THE SACRED SYMBOL (1984): A lecturer at an "Adventurer's Club" shows footage from around the world--snake charmers, a man on a bed of nails, Filipino flagellants--which for some reason convinces listeners that Christianity is the One True Religion. A lazy and senseless attempt at a Christian "mondo" movie, which blessedly marked the end of the Ormond Organization's cinematic mission. 0.5/5.
That pretty much wraps up the Ormond box set for me, although there are a few remaining extra features. I can hardly believe I subjected myself to this, I must be a real masochist. There are good bad-movie moments in the pre-Christian movies, with THE EXOTIC ONES being a worthy bad movie. IF FOOTMEN TIRE YOU is a must see for bad movie fans, and the other Christian movies have goofy moments scattered throughout, though they'd probably feature better on a mixtape--even though they're all about an hour long, watching them can be a chore. Oh well, on to the Coffin Joe boxset soon enough, which I expect to enjoy on a much more sincere level.
I’m looking for a comedy movie (between 1980 - 2000 max). A marriage (they aren’t too young) with their friend on vacation, perhaps some island or small sleepy town with a castle. The woman is appalled that her husband doesn’t remember their wedding anniversary, so she leaves the hotel on her own and explores the town or an island. Then, a strange guy notices her (he is an elderly man with long gray hair) and he offers her a walk and buys her a red dress. I remember he tells her he lives in a castle and invites her there. He gets her drunk or gives her something and carries her to some sacrificial altar, at this her husband rushes in and on some tower, he fights an evil man. Then, he brings to life the stone griffins (or dragons) that decorate the tower. Everything ends well and the final scene as how all three of the wife, husband and their friend sit outside the hotel and ride away on donkeys is how the film ends.
Earth is visited by a GIANT ANTIMATTER SPACE BUZZARD! Gawk at the amazingly bad bird puppet, or chuckle over the silly dialog. This is one of the greatest b-movies ever made.
Lesson Learned:
Osmosis: os·mo·sis (oz-mo'sis, os-) n., 1. When a bird eats something.
