All of this, of course, depends on how much you want to be her. Sometimes you just have to make a choice.
Um, isn't that a separate conversation?
but I love the girl
On the serious side, there comes a time when a relationship becomes a decision. It doesn't "just happen." Despite Disney Princess Movies, Hollywood in general and a whole heap of pop culture, "love" is not an "emotion," it is an active decision.
Throughout the New Testament of The Bible, the word used for "love" was an action verb. Love is something you "do," or "show," not something you "feel." Yeah, maybe you "feel" it first, in the early stages of a relationship, but then it grows up.
If you make the decision that this girl is who you want to spend your life with, and her side sounds reasonable to me from what you've written, that let your actions bear out that decision...both your actions to her and ABOUT HER to others bear out that decision.
You and the people you describe will remain in my thoughts.