I know ASHTHECAT’s got a whole
thread on the subject. This'll be totally diffrent, and worth it's own thread. Count on it.
Dan Kretzer’s review really p---ed me off. I’m not talking angry, I’m talking white hot rage. I’m talking Wrath of God style rage.
And in this state I started writing a response. Y’know, your typical anonymous Web stuff. Like an
Ain’t It Cool News Talk Back, only literate, in my case.
Now the funny thing is, I could care less about
Alien: Resurrection . It’s a Bad Movie. It’s crap.
But here I was, compelled to write this little reply in ASHTHECAT’s topic on why I thought Mr. Krezer’s review was too harsh. I listed points and everything. I would not let go, I would not let go.
At first I thought it was because I was a Josh Whedon fan. Through out Mr. Kretzer’s
review he keeps hammering left and right on Whedon. Justified, I admitted. But way over done.*
The problem is, is that while I like Whedon’s stuff, I don’t watch it regularly. I don’t have the investment in it. If Mr. Kretzer went after
Doctor Who or Godzilla, then I could understand the ire.
It took all night to realize the reason, but when I did, it was a killer.
It’s the first sentence of the review proper: “That Ridley Scott's 1979 masterpiece ‘Alien’ is one of the greatest horror films (and THE greatest horror/scifi film) ever made only makes this vile and offensive third sequel all the more painful.” Actually, it’s even simpler than that.
It’s the “Ridley Scott's 1979 masterpiece.”
Go through the review. All through it is Josh Whedon this, Josh Whedon that.
Not once, not one damn time, is the director, Jean-Pierre Jeunet mentioned. Not even in passing.
Not.
Once.
I could give a damn about Jean-Pierre Jeunet, one way or the other. He can sail away back to France or go to the Moon for the life of me.
It’s the “Ridley Scott's 1979 masterpiece” that sends me trembling with rage. Still. Still, damn it.
The movie
Alien didn’t pop from Scott’s pea brain like Athena did from Zeus’s brow. A small group of
WRITERS helped him make the film. Their names are Dan O'Bannon, Ronald Shusett, David Giler, and Walter Hill. These men are the source of your classic.**
True, Scott had “vision.” He did a tremendous job with the film, as did the actors , the set designers, and the F/X people.
But they didn't do it alone. They had a script to work from. For God's sake, have at least the common courtesy of giving credit where credit is do.
God, does that irritate me. And it’s not just Mr. Krezter who does it; the mentality is constant.
If the movie's a hit, it's the director's film all the way. Look at
Duel. It's always
Steven Spielburg's Duel. Screw Richard Matheson, he only wrote the damn thing. Twice.
But if it fails, it's the scriptwriter's fault.
It's bulls----
Can anyone tell that I’m a writer? Anyone?
Sorry about that. Just needed to vent
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*Here’s a little hint for better reviews. Comments like “Arrrrrrgh!! Damn you Joss Whedon! ROT IN HELL!!" are not funny. They’re childish as hell. I hate seeing this crap in any review. Especially since you’ve been b***hing about him throughout the whole thing anyway. It’s redundant.
Also, the last comment, “Screenwriter Joss Whedon is now raking in millions for his 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' TV series, which is evidence enough for me that there really is a Satan,” was a tactical blunder. The show has last seven years and has had one spin-off that’s lasted four. All of this sprouting from a crap film. It is a show of the man’s skill, if not genius, to have pulled this off, and not diabolic influence. Not merely on the writing side, but on the producer side as well.
If you doubt this, I’d like to point you the great success the TV series
Turner and Hooch and
Blue Thunder had, both of which sprung from hit movies.
Oh wait. Both were cancelled before their seasons finished. Never mind.
It takes talent to assemble a crew and to maintain a series in this day and age. You'd have been better off wondering how he got the gig for writing
Resurrection after the movie stinker
Buffy the Vampire Slayer. ** I also thought the whole “greatest horror/scifi film ever” wasn’t that well thought out at all. It’s a good movie and all, scary as hell, but
The Thing from Another World is a far better film, and that puppy no longer has that much scary left in it. Let me tell you why: The characters in
The Thing behave in a rational manner.
In
Alien Ripley goes back into danger for her cat.
Her cat.
All the WRITERS (and Scott, mustn’t forget our genius) had to do is spare one human character and they could have a legitimate reason for Ripley going back. One character.
That part of the movie was damn lazy, and should have been rethought or dropped. It’s first draft stuff.
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Cullen, who has been watching the personal attacks on fellow Boarder Squishy with much amusement. He knows the direct approach will never work.
First you beat him to an IMDb reference.
Then you usurp him as Cranky Old Man on the Board.
That’s the way to take him out. :-)