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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  Spilling guts (no,not gore flicks) « previous next »
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Author Topic: Spilling guts (no,not gore flicks)  (Read 1904 times)
RCMerchant
Bela
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« on: June 16, 2007, 08:43:32 AM »

 My wifey(Tara Sue) , will occasisionally ask me what I'm typing...I'll tell her...she thinks I spill my guts too much ...that some stuff I should not tell other people ...like drug abuse...alchoholism... bad childhood...but I don't get it. Writing,drawing,music,is all a form of self expression to me. The stuff I'm obbsessive about-like movies, seems to me you HAVE to be vocal and honest about...Or whats the point? What do you guys think? Where do you draw the line...personally? ( Or is this too personal a question?) Question
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ulthar
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« Reply #1 on: June 16, 2007, 09:17:20 AM »

I don't like to post a lot of personal info on the Intarweb.  I don't mind posting about past stupid stuff I've done, but I try to avoid posting things like disagreements with my wife, too much detail in the child rearing area, etc - current stuff.  I will say that I admire the honesty with which you post about your past.  I don't think I'm going too far on a limb when I say you are one of the most respected people on this board.

I say post what YOU feel comfortable posting if it's about you.  Maybe you should not post personal stuff about your wife if she is against it (not that you do, just making a generalization).

The only BIG caution I would make is to remember, not-so-nice people scour the internet, including forums, for info that they can use to commit 'evil' deeds.  We have a rule in our house about posting pics of the children, for example.  Sure, I'd like to share some fo those cute little poses and smiles with my net-friends, but the chance of some screwball getting those pics, somehow finding my address, and, well, let your imagination go.

Me paranoid?  You bet.  Just because you are paranoid does NOT mean they are not out to get you.
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Snivelly
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« Reply #2 on: June 16, 2007, 11:51:51 AM »

I agree with Ulthar, you should post whatever you're comfortable sharing with people.  It helps to discuss the things you've been through, sometimes just to know that other people know where you're coming from because they've been there too.  As long as you aren't posting your address or directions to your home and your various account numbers, I see no harm in expressing what you need to.  It's good that you feel comfortable enough with the folks here to open up. 
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dean
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« Reply #3 on: June 18, 2007, 05:48:39 AM »


Well considering that real names are a rarity online, it's not too bad for forums.  I suppose it all boils down to what you're comfortable with.  I know a friend who got fired from his job because he was talking about it on his blog which someone tipped off the supervisors about.  The funny thing is he wasn't complaining as such, just talking about procedures, and every-day happenings that happened to him, and I suppose they didn't like that [he worked for a public transport company].

I myself don't mind giving away information about myself.  Info about others I'm a bit more hesitant about.  Small wonder I use my real name for my 'nickname' but that was more a lack of creative thought at the time, than anything else.  Besides most people here are pretty friendly and I do consider 'the gang' to be pretty awesome, so I don't think it's too much of a worry in this case.

Funnily enough, I have a blog which I used to use as a bit of 'personal therapy' to help me nut out and gush about things that were getting to me etc [plus posting stupid youtube videos and whatnot].  Liberating in a way to have yourself so exposed like that, but I figured it was a better option than offloading on friends when they were unprepared.

But that being said, I also used to keep it low key for the reason that I wasn't that comfortable with giving away too much to too many people, but I've slowly got over that mindset. 

It does feel good to unload on occasion and it's a good way to have a bit of cost-effective therapy at the same time.  Your mind will thank you in the long run, I'm sure.

As such I'm a big fan of the 'share if you want to' mindset, but posting all your details from address, tax details and pin numbers is probably crossing the line.

That itch you got from 'a friend' on a recent trip to Vietnam might also be too much information, but would probably be an interesting story all the same, so go nuts.

 BounceGiggle

And yes, like Ulthar said, your honesty is refreshing since most people aren't so forward about those kind of topics, and as such I very much respect that.
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ulthar
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« Reply #4 on: June 18, 2007, 07:57:46 AM »


Well considering that real names are a rarity online, it's not too bad for forums.


The problem is that many of us, even if we use nicks, DO post our real names somewhere.  We have several threads on here somewhere about where our nicks came from, and there, many posted real names.  Also, we've got Frappr that gives locations.  Many link to MySpace or other sites that use either a real name or at least a DIFFERENT nick.  Ever tell what high school you went to or what town you grew up in?  Your birthday?  A job you had as a teenager, or since?  A LOT can be done with those starting points.

Can someone find enough about me to cause trouble JUST from my postings as "ulthar" on badmovies.org?  Perhaps, but probably not.  But, the problem is "datamining."  View the postings on a large set of forums as a dataset; this dataset can be analyzed for correlations between the data.  Once a high correlation point is found, all of a sudden, the computer "knows" everything about me from what I post on a NUMBER of forums.  And all of this can be automated.  (Think about what all those zombie nets formed from spam propagation are doing).

I know that what I post is compartmentalized.  But if someone DID manage to piece together the different threads of my personal info from ALL the forums I post on, they'd have quite a picture.  I personally try to minimize the exposure also by limiting the number of forums I use, so the odds that of all the forums out there that my 2 or 3 is mined is small.

My other saving grace is that if someone DID attempt to steal my identity, they'd be sorely disappointed.
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Professor Hathaway:  I noticed you stopped stuttering.
Bodie:      I've been giving myself shock treatments.
Professor Hathaway: Up the voltage.

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Yaddo 42
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Where's that brick.......


« Reply #5 on: June 20, 2007, 10:08:18 PM »

I too have always admired your honesty about the problems you have dealt with in you life. I know for me it helps drive home that we are "real" people interacting with each other, not just funny names and clever comments. It reminds me that other people are struggling with bigger issues than I have and if they can make progress with their problems, I can too.

I'd say post what you are comfortable with, but be aware that telling too much can have consequences for you and your family as others have mentioned. If you don't trust your own judgement, go with your wife's, from your posts she seems to have a good head on her shoulders.

I know I tell more about myself than I used to, but I've tended to pull back from telling more about other people in my life since they don't really have the option of opting out of what could happen to them depending on what I tell. I have mentioned the girl I've called the "not girlfriend" less on here as of late because I know someone she cared about in the past used a blog to spread lies about her after the relationship ended. Even though she and I are just good friends, I care enough about her to not want to damage or misuse her trust by posting something that could be taken the wrong way or be used to harm her.
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RCMerchant
Bela
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« Reply #6 on: June 21, 2007, 06:09:31 AM »

 Thank you all! This board is the only one I would feel comfertable posting on about certain issues...which says alot about the people on it. I feel very at home here...It's odd...the BEST people on the net...watch the Worst movies ever!  Cheers
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Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?"
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."





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Ash
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« Reply #7 on: June 22, 2007, 07:10:27 AM »

This board is the only one I would feel comfertable posting on about certain issues...which says alot about the people on it.


That's the number one reason I've posted here for so long.
I can write things here that would be ridiculed and ripped to shreds on other forums. 
There is a level of maturity here that I have not found on any other forum.
I know that when I write about something personal on this board, most of the people here will understand and offer good input.

Over the years, I have written a number of threads here about personal issues I've had.
Like my affinity for drinking one too many beers, to the death of my younger brother in 2003 and the depression I spiralled into after it happened.
Heck, I've even asked people here if they eat the gristle on their steak!
I like to write about life's little nuances and idiosyncrasies.  Those little personal things that make us different yet connected because we've all done or thought about them at one time or another.

And I love to talk about movies which is the tie that binds us all here.

------------------------------------------------------

And RC, I'll give you credit for posting some of the sordid details of your past.
There are things you've admitted here that I don't think I could ever have admitted to had I done them.
I've talked to you on the phone twice now and you seem like an up front, honest and hard working guy with an excellent knowledge of horrible cinema.    Thumbup


« Last Edit: June 27, 2007, 10:42:06 AM by Ash » Logged
Poogie
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« Reply #8 on: June 22, 2007, 10:07:28 AM »

Long time for me to be here again, but I read this post and just had to say something.  Smile
For me as long as you don't harm someone with your personal feelings about something it's okay and, you haven't in my book. It's showing the healing process taking place, to be able to vent is the best medicine. You sound proud of yourself and you should be, you have accomplished much. You're a fine person to know and don't you forget it....you're doing just fine...keep it up.  Smile
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trekgeezer
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« Reply #9 on: June 22, 2007, 12:22:00 PM »

I for one applaud you RC. I have a brother in the ground from cirrhosis after a couple of decades of alcoholism. I know that the only person who can save themselves for this fate is  the addicted person.  That doesn't keep my siblings and I from wondering if we could've somehow helped him.

I often wish I could dig him up and kick his ass for not having the gumption to stand up to his addiction like you and others have.  He taught me to fish, hunt, drive a car, and be a man so it was terribly hard to see him taken that way.

So you stand right up and spill your guts brother, because you don't know who might take heart and follow your lead and help themselves. 
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RCMerchant
Bela
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« Reply #10 on: June 22, 2007, 07:12:33 PM »

Chheez...I really am at a loss for words.... ( for once!)....thank you all! Wink
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\"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!\" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)


Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?"
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."





http://www.tumblr.com/dashboard
http://www.tumblr.com/dashboard
http://rcmerchant.tumblr.com/
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