Troll II

[Jim]

It's been a long, long time since I've seen this movie, but for some reason it has stuck in my mind. Unlike other B-movies, this is the bad kind of stuck. I guess it scarred me for life. I'm glad I can finally "exercise these demons." Where do I start? The kid p**sing on the food (that looks suspicious to begin with. I have no idea why anyone would eat that crap), the never-ending streams of uninteresting green blood, the sign being spelled backwards (as if you couldn't figure it out), and the fact that they actually made a sequel to Troll. This is not a guilty pleasure movie, it's just guilty.

[James Perry]

God this films sucks!  I wonder why this never appeared on MST3K?  They (and WE) would've had a ball!  When Mystery Science Theater 4000 kicks off (just wishful thinking) this should be the debut episode.  Are you listening Sci-Fi Channel?  

HOBGOBLINS beat this out by a few votes on imdb.com's bottom 100.  In my opinion HOB is slightly better than this.  Well, lemme put that another way.  HOB isn't as all out baaaaad.  And HOB had an actor go on to be in a classic flick (the dude at the high School cafeteria...er, night club I mean, was in Pulp Fiction).

Best thing about Trolls 2 is anything I watch next is going to be damn good!

BTW...kind of like explaining to your kid about humping dogs ("The dog on the bottom is choking on a bone and the one on top is helping him out, honey.") the guys sleeping in the extremely small bed together are brothers.  No problem.

[Dave]

After seeing this movie on cinemax several years ago, I have to say that this movie still cracks me up and should be the worst movie of all time!  To put it nicely, everything about the movie sucks.  For some reason, I like s**tty movies though.  The thing that surprises me the most is that they actually converted this crapfest to DVD.  Congratulations!

[PikachuManson]

Why did they call it Troll 2 if it has no troll in it!! It's terrible. One of the worst movies I have ever seen.
The only reason I got it was because it was a two for one deal at the local mall. It came with Troll 1 on a double sided DVD. I liked the first one and i had wanted to see it again. Yeah, I could tell this one was gonna be stinker as I read the plot summary. Really, you could find better acting watching Power Rangers. For B-Movie afficionados this ranks right up there with Killer Tomatoes

[Dan]

Check the Troll 2 Music video out:

http://www.tedel.com/media/video/Hunger%20Pains.avi

[MattyD]

Troll 2 is the kind of all B-Movies.  No movie is as poorly and well delivered as this absolute Gem.  

The scripting is terrible, the execution of effects is hillarious, but I aboslutely adore this movie.  God bless you Italian Soft Core Porn directors for making this visual-bible.

[Sheba]

Okay, so I just bought the Troll/Troll2 DVD tonight. The original Troll was one of my childhood favorites (I watched it every chance I got; when I was ten and we got cable, that was twice a day for a month on HBO), and I was anxious to watch it again. It was as good (and bad) as I remembered it. I'd never seen Troll 2, but I'd heard it was pretty rank.

I had no idea. I mean really. A couple of previous posters said it made them literally physically ill... I thought I was going to have a seizure. The halted dialogue... I swear, listening to the teenagers talk was like watching some painful school play. And the dad had to have been some sort of caveman. I haven't seen acting so awful since... well, since ever. Maybe I've led a sheltered life.

Honestly, I couldn't tell whether it was the actors' deliveries that were at fault or some seriously sh***y writing. I've made movies better than this, and I've made some seriously BAD movies (ah, the high school years; how I'll treasure them).

I'll have to watch this again, with some alcohol and several of my close friends. You know, share the tortu-- I mean, love.

[WitchKing]

I very nearly laughed myself to death when I saw this.  Every moment is more eye-openingly insane than the next.  This script could only have come from an untreated head injury.  Too many jaw-droppingly hilarious moments to name them all.  My two faves are when the mother tells the stupid kid to forget about his grandfather's ghost and has him sing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" and when the kid p**ses on the dinner table to save his family.  Troll II.  Long may it live.

[CourtneyC]

Oh MAN, one of the greatest films ever made. And I mean that in the following way: if great movies make you laugh so hard you pee, and you and your friends can giggle over them together days later, and you love it so much you actually special order the DVD for a friend...then this was a great one.

Nilbog. Classic. No, wait. Better than classic. HAHAHA I can't even think about it without guffawing. Oh man. heh.

[Zack]

  I have seen this movie.  And I have told my friends about it... a lot of them just plain cracked up at "The goblins are monsters that make you eat something that turns you into a plant thing, which they end up eating because (obviously) they're vegitarions".

[Jimbo]

Joshua has a myspace site!

http://tinyurl.com/jhqwm

[MAX ALAN ZOLLER]

I saw this yesterday...hahahahahaha! For the entire film I tried to think who was the best actor. I struggled. Maybe the kid...no... The worst must have been the mother, thank god she got eaten in the end. Row row row yer boat!

[Brandon McMahan]

I just saw this last night, and boy was I ever impressed.  Such an amazingly beautiful film.  Cinematic orgasms like this one make turds like Citizen Kane look even more like turds like Citizen Kane.  If you truly want to be touched on an emotional level hitherto found only in deep personal meditation, and the reading of the Lord's word, you really need to see this film.  A masterpiece from beginning to end.  Every character, every camera angle, every subtle nuance of the musical score... perfectly accenting one another to make a movie experience you will never forget.  I just wish I had some doughnuts with green dogs**t smeared all over them, so my constipated son could p**s on them, and when I carried upstairs on my shoulder, my wife would yell behind me "Please don't hit 'im!"  and when I got in my room I could give a speech about you "Don't p**s on hospitality"  I'd also tighten my belt one notch to stave off the hunger pangs.  You know... since I didn't get to eat the dogs**t doughnut.  

[CALLUM SANDERSON]

"Never mind her...DRINK YOUR BROTH!"
"Open your mouth my little friend."
"We were just givin' him some ice cream."
"Is that the voice of your dead grandfather?"..."yeeessss!"
"Green...the color of sap!" (Sap is green?)

Suffice to say, every line of diologue is a work of art. Brava Nilbog...brava Troll 2.

THE COLOUR OF THE GOBLINS, THE COLOUR OF SAP

the goblins were white as well :P
and then he says'' and then she appaerd to him, what she realy was, horrible and mocking''
changed into what granpa? ''half man, half plant, the goblins favroute food!''
I NEVER SAW HER TURN INTO HALFPLANT HALF MAN, IT WAS PETER, BUT HE WAS CLEARY TALKIN ABOUT HER ;P
TROLL1 WAS BETTER, BUT I LIKE THE FEEL TO TROLL, WHEN THERE IN CAR DRIVE PAST MOUNTIANS AND THE MUSIC, ITS HARD TO THINK THAT TOROK ON TROLL1 was in the same universe as that heh
i like when the drug/general store guy, pops from behind curtian, he rocked, his teeth and eyes when he said R U FEELING ALRIGHJT? lol
and the goblins [and that werid headed old women] OPEN UR MOUTH MY LITTLE FRIEND hehe

sheriff gene freak '' HAHA THE GIRLS'' i love that part,
notice the goblins at the end, were the presents, and the father said ''want some.. joshua'' in torok type voice ;p


the country, redneck, hillbilly music was cool to 

[rekooh nilbog]

When I started seeing clips from this cinematic gem on YouTube, I thought it was a hoax. Amazingly so, I turned on the television last week and saw this movie in full. It is profound in its horrifically bad production. I recall a home video of my sister picking and flicking her nose that had better aesthetic potential than this drivel.