akiratubo
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 480
Posts: 3801
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« on: July 15, 2006, 04:49:47 AM » |
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I ... uh ...
This thing is hard to describe.
There are these two guys. They crash on this planet that may be a piece of the Earth that was blown into space thousands of years ago. There are some people, some mummies, and some fuzzy monsters. There are also some robots and other monsters.
The two guys fight them.
There's this girl, and this little kid. The older of the two guys stares at them and they occasionally smile.
"The Wizard" captures the two guys. They fight their way out and train to defeat The Wizard by punching rocks.
The younger of the two guys is captured. The older of the two guys goes to retrieve a magic sword and a golden brain from an ancient Mosque. There, he learns a lesson about how Mohammed, Christ, and the Aztecs were all related and, possibly, from space.
The older guy rescues the younger guy and they fight some monsters, robots, and other things. The younger guy buys it trying to defeat The Wizard. The Wizard touches the sword and the brain and becomes all powerful.
The older guy melts down the brain and sword, dips his hands and feet in the molten slag, and uses his new magic, gold-plated hands and feet to fight more monsters, robots, and other things. His new hands and feet give him the power to punch things in half. After punching in half literally every other character in the movie besides the girl and the kid, he punches The Wizard in half.
The End
Oh, and the special effects shots from Star Wars (1977) are placed randomly throughout this movie. It also makes use of the scores from Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) and Flash Gordon (1980).
Dunyayi Kurturan Adam is The Movie, the one I've been looking for all my life. I might as well never even watch another movie again, for I have found Nirvana.
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