OT: New Cleaning Product

[Bazarov]

This may seem like a joke but I can swear to you it is not.  My mom came home from sharper image the other day with a box marked special order, we are, I guess I can just say rich so I expected some awsome electroic device.  I was in for a surprise.  My mom left it on the kitchen table and I kept playing counterstrike, the next thing i know my mom walks back in with all our rolls of toliet paper and throws them away.  I thought she may be having some kind of fit about how we dont clean the house, and was gonna be on strike or something.  Turns out inside the box was what she called a revolution of tolietree products.  It was a 2 foot tall machine with a open slot sort of like a cd rom drive with no door.  Next to it was 8 bags of individualy wrapped toweletts. There were about 60 to a bag.  I saw my mom start putting the towelettes on a small silver platter and carry them into the bathroom humming.  At this point I was looking at her like she lost her mind and she filled me in.  She is a flight attendent and spends alot of time over seas flying on private gulfstreams, she came across a product called "Butt-TOX Shammys" (no lie) in Viet Nam.  That was the american name under the Vietnames writing, she explained to me that instead of tolliet paper we would be using these indvidually wrapped moist towels from now on, and that they had cleaning and anti bacteria on them as well as the water.  They are disposible, the two foot tall machine i mentioned earlyier turned out to be a "Butt-TOX Shammy disposile unit".  You whipe with the moist cloth and then fold it up and feed it into the machine which puts it in a plastic bag inside and melt seals it when completed.  I ask my mom why she got it and she said we were no longer going to live like primitve animals and that this was a much more "sanitary" means of self cleaning.  Apperntly the only way to order it was Speical Order sharper Image becase that chain buys other product of the Shammys manufacturer.  I strongly suggest next time you are in Sharper Image you inquire about purchasing a "Butt-TOX Shammy Kit" special order, if you ask they can input it into their computers and it comes up, My mom said she heard about it when a CE0 she was flying was raving about it.  I have to admit I love the Shammy, I have never felt so clean, It is in my mind one of the greatest inventions, and I will never clean myself the old way ever again. (When in public you can bring a few in your pocket it and dispose of it in their trash,) DO NOT FLUSH.  Go to sharper image and tell them your intrested in reciving by mail a "Butt-TOX shammy trial kit/shammy refill" Disposlie unit not included and my mom says they will mail you samples, for the cost of a shammy refill.  PLEASE TRY THIS PRODUCT IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

[ulthar]

Is this spam?

[Ed, Ego and Superego]

Ya think?
-Ed

[Scottie]

Hey, I'm sold.

*picture of butt with a little white sparkle*

[Bazarov]

NO THIS IS NOT SPAM, I saw a post off topic about people fav. toliet paper brands, I got the shammy set a few days ago and I thought wait untill these guys here this and I wanted to make a new topic becase people need to hear about this

[Flangepart]

Oh, we NEED to hear about this....kinda like Scientology, The average infomercial, and the National Star Regestery.
Try agine, Bucko....

[Ed, Ego and Superego]

What I wanna know is why throw out perfectly good toilet paper in favor of an untried plastic gizmo.  At least WAIT until the thing is installed and tested.  Heck, it probably leaves a terrible rash.  Or maybe just puts the towls back in the machine for re-use!   And now we have an anus evangelical, justo top it off!  

Ok, way too much thought going into this.  
-Ed

[raj]

What about the sea shells.  How exactly do they get used.

[LH-C]

Haven't you heard of a bidet? They also make lids with bidet features so that you don't have to install anything truly complicated.

[Ed, Ego and Superego]

HA, bidet...in my day we just walked through the sprinkler on the way back from the outhouse.
-Ed

[LH-C]

LMAO...good one, Ed!

[trekgeezer]

Yeah Ed, but you didn't mention using last year's Sears and Roebuck catalog for toilet paper.

[Zapranoth]

(Hey everybody.. Raj doesn't know how to use the three seashells!)

[Bazarov]

YOU PEOPLE MAKE FUN OF MY POST I DONT MAKE FUN OF YOU FOR FAV. TOLIET PAPER BRAND/ SALESMEN SHIP SHAMELESS PLUGS, OR YOUR OFF TOPIC FAV. TYPE OF BURRITO  WHICH IS JUST AS DUMB, WAY TO SHOW YOUR TRUE COLORS GUYS WAY TO BE PRETENTIOUS JERKS

[dean]

Hey Bazza?  

Not meaning to be too much of a pretentious jerk, but the toilet paper thread copped alot of crap too, pun slightly intended, so don't let it get to you that people are having fun with this post in a different way than you'd like.  You even started this thread telling us this wasn't a joke thread, because obviously you knew that it's a little 'out there.'

Look at almost any stupid off topic post and you'll get the same smart alec responses.

As for the actual topic, I'm glad you've found your own piece of heaven-in-a-box but methinks it's a little too crazy for me just now: the good ol' TP will serve me fine.  That is unless I get to the stage of my life when I start shouting at people 'nothing but the finest silks and furs will grace my behind!!!'

And yes, throwing the existing toilet paper out before you even try the machine seems quite odd, and is bound to put someone in a pretty sticky situation if things went, well, south...