Recent viewings

[Jack]

I remember Alien factor having a particularly unappealing love scene.

Would that maybe be Metamorphosis:  The Alien Factor from 1990?  I don't remember the one I watched having any sex scenes.  Of course I've got a cold and was drinking beer on top of it, so I'm kind of surprised I remember watching it at all actually   I saw the the one from 1990 a while back and vaguely remember that having some gross sex.

[Jack]

Escape From Galaxy 3 (1981) - in some far off galaxy, oh heck, this thing starts on the bridge of a spaceship and the commander is dressed up like the Wizard of Oz, and the second in command is in a leotard with sparkly nylons.  I knew I was in for a treat    So there's a bit of very low budget Italian spaceship combat and the princess and the captain of her guards get sucked through a wormhole (or something) and end up on Earth in the stone age.  Where all the chicks dress in cheerleader outfits!  Or a reasonable facsimile thereof.  The Earthlings may be primitive and these folks may be super advanced, but we've got one thing they don't - sex.  So while their whole galaxy is getting wiped out by the bad guys, the princess and her hunky guard buddy, well he's actually kind of dorky looking, well they're busy with other stuff.  I can't remember what happens at the end, I was having a little problem with my eyes at the time - they kept falling shut.  I think that having sex gives them special powers to defeat the bad guys or something.  3.5/5.

3 Musketeers (2011) - The Asylum knockoff of the big budget movie of the same name that came out the same year.  Some team of super secret special agents get drawn into the middle of some international intrigue and even an attempted coup of the US President.  Oh it's all quite believable    They crammed in a sword fight every chance they got - for instance the head bad guy was  a bronze medalist in fencing at the Olympics at one time, so hey...what possibilities.  There's a few "One for all and all for one!"s tossed in too.  It's just ludicrous, but silly fun ludicrous.  Fake CGI...everything!  They've even got people going down a zip line and it looks like tiny cardboard figurines flopping about comically.  3.25/5

War of the Robots (1978) - More Italian space opera cheese.  Some race of golden androids attacks Earth and we send a ship after them and there's lots of shooting (goes on forever) and lots of really boring spaceship dogfights (goes on forever).  There's a cute girl in it!  I guess that's worth an extra quarter of a point.  Heck that's where the entire 3.25 comes from.  Nah, it's pretty cheesy and ridiculous;  I had an okay time.  3.25/5

[JaseSF]

Sunshine (2007): Sometime in the future, our Sun is dying. A last ditch effort has produced a space crew carrying a megabomb on their spaceship the Icarus II hoping with it to somehow set off a miniature big bang and restart the dying sun. However something else comes up that could potentially set the crew off on a detour - the original failed mission ship Icarus I is spotted.

Honestly I thought this was a pretty good sci-fi thriller. It does require one to suspend one's disbelief quite a lot and the premise of a stellar bomb restarting a dying sun seems ludricrous yet this was pretty well done for the most part and deals with issues that really would challenge a space crew on a prolonged mission - the war with one's own emotions - feelings of loneliness, isolation, the potential for madness and the potential to royally screw up. Sometimes though it does seem the movie cannot make up its mind whether it wants to be serious sci-fi or outright gory horror as elements of both are present throughout. In some ways, this reminds me of 1950s Sci-Fi exploration films with Conquest of Space being one in particular that feels a tad bit similar. Also there's times this also reminds me of The Black Hole yet this remains very much its own animal too. It doesn't always work but there's some good stuff here and there. *** out of ***** stars.

Q the Winged Serpent (1982): A hideous giant flying monster is terrorizing New York City only most don't even realize it exists or is out there just waiting for a chance to strike those in high places where it typically hunts. And if one doesn't watch it, you just might lose your head. A NYPD investigation eventually uncovers incredibly enough a connection to ritual cult sacrifice and the revival of the monster Aztec god Quetzalcoatl.

Now this little film from infamous director Larry Cohen was pretty bad overall what with Michael Moriarty as lifelong small-time crook looking to made it big Jimmy Quinn who stumbles upon the monster's secret hideout and Candy Clark as his long struggling girlfriend who seems to spend most of the film bickering with Quinn and apparently likes him better as a whiney crybaby that a man who dares stand up for himself. Also on board here as cops, perhaps slumming one could argue, are action legends David Carradine and Richard Roundtree. The best bits here involve the monster and whenever it's on screen in any fashion, it's entertaining. The rest of the time this is pretty tough slugging but perfect movie fare for bad movie lovers totally open to lots of ridiculing. Still I loved all the parts with the monster even if a lot of it and the gore are ridiculously over the top. Moriarty's performance wasn't half bad either considering. Does deserve kudos for saving the reveal of the monster, although the poster pretty much gives it away anyways, until towards the end. *** out of ***** stars.

[Jack]

Welcome to Blood City (1977) - Some people wake up in an old West town, can't remember anything, and soon find that the inhabitants of the place enslave new arrivals for a year.  After that they get to be citizens and can do their own enslaving of newcomers.  Jack Palance is the crazy sheriff of the town,  totally immoral and actually quite a fan of the whole system they've got set up.  I just couldn't care what happened to any of these people.  The plot was mainly just a bunch of talking as we learned tiny details about something we already knew more than enough about.  Towards the end it seemed as if the main plot concerned trying to free an innocent girl, but then that sputtered out and I'm like "Okay, why the hell should I keep watching after that?"  1.5/5.

[Rev. Powell]

BLOOD TEA AND RED STRING (2006): A group of white mice (who drink blood tea) steal a doll belonging to a clan of rodents in this dialogue-free stop-motion feature.  Beautiful and imaginative, with hallucinogenic berries, a frog sorcerer, and a near-perfect mix of surrealism and fairy tale darkness; it's like a lost Jan Svankmajer film.  4/5.   

[Jack]

Snow Beast (2011) - I thought this might be a remake of the 1977 made-for-TV movie, which has always been a favorite of mine.  But no, it's a fairly average SyFy Original type thing.  Some people are staying at a cabin out in the woods, The Abominable Snowman attacks, much running around and worrying ensues.  And lots - and lots - of stupid decisions.  Characters weren't bad, the action was good for a chuckle - my favorite part being when we see a snowmobile gently coasting to a stop, then exploding a second later.  The teenage girl character was uber-annoying at first, but got somewhat more bearable as it progressed.  It was pretty predictable as well;  like when she asks the non-lead character to help her save her dad.  Yeah, he's the main character.  Wonder how that's gonna turn out?  Oh well, I'll be a tad generous and give it a 3/5.

[lester1/2jr]

Dark Arc (2004)-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXzd_ndgvbs
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 Well, this is sort of a starbucksy s & m (with no nudity) erotic Canadian tax shelter...or something. Take about 5-15% Anais nin and combine it with 80-90% Ed Wood. A woman who looks like Elvira's less sexy stockbroker sister wears a pink leather coat which excites two different aesthetically minded dweebs. She gets them to jump through various little hoops and the dialogue is absurdly stagey. There are one or two funny things, like when the woman whoever she is quites her job as a cosmetologist: she comes to work dressed as Medusa, complete with snakes in her hair.

The movie at it's best is never all that compelling, on the other hand I kept watching it because it didn't really work but had a point somewhere. Bottom line: imagine a particularly pretentious erotic sort of "for couples" movie with the sex scenes taken out. that's what Dark Arc is about. its unique, just not that good. Would be hard to understate how pretentious the dialogue is. 3/5

[JaseSF]

The Vampire Bat (1933): Superstitious villagers in the turn of the century European village of Klineschloss believe a rash of deaths recently in town in which people are found in their beds drained of blood is the work of vampires but local inspector Karl BrettSchneider (Melvyn Douglas) suspects its in reality the work of some clever and fiendish murderer. Soon the villagers are worked up in a panic and are soon seeing vampires around every corner. Sure enough, they soon set their focus upon a poor mentally challenged young man named Herman (Dwight Frye) who shows a peculiar fondness for bats. BrettSchneider stumped by all this looks for help and advice from his girlfriend Ruth (Fay Wray)'s boss Dr. von Niemann (Lionel Atwill) who happens to have some books on the subject that still point towards it all being the work of vampires. What's the real truth behind the murder mystery here?

This old-time low budget Poverty Row mystery/horror film from director Frank Strayer is pretty creaky and slow-moving at times. In fact, for a film only around an hour long, the pace does seem pretty prolonged although some elements of the story seemed to need more fleshing out that it got. The cast though is terrific but sadly Wray and Atwill really aren't given a whole lot to do until the end. Dwight Frye nearly steals the show as the poor soul who's unfortunate enough to be just odd enough to become the subject of a witch hunt. Melvyn Douglas does well enough too here as BrettSchneider although he seems a little too distracted by Fay Wray (but really who could blame him for that?). Still in the end, this ends up being something of a  disappointment as it's more a mystery film disguised as an horror movie although before it's all said and done elements of science fiction and hypnotism creep into the plot as well.  **1/2 out of ***** stars. On another day, I might have given it 3/5 but honestly that seems a little generous.

Ernest Scared Stupid (1991): Ernest P. Worrell unwittingly resurrects an evil Troll named Trantor who sets about kidnapping children and turning them into wooden dolls. If Trantor capture 5 kids in enough time, he will be able to unleash an hideous troll army upon the town. Now it's up to Ernest and a small group of kids he befriends to stop the troll Trantor before it's too late but there's a few problems - for one, no one in town will believe their story and second, just how do you stop a troll anyways?

This fun little Ernest movie is great fun fare for Halloween but watching it at other times I find it a little tougher slugging although it's still funny. Personally I think the battle with the trolls goes on a tad too long as does some of the general overall ridiculousness of the film. One's tolerance and liking probably depends on how much one can tolerate the Ernest character. Oh don't get me wrong, I like Ernest and I enjoy watching this movie but I think I just wasn't quite in the right mindset for it this time around so I'll give it **1/2 out of ***** stars this time around.

13 Going on 30 (2004): On her thirteenth birthday, a young girl struggling to be popular wishes she were a thriving thirty year old woman and wakes up to find herself suddenly thirty only her life isn't quite as perfect as she imagined and inside she's still a thirteenth year old girl.

This romantic comedy starring Jennifer Garner was watchable enough and there's some funny stuff here and there. Garner does surprisingly well as playing younger than she really is and manages to make herself seem like a teen trapped in a thirty year old's body a lot of the time. All in all, this wasn't too bad of its type but the final ending feels more than a bit tacked on. **1/2 out of ***** stars.

[claws]

Heartless (2009)

Young man with a heart-shaped birthmark on his face discovers demon activity in his neighborhood. While investigating he comes across a mysterious man who offers him a deal: the birthmark will disappear, but he has to cut out the heart of a stranger ...

Psychological Horror with a somewhat familiar outcome. The journey there is interesting enough, however. Beautifully shot (gritty East London), well acted with a few dazzling special effects. Solid. 4/5

[bob]

I watched this earlier for the first time since I saw it in theaters. It is also the very first horror movie I've ever seen back in 2004. I liked it even more this time then back then.

5/5

[Rev. Powell]

Heartless (2009)

Young man with a heart-shaped birthmark on his face discovers demon activity in his neighborhood. While investigating he comes across a mysterious man who offers him a deal: the birthmark will disappear, but he has to cut out the heart of a stranger ...

Psychological Horror with a somewhat familiar outcome. The journey there is interesting enough, however. Beautifully shot (gritty East London), well acted with a few dazzling special effects. Solid. 4/5

Papa B, Belle and the Weapons Man are all great characters. 

[Rev. Powell]

FILM SOCIALISME (2010): A frustrating, impenetrable film essay full of scenes that are either fragmented or dull, revolving around people on a cruise ship, a couple running for office in the French countryside, and side trips to Palestine, Egypt, etc... If young film punks made a mean spirited, mocking parody of avant-garde film, the results would look a lot like this.  You may well be sick and tired of the shallowness and bourgeois sensibilities of film capitalisme, but FILM SOCIALISME should convince you that things could be much worse.  1.5/5.

[major jay]

Caught a few flicks on the tube this weekend.

THE TOWN THAT DREADED SUNDOWN
TCM played a beautiful widescreen print of this. First time I've seen it looking this good since back in the seventies. The kills were a lot more brutal than I remembered.

EXPERIMENT IN TERROR
This also played on TCM. It was a little too long, but it's very well made (great Henry Mancini score).

UNMASKING THE IDOL
I caught this on comcast on demand. It was kind of like a Cannon Films production of a James Bond movie, with a little bit of EVERY WHICH WAY BUT LOOSE thrown in for the hell of it. (there's a ninja baboon) Has anyone seen this?
What a weird title for such a silly movie. So bad it's good.

[bob]

I watched Gone in 60 Seconds (2000) earlier. This was one of my favorites in my younger days so I was kind of disappointed to see that it was not as good as I remembered. It is an average movie with a decent cast. There are some things that don't make sense, of course I can't remember what I thought they were at but I do remember wondering around a few things.

3.5/5

[Jack]

Hundra (1983) - so Hundra is a warrior in an all-woman tribe.  Life is fine until some evil men come and massacre them all.  Hundra decides that it's more important for her to reproduce (since her tribe is woefully short of members) than to take vengeance on the men.  Though chances are she'll probably find the opportunity to do that as well.  So she finds some drunken barbarian;  that doesn't go well.  Then she goes to the city and finds some gentle doctor and really develops a thing for him.  But of course things aren't that simple     This was pretty good.  It started out almost as a serious movie, with surprisingly realistic and brutal sword fights.  Then it turns into typical low budget junk with the whole romance plot.  Laurene Landon, who plays Hundra, is an excellent physical actress.  Not so excellent with the whole speaking thing though.  Oh well, it was boring and stupid in parts but pretty darned entertaining in others.  3.5/5.