Robo C.H.I.C.

[peter johnson]

Nicely done -- made me laugh a lot.  Oh, we had so many problems with this film -- funny you should mention Tracy Lords, as she was originally set to replace Kathy Shower when she quit.  Oddly enough, all the Robochic shots you have here for the cyborg are of Jennifer Estrada, the gal who replaced Kathy, the ostensible star.
Thanks for including a shot of me as Gimp.  You should have mentioned more of the cast members by name:  Jack Carter, Burt Ward, Phil Proctor & Kip King, all of whom have big-screen credits in actually GOOD movies! -- well, maybe not Burt . . .
Ah, my brush with immortality -- now what is this hissing from the package you sent me?

[Liquid Shit]

Oh man, for some reason I can't wait to watch this movie. I found it the local video god retailers (they have nearly EVERY movie EVER there) and I am just like, drooling over this film. After two shut out there looking for Peepers and Jacker II, the final attempt to find Robo CHIC ended with sweet victory. Andrew, I hope you don't let me down on this one. I'm expecting to be diving into one huge s**t hole here... Don't let me enjoy this.

[pete krug]

I am in total agreement with the writer of this review. This movie SUCKED ASS!!! Now, you can tell the filmmakers weren't being at all serious when they made this, but it's not "so stupid it's funny", as it clearly tries to be. Instead, it's so stupid it's just annoying and often painfully so. For anyone who wants to see a cheesy film that's actually fun, go see KILLER CLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE, or ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES, or something by the master of bad films, Ed Wood. This movie is just a complete waste of precious time and money.

[IAN]

After watching this movie i have lost 98 points of my precious IQ which was low enough already.  If there is anyone who enjoyed this movie i will personally go to there place of dwelling and kill them with a stick.  This Movie can make you legally retarded and has made me so sick that i have pooped out my spleen.  I am now going to destroy the VCR and blow up the video store for having any affiliation to this movie.  I hope the director and cast of robo chic, minus the cast member who sent in the movie to the site, get in a massive car accident which tears their internal organs out so that the land on their faces and they have to watch their various organs bleed and goop on them.  DIE ROBO CHIC DIE!!!!!!!!  (Robo chic had a penis!)

[Taylor Bays]

Ya know what? I went blind after watching this movie. In fact, I'm having another person write this for me because I am in so much pain. I hate this movie soooooo much. I cannot describe my intense hatred for this movie and anyone who had any affiliation with it. I'm not exaggerating. I hate this damned movie. I hated every second of this stupid movie and became so dumb by watching it, I vomitted out a big wad of foam and believed that I was a glass of milk. I will track down the director of this movie and slowly torture him until he dies. At no point during this ninety seven of hellish idiocy did anything connect plot-wise. It wasn't even bad in a funny way. It was just bad. Horrid. It left the taste of dead wombat fetuses in my mouth. That's how bad it was.

[Frost]

 Hey at least Robo chick had a nice perm going on for her...
Ok so it was a wig, big F'ing deal

[Andrew]

Just saw this film, nearly poked my eyes out with the remote. Question: Why was the cast only sorry for the bison, and Native Americans on the great plains? Don't other people live there? Isn't that where a majority of our food is grown? Question: Why did the Sulfur Fields shot look exactly like the Great Plains? Question: Why didn't money for this movie go to something more appealing, like drowning cats in a burlap. Seriously, I thought the skull rating was only a guideline. This thing was like knee to the groin, after poor home castration efforts.

[peter johnson]

y'know what?  i don'y believe any of you have seen this but andrew & pjfilmer, because only pj makes any reference to the film.
you all should really watch it -- you may enjoy it!!
gimp the satan's onion

[david]

Bravo, a true skull-and-bones rated movie if there ever was one. Just plain awful.

[nat fowler]

Such hatred... I love this movie. I havent watched it in 12 years but man, this was my bread and butter in high school.  I only started to search for it again last week when someone laughed hard when i used 'cognosciente' in a sentence where it was obviously out of place. Now my search is on. Who wants to send me their cassette?!!
 so many golden moments that i'm remembering;
the 'fish' in jail, "Live und learrn", "f**k off everybody" and "i HATE being bloody obvious!"
 how can you hate a movie that has so much love for finishing a disaster?!

[Nat Munari]

Ahhhh. RoboC.H.I.C.
 I posted on this board 2 years ago in my search for the cassette. I found it only days later on Amazon for 3 dollars. As soon as it arrived I threw a big party and 10 of my friends who had met me after high school all of a sudden realized where i got all my quotes. The film is now living among all my other favorites; to its right on the shelf is Paosolini's Decameron and to its left is 2001. Fitting bookends.
 More films of low quality (and I work on them so i know) need to have scripts of this quality. Double entendre lines like "..at Van Dyke park, next to the statue of Dick Van Dyke" are worth a million dollars, at least.
 It's like an easter egg that keeps on giving.
viva ROBOC.H.I.C.

[Jeff Mandel]

I am Jeff Mandel.  It is said that I wrote and directed ROBO-C.H.I.C.  It is hard to know who’s telling the truth.  I directed a film very much like ROBO-C.H.I.C. for almost 2 terrible, difficult weeks before being told that Kathy Shower had died and I had better watch my back.  I quickly fled to Los Angeles to attend her funeral.  At the memorial service in Beverly Hills I got an odd feeling.  The mourners looked worried, not sad. And where was “Hef?”  Then I realized the priest was speaking Latin, all right, but it was PIG-Latin!  I rushed to the casket and threw open the lid.  To my horror, it was ME lying there in the coffin and my big clock had melted.

I approach every film I make as a comedy.  But ROBO-C.H.I.C. was already a comedy and so I made the bold creative choice to approach it as origami.

However when I saw some of the footage that had been shot after my sudden, unscripted departure by another director (possibly from another script,) I knew the thing was going down and taking everyone with it.

I instantly called the producers and demanded that my name be taken off ROBO-C.H.I.C.  I was told that it was too late, the film had already been playing on USA Network for three years.  Now my career was ruined!  

Or so I thought.  

I’ve kidded around a lot here, but the following is true, so help me:  

ROBO C.H.I.C. was made in 1989 or 1990 (depending on who you believe.)  Flash forward to March 1994 and I’m stepping off the plane in Hong Kong.  

Hong Kong!  The land of the stinky bean curd!  

While bending over in immigration, I saw a film magazine on the floor.  They don’t have prestigious journals like we have here, only fan magazines like “Teen Beat” and gossip rags.  But there is one highly-respected quarterly that has the dull translated name, “City Entertainment.”  I opened it up and inside were City Entertainment’s Five Laserdisc Picks as the Best Films of the Year.  You guessed it:  1. Indochine, 2. Coppola’s Dracula, 3. dePalma’s Raising Caine, 4. Some HK flick and 5 – yes—number 5 was ROBO-C.H.I.C.!  I swear to you this is true!

As a result, I was a mini-celebrity in Hong Kong.  To this day, I still get a Christmas card every year from John Woo.

On a personal note: I kidded him, but I would like to say that Peter Johnson performed admirably in both ROBO-C.H.I.C. casts and I would like to formally offer him the role of [whatever his character was called] in the upcoming Broadway adaptation, "CYBER-W.O.M.A.N./CYBER-M.A.N."

[Isabella]

You say :"Give me a few hours with some Craftsman tools and I'll set human rights back several hundred years (only a couple of hundred for Spain)"


We read this here in Spain.
Pleassssseeeee!!!

[white squirrel]

An absolutely brilliant movie!!!  I've seen it about a dozen times since the early 90's and it just keeps on getting better!  I showed it to my friends at a "bad movie" festival while we stayed up all night playing speed chess (yeah, I was a geek at the time)  and we burst out laughing at several of the scenes.  ("I'm no Bimbo, Bambi...") Gilbert Godfrey would have been proud.  But if you pay attention to some of the characters in the movie, you'll notice a lot of idiotic mannerisms, not unlike the buffoons from  "Monty Python and the Holy Grail". (e.g. one of the bikers can't shoot his shotgun...he always shoots the ground; Burt Ward/Harry Truman Hodgkins (who played Robin) keeps repeating the same speech about thermonuclear devices when questioned at various points in the movie;  the biker gang leader is dislexic as are some of the guards)  The real impact of the movie became clear to me, years later, when I read about the local marathon and how a married couple had cheated ... this according to the "running COGNOSCENTE".   So if you like bad movies and have an insatiable appetite for inane, mentally retarded humor, then you'll love this flick.

[bear-lunged moth]

 I can't quite believe there's ever sb able to think up this...worse:this sb not only reasoned sth that abominable but it was far enough so as to take it real- this flick really exists!