Who Saw Scarlet Fry's Junkfood Horrorfest

[AndyC]

Nobody to spell-check the credits? That simply is not true. I distinctly remember seeing someone listed as proot reaner.

[CheezeFlixz]

If you play Scarlet Fry's Junkfood Horrorfest backwards you'll discover that Calico Cooper is really a Tabby.

[ghouck]

Better yet, if you don't play it at all, Unicorns will give you money and candy wrapped in a rainbow. Women will show their boobies to you, and all your drinks will be "On The House". Your boss will give you a HUGE raise and a couple weeks of all-expense paid vacation. Your kids will get smarter, and your johnson will get bigger. That neighbor's dog that always craps on your lawn will stop, and start bringing you the newspaper. That REALLY hot woman at the office, the one with the b1tchy attitude, she'll proposition you for sex, and you'll turn her down in front of the whole office, and your boss will fire her for sexual harassment. You'll learn of a distant relative you've ever heard of before, and he'll give you a plasma TV, a Ferrari, and a mansion is Spain, just because he doesn't even use them any more. Your hair will stop falling out, your body fat percentage will drop to around 6-7, and your wife will turn into that nymphomaniac you always wanted, and magically know how to cook.

So, my suggestion is: Don't watch it. . 

[indianasmith]

OH BOY!!!!   I'm gonna start not watching it right now!!!   

[AndyC]

Hey, you took that directly from the subplot they left on the cutting room floor. Rob Schneider watches a mysterious DVD of weird imagery (people turning into furniture, chickens drinking martinis, exploding zucchini, the usual) and one week later, all of that good stuff happened. The ironic twist was that his enhanced johnson attracted the equally enhanced Janet Reno, who was munching on some sheep nearby. What followed would have meant an NC-17 rating, so the filmmakers opted to drop the entire subplot, in keeping with their intention to produce a family-friendly horror film. At least that's what my friend said, and his brother was the proot reaner on the picture.

[ghouck]

OH BOY!!!!   I'm gonna start not watching it right now!!!   

CONGRATULATIONS!, you already ARE not watching it. . . See how easy that was. . .

[Mr. DS]

At least that's what my friend said, and his brother was the proot reaner on the picture.

Get out of town!  A friend of my brother's coworker's sister's husband was supposedly an assistant to the assistant of the best boy so I've heard.  He said the smell coming from the set was awful.  Something to do with a port-a-potty being knocked over into the buffet table. 

[Sister Grace]

Your hair will stop falling out, your body fat percentage will drop to around 6-7, and your wife will turn into that nymphomaniac you always wanted, and magically know how to cook.

So, my suggestion is: Don't watch it. . 

So that's why James refuses to watch this movie!!?? 

[Dennis]

I may be the only one here who found this film to be mostly boring and pretentious, due I believe to the ridiculous camera angles and the boring, predictable dialogue.

Predictable dialog? Are you telling me that in the scene with the Hobos and the Mexican sailor, you "Predicted" the old woman was going to mumble "4691 irradiated haggis" over a hundred and seventy times unanswered? Are you telling me that when Janet Reno took her clothes off and grabbed her mommy-bags, you "Predicted" she was going to sing and dance the "My Milkshake" song?

Yes, I am. In his last film this scene was done with the Red Mountain Volunteer Fire Department playing the part of the hobos, an actual lieutenant in the Austrian navy played the part of the Mexican sailor and a CGI talking coyote played the part of the old woman. The coyote can be heard to mumble "3575 irradiated haggis" 153 times.
The film maker refers to dollars as "irradiated haggis", 3575 represents the amount in dollars and cents that the highest paid member of the cast received for his performance, in this particular film the naval officier received $35.75. The number of times the phrase is repeated is a reference to number of alimony payments the director owes to his former wives.
Janet Reno's nude song and dance scene was something she's been dying to do, she wants to shed her goody two shoes image, this film's rating made it obvious she would the one female lead who took it all off for the camera.

[ghouck]

she wants to shed her goody two shoes image

True, she wanted to shed that "goody two shoes image" all LAWYERS seem to acquire.

[AndyC]

How can anyone suggest that Reno is trying to be a bad girl in this movie? Yes, she is surgically enhanced by Dr. Phil and dances nude for most of the move. And yes, she does go on a nude rampage through the countryside. But if you look beyond the brutal assault on Rob Schneider and all of the pigs and goats she devours, it's pretty clear that Reno is a good guy.

After all, did she not save that little boy from the bullies, and divert the river after the dam burst? Sure, they looked accidental, but we know better. And you can't deny that Reno saves Tokyo by teaming up with the nude, augmented Madeleine Albright and battling Gigan and King Ghidorah (yeah, they technically weren't the Toho monsters for copyright reasons, but they were clearly ripoffs).

So put that in your pipe and smoke it.

[ghouck]

it's pretty clear that Reno is a good guy.

That explains the mustache. .

After all, did she not save that little boy from the bullies?

Yes, by roasting him in an open-pit barbecue and eating him with a Steakhouse-style Chili as a side-dish, , not totally what one would consider a "Save", but it DID save him from having to endure any further filming.

and divert the river after the dam burst?

Yes, she diverted it AWAY from the drought-stricken farmlands, and TOWARDS a populated downtown metropolis. 

I did enjoy (briefly) the part where Liberachi rode in on the day-glo zebra and fought Reno in that cage. It took a while to realize their fight was choreographed EXACTLY to the first fight between Randy Couture and Chuck Liddell, with Liberachi representing Randy of course. The only deviation was the addition of the sex toys and the weed-eater. Reno's mowhawk and tattoos were spot on though, as were the trademark Chuck Liddell beer-gut and man-hooters.

[Mr. DS]

I've heard a legend of a real ghost of a boy appearing in a window during the sheep shearing scene.  Does anyone know the validity of this?  I've rewound that scene several times and no matter how hard I look I can't see it.  I mean I think I sort of see where it could be but I'm totally not sure.  Same thing with the midget hanging himself during the bunker scene.

[ghouck]

I've heard a legend of a real ghost of a boy appearing in a window during the sheep shearing scene.  Does anyone know the validity of this?  I've rewound that scene several times and no matter how hard I look I can't see it.  I mean I think I sort of see where it could be but I'm totally not sure.

I've not seen this, but you can see a birthmark on Janet Reno's left boob that is shaped like David Koresh.

Same thing with the midget hanging himself during the bunker scene.

That I saw, but I do not remember at what point. It was just a little autoerotic asphyxiation, nothing to worry about.

[AndyC]

I saw the ghost. Right in the middle of the sheep shearing scene, if you pause at exactly the moment where the sheep kicks John Larroquette in the coconuts, just look in the bottom right pane of the window behind his left shoulder. Just above the reflection of Elvis, and slightly to the right of the Boggy Creek monster's image, you will see a Basset Hound. Hold a mirror up to the screen and stand on your head. In the dog's left eye is a small boy.

This was tested out on the same Mythbusters episode as the Charlie McCarthy freemason treasure myth. In this case, Grant built a mirror holding rig out of the old sword-swinging robot and they used a dead pig as a human analog. Tory took a painful-looking spill while pausing the video, but they managed to catch the whole thing on the high-speed camera as the radio-controlled Olds Cutlass plowed into the television. They concluded that the myth was plausible.