and as luck would have it, get killed by a group of undead Templar Knights who inhabit the thing. Eventually some other people show up to rescue them, and they too end up stranded on the ghost ship. This was just so cheesy - the Templars move at a pace of about 1 yard every 5 seconds, but of course their victims find a way to move even slower. One girl falls from a railing - a distance of about 2 feet, resulting in her apparently being paralyzed from the waist down. Another gets cut on the neck and sure enough, paralyzed from the waist down. I had to admire the obviousness of the method our survivors eventually used to get rid of the Templars, that was rather smart. It had some nice atmosphere;  I love creaky old ships. The characters were those typical mid-seventies types, real jerks and I was quite happy to see them die at their earliest convenience. The main swimsuit model babe was about the only one that generated any sympathy from me. But I suppose I can be a little generous and give it a 3.5/5.

[FatFreddysCat]

"Star Crash" (1979)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pzfuNSpP0RA
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I'm sure just about everybody on this forum is familiar with Luigi Cozzi's deliriously awesome "Star Wars" wanna-be. Space hottie Stella Star and her faithful, white-boy Afro'd companion Akton must rescue a lost Prince (David freakin' Hasselhoff!!)and save the universe from the machinations of the evil Count Zartharn (Booo! Hissss!). Campy action, ridiculous dialogue, and charmingly cheesy special effects ensue.

This is the flick that got me into B-Movies as a teen, and it's stil a hoot 30 years later. In short: if you see only one low budget, late '70s Italian sci-fi mish-mosh starring David Hasselhoff this year,make sure it's this one!!

[Jack]

Alien Armageddon (2011) - Aliens invade earth and wipe out pretty much everybody, sparing only those who have a rare blood type. They want those folks for genetic experiments. This started out good, the CGI alien invasion was kind of cool looking (at least the spaceships were), and it was done in a somewhat artistic manner. The totally fake CGI explosions were worth a chuckle too. And the characters seemed as if they might be interesting - until 15 minutes into the thing when all the interesting ones were killed off. We spend the next hour with some completely uninteresting people we don't know or care about sitting in a concrete cell, puking and pooping in a bucket as the alien genetic manipulation makes them sick. Oh boy...what fun. The ending wasn't bad, or maybe it just didn't seem so bad in comparison to the previous hour of nothingness. 2.75/5.

[Trevor]

Boa Vs Python: yikes.... 

[JaseSF]

Room 33 (2009): A roller derby troupe, their male coaches and a couple they pick up along the way (their car has crashed into a tree) decide to spend the night in a creepy, old, seemingly abandoned and perhaps haunted mental institution when their planned route is cut off and they find themselves low on gas. In short order, a mysterious dark figure seems to begin picking off the characters one by one.

This one would probably be right up Jack's alley. Wouldn't be surprised if he hasn't seen or reviewed it already but anyways there's lots of girls in skimpy outfits, especially the rolly derby girls and the nice girl (one half of the couple who it turns out aren't really a couple) also wears very tight jeans throughout which show off her, ahem, asset. This builds up a decent atmosphere and is at heart a decent little horror mystery. Biggest flaw perhaps is they reveal things a bit too quickly as to who or is that what is behind the killings. Actually this one doesn't go overboard with the gore (but does have some moments here and there) and is more concerned with its mystery and the building tension between the different characters as the horror and suspense grows. In the end, this surprised me by being a little better than I expected although I suspect the ending may well go over the head of a lot of its intended audience. *** out of ***** stars.

[FatFreddysCat]

"Death Ship" (1980)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQ2zVFW8ixQ
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Vintage sea-faring horror cheez starring George Kennedy and Richard Crenna. Survivors of a cruise ship disaster climb aboard a derelict WWII German warship, which soon proves to be haunted. Interesting concept and some cool creepy atmosphere but it's very slow moving and mostly unsatisfying. Very similar to the 2002 film "Ghost Ship," but with more stupid.

[Jack]

Room 33 (2009):

Haven't seen that one, but it's on the Amazon wishlist now      

Bride of the Monster (1955) - Ed Wood Jr. film with Bela Lugosi as a mad scientist (and Tor Johnson as his henchman) who wants to create a race of atomic supermen to conquer the world! He's also got a big rubber octopus that all his victims fall on top of and die screaming in agony, even though it's completely inanimate. Bela kidnaps a female reporter and her cop boyfriend comes looking for her, leading to a big showdown at the end. This was exactly what you'd expect - it ain't no Plan 9 but it was cheesy and goofy a fair bit of fun. 3/5.

Final Encounter (For the Cause) (2000) - In the future there are two matte paintings, er...cities that have been at war with each other for 100 years. One side is on the verge of winning, but Dean Cain, the leader of the other side, hatches a plan to take a small group of soldiers on a long trek to the capitol city of their enemy and detonate a bomb to wipe them out. So we follow them for months across the wilderness, getting to know the characters. The two girls in the group are "programmers" who use futuristic computers to project giant CGI hands onto the battlefield which can crush their enemies. It's kind of cool just for its weirdness. So they finally get to the enemy city and I'm like "WTF?!?!"

SPOILERS

The soldiers act all horrified that they're going to nuke the enemy, so they decide not to. Um, kiddies, I'm only watching the movie and I always knew that was what you were going to do. You're actually in the movie and you couldn't figure that out? So then one guy makes a little speech (as dramatic music swells dramatically in the background) about how the war's gone on too long, so then the war is magically over and they all live happily ever after. Oh...come...on.

END SPOILERS

Still a fun watch even with the stupid ending. The characters were pretty likable and it had an oddball atmosphere about it that I enjoyed. Really seemed like a product of the '80s rather than 2000. 3.5/5

[tracy]

Four American G.I.s rape a young German girl and Kirk Douglas is sent to defend them....he knows they are guilty and is mostly there to make sure they don't get executed. Douglas has the thankless job of tearing the girl apart to do this and the small German town seems to enjoy the painful trial. This is an excellent but uncomfortable film to watch.



Another Jim Kelly "classic"....this is in a compilation set I just bought for Alan. Good action and lots of cheese.

[alandhopewell]

     Just bought a four film martial arts compilation,which had this....



     This has always been a favorite of mine, action, and cheesiness, tinged somewhat by the fact that there ARE people who'd love to find a virus that would only kill black folks.

[Rev. Powell]

FREAKED (1993): A vain actor is turned into a freak in a South American mutant circus by a mad scientist, using the same chemical he's recently become a spokesman for. Bizarre freak costume design and a parade of B-list celebrities (Mr. T as the bearded lady, Larry "Bud" Melman) make up for the hit-or-miss nature of the rapid fire NAKED GUN-style gags.  It's an entertaining enough comedy but I don't really get its cult reputation in some quarters (sorry, Mofo!) 3/5.

[JaseSF]

Room 33 (2009):

Haven't seen that one, but it's on the Amazon wishlist now     

A heads up, you can get it on one of those Midnight Horror Collection with a bunch of other modern era horror films.

This is the one I've got (Midnight Horror Collection Vol. 8) (I fished it out of a Wal-Mart $5 bin):



Amazon.com has a 16 film collection too though a bit pricey IMO...

http://www.amazon.com/The-16-Film-Midnight-Horror-Collection/dp/B003ZKGMQ8/ref=sr_1_fkmr3_2?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1336530828&sr=1-2-fkmr3

[Jack]

Thanks for the top Jase, I ordered Room 33 yesterday on its own DVD from Amazon for 6 bucks including shipping. I watched the trailer and it looked like it was worth it    Some of those Midnight Horror Collections look kind of interesting, and Amazon has the first two for only a couple bucks used. I'll probably have to pick those up eventually too.

Bread Crumbs (2011) - some filmmakers go to a secluded cabin way out in the woods to shoot a porno, but a couple of psycho kids living in the area have different plans - they turn this into a slasher. This had some good points and bad: the plot with the kids was kind of interesting because you didn't quite know what was going on with them until the end. The movie took itself seriously (except for a few unintentionally chuckle-inducing moments) and had moderately good suspense. Some of the characters were okay, others weren't, but unfortunately by the end we're left with nothing but the unlikable ones and a horror movie just cannot work if I don't care if these people live or die. 2.5/5.

Giant from the Unknown (1958) - Some archaeologists dig up a Spanish conquistador who comes back to life. He's a "giant", and goes around killing a few people. Of course the local sheriff thinks one of the archaeologists is responsible for the killings, and that whole thing plays out in predictable fashion with the cop going so far as to shoot at the archaeologist a bunch of times, and then a minute later when he discovers the truth, he's like "Gee sorry. Friends now?" LOL. The ending was kind of exciting in comparison to other movies from this time period. Characters were enjoyable. Got a kick out of the way they portrayed the conquistador as some sort of cave man; they're from 500 - 700 years ago, not 20 million. Oh well  3/5.

[Rev. Powell]

MAN WITH A MOVIE CAMERA (1929): This experimental documentary is a plotless record of life in the Soviet Union, mainly important as a then avant-garde catalog of camera tricks and editing experiments (many of which were pioneered in this film but are commonplace or obsolete now). Most non-film students will find this boring and want to stay far, far away, but it still has its visually impressive moments and it's too important in the history of cinema to give a poor rating. 4/5.

NETWORK (1976): News anchor Howard Beale loses his mind and starts ranting on the air; since the UBS network is in last place the executives make the controversial decision to keep him on the air, and ratings soar as the news becomes a circus with Beale presiding as the "mad prophet of the airwaves." NETWORK is what all movie satires and black comedies should aspire to be; the humor is cutting, passionate and purposeful. Paddy Chayefsky's dialogue is grandiose and unashamedly overwritten but universally brilliant---the film is paced with unforgettable monologues including William Holden dumping Faye Dunaway, Ned Beatty explaining that there are no nations anymore, and Peter Finch's iconic "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!" rant. 5/5.