Snapping Turtle Attacks Neighborhood!

[Andrew]

We had a fairly large snapping turtle that was under a neighbor's bush.  The one guy who lived next door, a fireman, was terrified of it.  I dragged the turtle out from under the bush, put it in a big red muck bucket, and we took it to the freshwater marsh nearby.

I didn't measure the turtle, but would guess the shell was about 12-13 inches long and it was pretty heavy.  15 - 18 lbs is my guess.  I have seen bigger, but not many.

[trekgeezer]

Looks about the size of the one I had trying to get in  my garage a few years ago.  I scooped up with a shovel and hauled back to the pond in wheel barrow.

[RCMerchant]

 We get some monsters here...and there good eatin'too!

[DodgingGrunge]

Andrew, you are such a genius for wearing gloves!  I too have a turtle story, but a much stinkier one.

I used to live in Chicago and work in the suburbs.  A backward commute.  I was driving home late one fall night when I noticed something in the road, probably just trash, right?  As I slowed, I noticed it was moving and despite common sense, I realized it was a turtle.  And not somebody's cute little pet turtle either.  It was comparable to the one you caught.  I looked to my left and my right and couldn't for the life of me figure out where this turtle was coming from, or where he was going.  There wasn't a source of water for at least a mile in any direction.  Let alone the fact that he was a reptile strutting about on a cool Chicago night.  I decided to intervene.  So, lover-of-animals and all-around-inventive person that I am, I looked in my trunk for something useful.  I instead pulled out the jacket to a lime-green leisure suit.  I sneaked up behind the turtle, picked him up, and was quite surprised to feel how heavy he was.  I was even more surprised when he started snapping and biting at me.  I figured he evidently didn't want my help so I put him down on the other side of the street and bid him farewell.

Oh, right, the stinky part!  At some point during our embrace, he thanked me with a big turtle turd, which under his weight and movement, smeared all over the jacket.  It smelled horrendous and I had to contend with it the entire drive home!  The only vicious stench I can think to compare it to are those dumpsters at large RV camp sites, the ones where raccoons seem to find a way in, but not out.

But I haven't thought about this in years!  Thanks, Andrew, for reminding me!

[akiratubo]

That thing isn't any bigger than the plain, old box turtles we have around here.

[Andrew]

I've eaten snapping turtles before.  My uncle caught  one on his land in PA that had been eating his ducklings many years ago.  It was so big that we ate some pieces like fried chicken and the rest went into the turtle soup.  Usually, the neck is about the only chunk of meat you have to cook like that.

The gloves were for personal protection.  Big snappers like that will dig their rear legs, with the claws, into your hands and wrists and can draw blood.  The other thing is that, though they are fairly slow, they can get a bite on you if you do not pay attention at all times.  A thick set of leather gloves is a lot better than your skin if they managed to get hold of your hand.

Those gloves saved my hands a few years back.  We were living in GA and had a small, old, but very mean dog wanding the neighborhood.  It was mangy and seemed nearly blind.  It was also (did I mention) mean as heck.  Too many kids in the neighborhood and animal control would take hours to respond, so I threw an old blanket over it and grabbed it.  Little bugger bit the heck out of my hand, but I had that same pair of work gloves on.  I then shoved the mean pooch into a cat carrier until animal control could come and get it.  I keep a few useful items in my truck, the leather work gloves and a wool blanket have always been two of them.

In any case, never had one really poop on me.  Depending on the turtle, I either grab the tail or the sides of the shell (grabbing the tail on a big one might injure the tail, but it was the only way I could get him out from under the bush).  Like that, anything coming out drops to the ground.  The jacket you used must have served as an unwitting turtle diaper.

That thing isn't any bigger than the plain, old box turtles we have around here.

Wow, that would be the largest box turtle I have ever seen.  The really big ones are about the size of a coconut or one of those small Nerf footballs, say six to eight inch shells (though not as flat as a snapping turtle).

[Mr. DS]

They get huge and they aren't a happy creature.  There is one down in my grandfather in laws irrigation pond and I swear the thing's head is the size of both of my fists put together.  The best thing is when your fishing down there and one of the blue gills go belly up you can hear them snapping it on the surface. 

[akiratubo]

Wow, that would be the largest box turtle I have ever seen.  The really big ones are about the size of a coconut or one of those small Nerf footballs, say six to eight inch shells (though not as flat as a snapping turtle).

They keep getting bigger.  No joke.  When I was little, the box turtles I saw were barely half the size of the ones I see nowadays.  I always help them out of the road and used to be able to pick them up, like a ball, with one hand.  Now I always have to use both hands on either side of their shells.

[Raffine]

They get huge and they aren't a happy creature. 

Amen to that. When we get lots of rain (not a problem lately as we're currently in the middle of a drought) there are a couple of really HUGE ones that abandon the creek and sit in the front yard to wait out the high water. They're the most prehistoric looking critters imaginable. The dogs actually have a special "HEY! THERE'S A HUGE SNAPPING TURTLE IN THE FRONT YARD!" bark. The turtles always bring out the ten-year-old in me so I have to get a stick and make 'em bite it.

We were always told as kids that when a snapping turtle bites you they won't let go until it thunders, even if you cut their head off. I always wondered where all the people were walking around with snapping turtles hanging from their hands waiting for a thunderstorm.

 

I'm Not He-Man

Lords of light! I recognize you, Thundarr.
"Ookla! Areil! Riiiiiiiide!"

[akiratubo]

Raffine, is your avatar Peter Lorre as the reincarnated killer from Mad Love?

[Trevor]

  I just love that expression on that turtle's face, as though he is saying:

"Mr Borntreger, let's discuss your recipe for turtle soup." 

[Andrew]

The largest snapper I have ever seen was an Alligator Snapping Turtle and it was a huge monster; it made the one I am holding look like a baby.  I didn't try to pick it up, because it was the size of a tire and had a head bigger than my fist.  No way was I going to mess with it.  And, funny enough, it was on a football/soccer field, right after a heavy rainstorm caused flooding and probably drove him out of his normal marshy creek.

The one I recently relocated was of a fairly pleasant disposition, as snapping turtles go.  All he wanted to do was go on his way.

[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8ap2T0SpdY

Found a YouTube clip for a short documentary about Alligator Snapping Turtles.  The one I saw was not quite the size of the big ones you see in the video, but larger than the medium one show in the preview image.

[Snivelly]

Alli snappers go upwards of 200 pounds, and are believed to live well over 100 years when left alone.  Last time I went to the Cincinnati Zoo they had one on display.

And here's a pic of one that will likely haunt your nightmares:



He might not be the biggest one out there, but that bite will make up for it.

[Raffine]

Raffine, is your avatar Peter Lorre as the reincarnated killer from Mad Love?

Yep!

"They cut off my head! But that Gogol, he put it back! Tee Heee Heee!"

[Mr. DS]

I'm Not He-Man

Lords of light! I recognize you, Thundarr.
"Ookla! Areil! Riiiiiiiide!"

LORDS OF LIGHT!  SOMEONE KNOWS ME!

As for Snappers, I recall fishing once in a local pond back home and I was trying to land a bullhead next to shore.  Out of nowhere this snapping turtle swam about two feet off shore and looked at my bait.  I don't think i could have pulled my line in quicker than I did.