"Edited for TV" replaced swears

[MoronBoy]

Have you ever watched your favorite foul-mouthed flicks in their "edited for tv" versions? Sometimes the replacements for the swear words can be funnier, more nonsensical, or maybe even more disgusting than the original dialogue.

Some examples I find interesting:

Never seen it, but I heard the TV version of Repo Man replaces "MF" with "Mellon Farmer." weird choice

Basketball was on TV the other night, and I caught the part where Cooper and Reamer were belittle Squeak. The line "Yeah, but you're a piece of S***" was replaced with "Yeah, but you're a piece of *Shrimp*."

The TV version of Mallrats has too many to list. One sticks out, though. Brody and TS are talking about being dumped by their girlfriends. In the original version, Brody asks, "Did you ever fart in front of here?" On the tube, the line is changed to "Did you ever *vomit* in front of her?" Brody then goes on to say that he did one time when his girlfriend was "making out with him." The original movie line may have been more vulgar(what she was doing when he "farted"), but the edited version is just flat out disgusting.

What are some of your favorite "Edited for TV" dialogue changes?

[StackAttack]

the only one that comes to mind is the Goodfellas tv edit (too many to list but i thought they were all funny). most of the movies i see on tv just blank out the words instead of replacing them these days.

[Mr_Vindictive]

You beat me to the mellon-farmer one from Repo Man.  That still stands as my favorite of all time.

I also caught Baseketball on Fuse the other night.  I have it on VHS somewhere but haven't watched it in ages.  They cut some of the best parts of the film, like the licking of the dildo and Reamer pulling the pube from his teeth.

[The Burgomaster]

How about the edited version of SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER.  When Travolta and his buddies pretend to fall off the bridge, Donna Pescow yells, "You fakers!"  instead of "You f^&*ers!"

Or THE EXORCIST when they replaced "Your mother sucks c#&@s in hell" with "Your mother still rots in hell."

[Mr_Vindictive]

How about the edited version of SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER.  When Travolta and his buddies pretend to fall off the bridge, Donna Pescow yells, "You fakers!"  instead of "You f^&*ers!"

Or THE EXORCIST when they replaced "Your mother sucks c#&@s in hell" with "Your mother still rots in hell."

I can't ever hear someone say that Exorcist line without wanting to yell "YOUR MOTHER SOWS SOCKS THAT SMELL" from the old SNL skit.  Hilarious.

[Joe]

"where'd ya get that scar? eatin pineapple?"

makes me laugh everytime

[zombie no.one]

 Robocop: scene where robocop walks in on some guy holding up a store, and the guy starts shooting robocop, who keeps walking towards the guy, in the original the guy's shouting  "f**k ME!!! f**k ME!!!" etc, but in the dubbed version he screams "WHY ME!!! WHY ME!!!" which always struck me as lame.

there's another line from a different film but I cant remember the film. anyway, someone asks someone else what some type of food tastes like, and the person replies  "Well you can eat it...but it tastes like crap". in the TV version "crap" is overdubbed with "dung". wtf? really big difference that makes...Im sure a lot of innocent young TV watching souls were saved from the dark recesses of hell with that minor alteration...duh. cant remember the film though.

edit: I think the film might be Crocodile Dundee. not sure

[ghouck]

In Ferris Beuler's day off, they change "Piece of S*it" to "Piece of Tin" when Ferris is refering to Cameron's car. Also, in Cannonball Run, even in the original, where they are riding in the ambulance after the boat crash, the paramedic says "You can smoke through traffic like shot through a gun in one of these", refering to the ambulance. You can see that it is dubbed over, and it LOOKS like the paramedic says "s*it through a goose".

My alltime favorite is when they played Cheech and Chong's Next Movie, , but replaced the weed with diamonds, , , they obviously didn't think it through because the farther the movie went, the less it made sense.

[clockworkcanary]

Breakfast Club: "Flip you!"

[Pilgermann]

Hmm, in Thelma & Louise, a guy says "Suck my c*ck" before getting his brains blown out, but on TV it becomes "Clean my clock!"  HEHEHE

[AnubisVonMojo]

My all time favorite has to be the TV edit of The Crow. There's a scene where someone shouts "Bullsh!t! Bull f*cking sh!t!" in the regular cut, which is translated into "Bullspit! Bull flippin' spit!" in the TV version. Not nearly as bizarre or creative as some of the ones already listed (my favorites being the Melon Farmer and Eatin' pineapples ones, heh heh), but it always stuck with me for some reason.

[Susan]

The Breakfast club was chopped to bits by TBS. (or was it USA). Anyhow, what is so offensive about "eat my shorts" that they had to replace it with "SockS"?

what's worse is when the dubbed voice isn't even CLOSE to the actors

[Shadow]

I remember years back I caught Tremors on tv and every time someone exclaimed "Jesus Christ!" it was replaced with "Judas Priest!"

[MoronBoy]

"where'd ya get that scar? eatin pineapple?"

makes me laugh everytime

I have to ask were this one came from?

[AnubisVonMojo]

The Breakfast club was chopped to bits by TBS. (or was it USA). Anyhow, what is so offensive about "eat my shorts" that they had to replace it with "SockS"?

That reminds me of the Army of Darkness TV edit where they cut out the "Ash" part of "You're good Ash. I'm bad Ash" because the moron doing the editting thought he was saying "ass". That p**sed me off to no end.