Tim & Randy Discuss Bad Movies - 4.3: Cannibal Hookers (1987)

[Marklevitz]

Watch Randy Colburn discuss his hatred for one of the worst horror movies ever made!!!  It's brutal.  Enjoy!!!  And if you wanna talk about your cameras and cars, that's fine... as long as you're checking out our videos.  We do these for you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZFqqPNZM6A
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[Ash]

I'll just say this...

Your commentary would be good if you mixed it in with scenes from the film you're talking about.

Want my honest opinion?
It was boring.

You've gotta include more than just a guy sitting in a chair or on a couch talking about the film.
Sure, you had a graphic or two...but it wasn't enough.
(the graphic looked good by the way)

And the guy talking about the film has to have his s**t memorized so he doesn't need to keep glancing down....
Watching him constantly looking down, assumingly at a paper with his notes on it, and all the "umms" he said almost made me want to stop the video but I gave you guys the benefit of the doubt and watched the entire thing.

Nowadays, anyone can make a video and post it on YouTube.
You guys need that "magical something extra" to make people really get into what you're talking about and I'm sorry to say that you haven't quite got it yet.

I wanted to see you talking about the film but I also wanted to see the specific scenes you were referring to.
It's gonna take some serious editing to do that.

And buy a better camera.
The video quality was really bad.

I'll sell you the camera I have for sale!
I guarantee you that it'll produce better quality videos than whatever you're using now.
And it includes editing software!

Work on it.

[odinn7]

There you have it...brutal honesty by ASH! lol!!!

[Ash]

odinn7 Wrote:
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There you have it...brutal honesty by ASH! lol!!!

Yep...I'm a regular Simon f**king Cowell!

Look guys, I'm only giving serious constructive critism.
If you got mad at what I said, then it only reinforces the points I made.
Basically what I'm saying is that you guys need to stand out from the rest of the crowd and so far, you aren't.

And by the way, is that "Better Than Ezra" you're using for your theme music?

So, are you interested in that camera?
I'll give you a good deal!

[Marklevitz]

HA!  I love it!!!  Actually, most of our stuff is shot on a DVX, so we're not looking to buy anything new... yet.  But we shot these videos without the DVX, because it was far away.  We don't plan to shoot these things, they just sort of happen, so we take what we can get.  We've had a lot of criticism on why we don't show the clips and why do we talk so long, and what not.  And I think for our 5th episode, we're really going to take all of that into consideration.  The problem is that my friend Randy and I live about 500 miles from one another, so it isn't always easy.  Right now, I think it's better just to get the information out there.  I believe people will watch if what we have to say is funny.  And I don't know, I think we're funny... sometimes.  We'll give it a shot though.  Tim and Randy Discuss Bad Movies 5 will be f**king epic!!!  It might not happen for a while though.  Thanks!

[Ash]

Yo Markle...
You be sure to forward my comments on to your buddy.
He could learn a thing or two.
Same goes for you too.

And be sure to ask him if he's interested in buying that camera!

[dean]

Wow Ash is really putting the hard sell on for that camera.  [and no I've already got one Ash, I'm not buying yours, even if it's a nice one, which it is!]

But as for putting videos up on youtube, pretty much any video camera will do the job since the quality is going to be compressed anyways when you finish the final product, so having a good camera is only going to fix a few issues, which in your case you don't have anyways.

[no I'm not trying to screw you out of a sale Ash :-P Skaboi's already on the hook anyways! It is a good one, well worth a buy!]

Anyways, I finally got around to watching some of your stuff.  I have to say, 4.2 and 4.3 aren't too bad, but some of the other stuff is a bit better.  Only by a little though!

You guys are doing pretty much what I've been playing around with for a while: doing stupid videos and posting them online for fun.

It's obvious that you guys like these movies, which is fantastic to see.  That enthusiasm is pretty much the main selling point for you guys.  I do appreciate a good rant, and whilst they weren't perfect, they weren't that boring to me.

Sometimes you guys acting out the 'highlights' [such as in the Across the Tracks' one] is probably a bit funnier than just showing the clip anyways!  But for the most part, your reviews would be alot funnier if I knew the movies already.

But that certainly doesn't mean that you should just review the known stuff.  Educate the masses on the obscure!  But a few clips/graphics here and there would make it more mainstream, but if you're just doing it for fun, which it seems that you are, I'd just say keep doing what you're doing.  At least someone is out there spreading the good word about bad-movies!

So overallI thought it was pretty good, but if you're after a more proffessional, slick operation, especially with a more mainstream appeal, I'd go with some of the above suggestions of adding clips from the movies, or graphics, or just anything to break it up and not be just a long rant.  Though I have to say, ranting for so long in pretty much one take tells me that with a bit of planning you guys could probably come up with something magical pretty easily.  You guys are the type I'd love to hang out with and just relax and laugh at the terrible junk that's out there!

Quick question: are you guys film/media/cultural studies-type students?  I mean, Randy uses the word post-modern wayyyyyy too much to be a normal student who just happens to like bad movies...

But yeah, just keep doing what you're doing and with a bit of fine tuning I'm sure the other board members will come around eventually!  Who knows, maybe I'll get off my lazy arse and make one of my own, though I'd probably do it slightly differently myself, since I'll take any excuse to pretend to act to mess around with a camera!  :-P

[Ash]

I admit I was kind of harsh.
At least you guys are doing something positive.
You guys could be doing much worse things like robbing people or stealing cars.

And I figured the somewhat poor video quality was due to Youtube.

And Skaboi didn't buy the camera.

[dean]

ASHTHECAT Wrote:
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> I admit I was kind of harsh.
> At least you guys are doing something.
> You guys could be doing much worse things like
> robbing people or stealing cars.
>
> And I figured the somewhat poor video quality was
> due to Youtube.
>
> And Skaboi didn't buy the camera.


Hehe, I know you were just helping.  The criticism of Ashthecat strikes hard like a sledgehammer sometimes, but it's all constructive.  I guess I'm too nice because I'm a fan!

But hey, instead of selling the camera, how about an Ashthecat segment?  That's definitely something I'd like to see!  Though in my mind's eye it's just funnier since I still have that cowboy outfit pic you posted in Odinn7's costume thread in my head still!

Hmmm... interesting actually.  My mind is ticking over the possibilities...  A round the world b-movie review segment.  Well, international at least...  especially since at least four people here have expressed interest in doing 'something' with the video format.  I wonder what we could come up with...

Needs more thought, and I'm certainly not the guy to look at to complete a task, but it's an idea nonetheless!

[Marklevitz]

Dean,

You wanted to know what our backgrounds are, so I'll give you the quick answer.  Randy and I met in 2004 during our senior year at Central Michigan University.  He was a theater major, and I was into Broadcasting and Cinematic Arts.  Randy is a great writer.  He writes amazing scripts for both stage and screen.  We have worked together on NUMEROUS short films.  He writes the scripts, I direct the movies, and sometimes he acts in them.  Randy is currently a grad-student in Southern Illinois focusing on creative writing, I believe.  We don't get together very often, but when we do it's all about discussing bad movies.  Our varrying degrees of education are clearly shown in our rants.  Randy has a huge vocabulary (he even makes up words, such as "afterlude"), and I stick to what I think is funny.  Basically, if it makes me laugh, I talk about it, whether it be a funny facial expression or a sound effect or whatever.  Thanksgiving will be the next time Randy and I get together.  We're going to do a lot of ranting for you guys.  I don't want to give away too much, but, your suggestions are all being taken into consideration and I think you're going to like our new direction.  Thanks for the advice.

[dean]

Marklevitz Wrote:
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> Dean,
>
> You wanted to know what our backgrounds are, so
> I'll give you the quick answer.  Randy and I met
> in 2004 during our senior year at Central Michigan
> University.  He was a theater major, and I was
> into Broadcasting and Cinematic Arts.  

Hehe, I thought so...

So you got any films that you've posted up on youtube?  Anyways, can't wait for the next installment.  I'm curious as to what you guys will come up with.

[Marklevitz]

We have some on YouTube, but our better stuff can be found at our website: www.a-okfilms.com

[Flangepart]

Ash does have a point, about the reading.
Just watch the pros do it. Even people who use teleprompters can avoid looking like they use one. A Tele-PROMPTER helps you keep track of where your going, while allowing you to ad lib some. If you know what you want to say,the best way to project that, is practice, practice, practice! Eventualy, the speaking will become easier. Trust me on this.
Also, depending on the gear you have to work with, you might do some post-production to add visuals to a tape of the finished speaking parts.