New Godzilla!! NO SPOILERS

[Squishy]

DAI-KAIJU SOU-KOU-GEKI!!

Oh, what I do to see a kaiju movie on the big screen. Thursday, I flew (stand-by) to Kansai International, spent less than twenty hours in Osaka, and arrived back home Saturday morning with five hours left before I had to be at work; if the single return flight had been cancelled Saturday, or if I had gotten bumped off the flight or just got through security too late, I would have been SO screwed, you would've been able to hear my screams from your window. Twenty hours of that forty-eight hour period were spent in the air, and my skull hates flying. While I was in Osaka, my sinuses were bleeding from the exposure to dry airliner atmosphere; in spite of drinking liters of water, I was blowing huge pellet-hard black clots of mucus-covered blood from DEEP inside my noggin all day Saturday. I probably should see a doctor.

Hey, are you gonna finish that? :)

But I love it. I stay overnight in a capsule hotel, I have egg-and-teriyaki-sauce hamburgers at "Maku-donurudo's" and fried squid and seaweed-wrapped rice balls with salmon or sour plums or even just mayo inside (I could live on onigiri for the rest of my life), a good long soak in a blazing-hot bath, and a few hours to do as much sightseeing and shopping as possible before racing back to the airport. When I'm in Japan, I'm free as a bird, baby. I love everyone and everything.

So why do I love seeing Japan get reamed out by giant monsters? I got to Osaka just in time to catch the last scheduled showing of the latest Godzilla movie in the whole city. My freaking arteries could have been gushing and I wouldn't have paid them any attention. Even the psychotic hamster-cartoon (don't ask) it was playing with couldn't distract me.

You'll know you're going to like Godzilla-Mothra-King Ghidorah: DaiKaiju SouKouGeki the second you see the opening credit sequence. Once you get past the title card--which, like director Kaneko's last Gamera film and the previous Godzilla X Megaguirus (but unlike the creative and beautiful Heisei-series titles) is loud, and incredibly ugly and obnoxious--you will see a fantastic tribute to the credit sequences of Honda's films. I won't spoil it, but it is short and sweet--as opposed to a bloated, fawning "tribute"--which will also clue you in that the movie itself will roll at a nice pace too.

Some elements of the movie will require adjustments on your part. By now, everyone who cares knows that Baragon, Mothra, and King Ghidorah are the "heroes," mystical deities defending Japan from Godzilla, who might be the angry spirit of the ancient dead come to destroy Japan for its various sins. Wiggy!

Fourteen-year-old sociopaths who judge Godzilla movies by their "kill" rates will love this one. I've always wanted to see a major return to the "monster attacks humanity" aspect of Godzilla movies--while most recent ones all had key shots of fleeing Tokyoites, they've primarily been about Godzilla and his opponent scrapping with each other in evacuated areas. (Popular Heisei and Godzilla 2000 director Okawara specialized in removing humans as much as possible from the movies.) This time, Godzilla is not here to kill Destroyah or Megaguirus or chew on a nuclear power plant; he's here to stomp on US and burn US as we scream in helpless panic. He want to kill us all, seemingly just for the hell of it. There is one needlessly-vindictive scene involving a woman trapped in a hospital that dips into slasher-movie mentality, but the rest of this monster movie is Real Horror. We CANNOT evacuate fast enough. We CANNOT escape. Boom! Boom! Boom! He's right outside your window! What are you going to do? If you're lucky: scream, then die horribly. If you survive, anything from loss of loved ones to radiation poisoning to insanity is your Grand Prize. We're back in Original Godzilla territory here, kids--even Godzilla 1985 didn't make it back that far. I watched this in big-screen surround-sound, and I was almost sick during some scenes.

There's a quick "tribute" to the Shobijin/Cosmos, but Mothra's basically a supporting role in this picture, so the miniature babes it is always associated with do not appear. I would not have picked Mothra; the backstory is too integral, yet it will overwhelm everything else. (The Heisei Godzilla and Mothra is not a Godzilla movie; it is a Mothra movie with Godzilla making two guest appearances as a script prop.) The larva makes one appearance; the cocoon is discovered the next morning; then the adult Mothra hatches and fights Godzilla. Unfortunately, this brief appearance and lack of interaction leaves Mothra bereft of any "character;" even worse, it is suggested that the Mothra larva actually EATS a few "sinners." (Each of the "holy defenders" gets to punish some blasphemers.) But Mothra's just here to scrap, not save kids and tribbles--and does it well.

King Ghidorah--savior of mankind? That's a tough pill to swallow, but once he pops up and starts moving, you'll forget what a mean SOB he's been in the past. (King Ghidorah actually gets to interact--thrice--with people, so he comes off much better than Mothra. He just scares the hell out of a "sinner"--maybe fatally, we never find out--and saves a major cast member. Living well is the best revenge.)

Baragon gets a LOT of interaction with people, breaks a friend out of jail (!), and gets stand-alone scenes and a very good scrap in which he is clearly the underdog. Critics of the Heisei series complained about too much "beam-weapon" fighting, so I should point out here that GMK may suffer from too little; Baragon's got nothing but digging and biting--no "magma-ray" or glowing horn--Mothra has hooked claws and shrapnel (!!), but King Ghidorah's the only opponent who gets to unleash some energy-bursts into Godzilla's hide. There's plenty of very well-done physical fighting, but the addition of colorful, fiery blasts would've make it all even more intense.

Godzilla's ray is back to the classic style, but even more powerful; the first time he uses it, you'll be forever reminded of what he symbolizes. (Drop and cover! Drop and cover!!) Unfortunately, unlike Godzilla 2000 and Megaguirus, he uses it almost constantly thereafter, and it gets gradually less impressive--except for key battle scenes that will make the most jaded kaiju-fan's jaw drop.

The monster designs are effective. I'm not a big fan of any of them, though. Godzilla looks like he's, um, put on a few pounds, and Baragon's lost a few; Mothra's white-fuzz-and-purple-eyes combo freaks me out and King Ghidorah's...well, I actually miss the chaotically flailing heads. But Baragon's got the bug-eyed puppy-dog-from-hell look we know and love, Mothra's got long, moth-like legs for the first time, and King Ghidorah's got big honking fangs to sink into Godzilla's flesh and no longer has those thick-ankled, humanoid feet that look so odd.

(Feet remain a problem with kaiju suits. Godzilla looks silly kicking a downed opponent with those big clodhoppers, and Ghidorah's new claws still hang in the normal "standing" position even in flight. Even more than giant-robot heads that aren't actually designed to tilt back the way they appear to, feet are the single biggest "unsolved" rubber-suit issue. Fire Rodan and Gyaos are the only ones to break the rule. NOTE: this applies to suits, not "flying" props.)

Very minor quibbles aside, the special effects are fantastic. I promised no spoilers, so I can't go into detail, but the script is likewise well done, with an emotionally-engaging human storyline, and Kow Otani's score is SO perfect, the inclusion of Ifukube's Godzilla theme in the end credits alone seems totally out of place. I know that's blasphemy, but it's true. (A march from Monster Zero REALLY doesn't belong in the end credits; it's way too "jaunty" for the dark movie we've just witnessed. (Otani's score sounds weird by itself, but fits into the movie flawlessly. I thought it was going to be awful until I saw the film. Bear that in mind while sampling the score at http://www.godzillapalace.com/)

There are many things I didn't like and might have done differently, and there'll always be something different for every viewer to wince at. Personal gripey-gripey-gripes:

(1) Godzilla kicks up forty-foot waves on four occasions (three of them right in succession at the climax) that abruptly disappear, and the end of his climactic battle is surprisingly weak compared to a similar moment in the Heisei series--because anything more intense would've killed key cast members.

(2) You'll find out why Godzilla's belly is so damn big at the end of the movie, and it's not because he's preggers. I'm pretty sure his throat muscles are strong enough to squash that.

(3) Heisei-critics note: the wings still only "flap" in CGI; the wire-bourne suits are too damn heavy, even with no one inside, to get more than a light, shallow movement. (King Ghidorah's wingspan isn't very impressive, either, save for one CGI shot.) It's not Kawakita--it's physics. In fact, Kawakita's version of the adult Mothra's emergence from its cocoon in Godzilla and Mothra is still the best: GMK has a CGI version similar to scenes in Megagiras but it's not nearly as effective and the scene's too damn dark.

(4) Gyahhh! Too many minor characters! My program pictured almost thirty "cameos" with listings like "Couple in Hakone Taking Picture of Baragon" and "Man Taking A Leak." I hated the clowish celebrity cameos in Godzilla vs Space Godzilla, and this one's a lot more serious.

(5) You could've replaced the creepy old spook-man with a creepy version of the Cosmos, and it would've worked without letting Mothra take over the story. We could've even gotten a song! Hey, King Seesar got one...

Don't worry--you'll have forgotten all this by the time you get a subbed video from Video Daikaiju six months from now. Aw, don't be jealous. :) If you want more--including a spoiler-happy review or two you'll have to search for--visit Monster Zero at http://www.cinescape.com/godzilla/

Okay...where's Godzilla vs Gamera!?!

[Scott]

Great report Squishy, I'm really looking forward to this film

[Flangepart]

Wow! How some people suffer for their kaiju. But, dag man, what a review! Yeah, i have to get this flick....as well as the GXM. Its my lot in life.....your right about the fleeing factor. Even if you know exactly where Godzilla is comming from, the paniced populice will impede your flight. How fast does he move on average, anyway? 75-80 kph? Even with those fat feet, he must realy be trucking.

[StatCat]

Very nice extensive review, enjoyed it a lot. I still have yet to see GXM although also. Anyone know if there is any chance of this one being released domestically? I've been meaning to track down a copy somewhere but just never got around to it because of a lot of other different movies I've been seeing lately occupying my time. I've always been a fan of the older godzilla movies because of how bizarre they sometimes were but I do like quite a few that came out in the 1985- now era.

[Squishy]

I'm happy to pass on the news that, because of the unexpectedly high box-office gross of GMK, Toho's planned hiatus for Godzilla is CANCELLED. (Source: Monster Zero, see first post for URL)

Sony has been adamant about not releasing Megaguirus domestically in theatres OR video, but that will pass--they sat on the Heisei series for years before putting it on video, using existing dubbed Hong Kong versions. A "semi-legal" subtitled version can be found in a city with a Japantown, and Video Daikaiju (PO Box 185, Succasunna, NJ 07876) or other retailers online should have it.

Stop by Monster Zero and check out the super-sweet new-design models for Varan and Angilas, who where slated to appear in GMK but were pulled in favor of the more colorful and well-known Mothra and King Ghidorah.

(Three brownish reptiles, including Baragon? Okay, I can understand that...there's always next time. I wouldn't want the scripts to just repeat GMK over and over, but I'd like to see Godzilla face three south-seas Holy Defenders--the monsters from Yog! Monster From Space. Especially if you replace the turtle monster Gameba with the turtle monster Gamera. Manda, Biollante, and Battra could all have shots at defending Japan from the Big Meanie, too.)

[Hairzilla]

Ok, my desire to get my hands on a copy of GMK has now become an obsession that would dwarf Bruce Wanye's. Thanks, Squish', for pushing me over the edge with that killer review! Hahahaha! I envy you for getting to see it on the big screen!

Reading your excellent synopsis was, in fact, the inspiration for my subject of the day: Godzilla's feet! The worst moments in any given Godzilla film, I think, are the closeups of his big, flat feet trampling on whatever landscape he happens to be walking over. Instead of enhancing the illusion of an enormous creature crushing anything in his path, the illusion is totally destroyed by how bad it looks. The only instance that I would say is a worthy exception is a moment during his first appearance in GODZILLA 2000 where his feet are shown advancing onto a crowded street. But, that's not where I was really going with this.... 8)

What your descriptions really caused me to think about were the two worst, funniest feet flubs I've ever caught.

The first was in GODZILLA 1985 [I'm clearly in the minority on this one, but I think that, even with the American tampering, it's a great movie!], during the sequence where Godzilla attacks the nuclear plant. At one point there's a shot of Godzilla's lower leg crashing down through the plant's ceiling....which then just kind'a leans to one side and remains motionless. This is SUCH a bad moment that, no matter how much I love the big guy, I can't help but snicker. And the camera seems to stay on that motionless, leaning, prop leg for-freakin-ever! The sad thing is, I bet a shot like that could only be set up once.

The second isn't quite as obvious, but it looks just as bad when it comes. In GODZILLA 2000, as our intrepid heroes [Or would that be "incredibly stupid" considering what they're chasing after?] encounter Godzilla and haul @$$ backwards out of a tunnel to escape, Godzilla pursues them and one of his feet repeatedly crashes down into the tunnel. When the "imbecile" [Boy, did that little girl need a serious "time out"!] and company make it to the end of the tunnel, the camera pulls back enough so that both the tunnel and Godzilla are in the shot. The foot is still exactly where it had last smashed through, unmoving....while Godzilla is clearly advancing forward! ARGH! One of the best Godzilla moments ever filmed - besmirched! And,  if that wasn't bad enough, the foot itself is noticeably undersized in relation to the rest of Godzilla.

Hmmm...Maybe the fact that both films include year references in their titles had something to do with it?

Does anybody else have any favorite monster mistakes? [And Minya DOESN'T count.] Shadows noticably falling across "sky" backdrops? Roars coming from the wrong creature? Oops! This could get fun! I used to hang out with someone who, upon watching GODZILLA vs THE SEA MONSTER with me, swore that he could see eyeholes, and the distinct impression of the suit actor's face inside Godzilla's neck as he reared back his head and roared just before jumping off the island...[Ok, somebody go and check this out.]

[Squishy]

Oh, yeah--there are repeated boo-boos in suits, and the feet are just one major flaw.

My least-favorite aspect of the giant foot prop in Godzilla 1985 is the way the strangely-curved claws are trimmed flat at the very tips. A lot of the scenes using this prop were cut for the American release, and I was aghast when I saw the uncut Japanese original later...

Suit-feet are invariably puffy-looking, with usually with no suggestion of musculature and claws that don't look right because they stay so far off the ground. Kudos to Baby (Godzilla vs MechaGodzilla II) for breaking the rule; when it steps out of its egg, we see the foot touch the floor and the toes spread as weight is distributed through the foot. Wowwwww. If only the big 'uns could act like that, but it's not really feasible. Monster "jumps" and kicks invariably look foolish because, while the suit legs and feet might look good, the ankles and toes are usually incapable of suggesting realistic actions.

On the plus side, Kaneko finally shattered the "four-legged kaiju-crawl" rule in GMK--the actress inside the Baragon suit (yes, actress) said it gave her back spasms, but Baragon moves on all four feet instead of scrabbling about on his knees. Her knees. Um...

NOTE: If you don't want special moments from your favorite Godzilla movies ruined, you might want to stop here.

Megaguirus has a kaiju-jump that's pure camp, because of the no-muscle legs AND because the shot following the jump suggests that Godzilla gains a ridiculous amount of space. This was actually one of the director's favorite shots from the movie. (Every G-film has to have a "wince" moment, y'know. There's also a very painful scene, at the very climax, involving a major character and a public swimming pool--it's so conceptually idiotic I almost vomited. But you can't let these things ruin the Good Stuff.) GMK actually avoids showing the kaijus' feet, except when Godzilla is wielding them against an opponent, which looks just as bad as ever because he's clearly kicking with his toes still spread apart. Try that with a football--but be ready to start screaming. There is also a one-use foot prop in GMK which is damned effective but if you think about it, has its own flaw. No spoilers, though. Just forget about it. If you catch it, fine, if not, finer.

Eye-holes in Godzilla's neck are very visible in the light-fantastic climax of Godzilla vs Destroyah. Once you notice them, they never go away. Dammit.

Am I tripping, or is Battra's cry just Rodan's?

[Hairzilla]

>Kudos to Baby (Godzilla vs MechaGodzilla II) for breaking the rule; when it steps out of its egg, we see the foot touch the floor and the toes spread as weight is distributed through the foot, Wowwwww.

I thought that looked fantastic when I first saw it too, Squish'! Best Godzilla foot moment on film! As "suit feet" go overall, I'd have to say that the design for GODZILLA 2000 is by far the coolest and, for being "suitmation" [Which is how I've read the actual man-in-suit method refered to a couple of times], look the closest like what they're supposed to be.  

"I can't feel my toes! I DON'T HAVE ANY TOES!...I think I need a hug..."

 Even though I havn't actually seen GODZILLA vs MEGAGUIRUS yet [And, from most of the reviews I've read, I might just pass it by altogether when it inevitably hits our shores.], I've learned puh-lenty about the now famous [Or would that be "infamous"?] Godzilla jump! I even saw a still shot of it once, but I'm sure that it doesn't even compare to watching the actual scene! Sheesh, didn't Toho learn it's lesson with making Godzilla fly? However, a possible explanation could be that they might have been trying to show that Godzilla is capable of the same kind of agility as the dinosaur he originally was. But, not having actually seen the movie, that's just pure speculation on my part, and the need to inject some dignity into what sounds like a truly ridiculous moment.

>NOTE: If you don't want special moments from your favorite Godzilla movies ruined, you might want to stop here.    

I know you were refering to the flubs that you were about to point out, Squish', but I REALLY hope that I didn't inadvertantly do that exact thing with MY earlier comments, either for you or anybody else. I meant for my "foot" observations, as well as noting those made by an old friend regarding the scene from GODZILLA vs THE SEA MONSTER, to be non-spoiling jabs at goof ups obvious enough that most hardcore fans, like us and a few others that usually contribute to the "giant monster" threads, probably didn't miss them to begin with. The possiblity of ruining a scene for someone else hadn't even occured to me, and I certainly wouldn't want that to be the case without providing a heads up first.  

>Am I tripping, or is Battra's cry just Rodan's?

YEAH! Hahahaha! But that little factoid didn't actually hit ME until I watched GODZILLA vs MECHAGODZILLA 2, [Where's "1" blast it!] and I realized that Battra and Rodan sounded exactly the same! And how about Space Godzilla's roar having that recognizable bit of Gigan's mixed in? [I wonder if that would fall under "sampling"?] Hahahaha! To add to these, I SWEAR that there is at least ONE, blatant use of an Amerizilla roar in GODZILLA 2000. My guess would be that, if it's true, it's done as a subtle "in-your-face".

>Eye-holes in Godzilla's neck are very visible in the light-fantastic climax of Godzilla vs Destroyah. Once you notice them, they never go away. Dammit.

I can't say that I've actually seen those yet. [Then again, I couldn't make out what my friend saw either.] But I will tell you that I've had an IDENTICAL experience with a scene from a certain animated Disney movie, and once "the scene" comes it's all I can look at.

[Squishy]

Don't pass up Megaguirus, friend. You've survived far worse moments in Godzilla movies than the few bloops in GXM, and the superb moments far outweigh the turds. Hell, everything prior to the opening title card alone, was worth the price of admission in Japan, and there's plenty of other goodies. Ignore the plot-device Kenny and you'll be okay.

The Jump would not have looked bad at all, had it not been preceeded by a shot of Godzilla's feet leaving the ground. As we've been discussing, the suit feet couldn't convey the power and spring required--consequently, the height Godzilla is falling from in the next shot is not even remotely believable.

(And no, my spoiler-warning wasn't aimed at you; it's just...whenever those eye-holes announce their presence, it ruins the scene for me. If someone else doesn't notice them, I don't want to point and shriek, "Look! LOO-OOO-OOK!")