I got a film festival coming up...................

[Trevor]

 ......so will be leaving you good peoples for a while. But the crazy South African will be back on the 18th July, patched undies and all. 

We are screening some South African films in the giant metropolis of Bloemfontein, which you can see at www.bloemfontein.co.za and this is a follow-up to the honouring of SA film pioneers that we did last month, from which my new avatar resulted. 

The films we're screening are not really all that well known overseas, but they are:

Die Kandidaat [The Candidate, 1968]: This was South Africa's first political thriller and a very controversial one at that: it was nearly banned as it questioned the Afrikaner and not only his/her role in society but also who has a right to be called one.

Die Winter Van 14 Julie [The Winter of 14th July, 1977]: Why are we screening this film on the 13th of July, instead of on the 14th? This is one of those truly terrible films, so bad in fact that the projector will scream if you run this film through it and so filled with sugar that your teeth rot just watching it. Aieeeeeeeeeeee! :buggedout:

Beautiful People [1974]: This is the famous film where the animals are the actors and it features many funny and also sometimes very sad scenes, kind of a SA "The Living Desert" as made by the chap who made The Gods Must Be Crazy, Jamie Uys.

Karate Olympia [1976]: a.k.a. Kill Or Be Killed, this was the first martial arts film made in Africa, but we will be screening the Afrikaans version, which will only add to the fun.

Die Geheim Van Nantes [The Nantes Secret, 1969]: a great SA film about the ins and outs and backstabbings that go on in a Cape Province wine farm.

Hoor My Lied / Hear My Song [1968] More sugar for you, sir? A doctor discovers that he is going blind in this remake of Liberace's Sincerely Yours. The biggest SA box-office hit of its' day. 

The Winners [1972]: In my humble opinion, the finest sporting film ever made, truly a battering ram of emotion.

That's it, good people: I have to drive 300 miles on Saturday with 48 reels of film, so I hope all will go well and I shall see you all soon. 

[RCMerchant]

 Wow. How come I can't get a cool job,like screening film fests? Why must I be condemed to factory work and peddling goofy cartoons for chump change? 

Seriously,sounds like fun! Have a good time,and see you back in the funny papers!    (What does that mean,anyway? )

[Andrew]

Safe passage and Godspeed, Trevor Moses.

Make sure you secure all those reels of film.  Wouldn't want to get in an accident and have 48 heavy film reels strike you in the back of the head and neck.

[Trevor]

  Thanks RC and Andrew!  

My bosses actually wanted me to fly down to Bloemfontein, so I asked them where on earth was I supposed to put those reels of film? In my hand luggage?  Once they saw how many cans there were, they said, OK, drive down, we'll lend you a horse and driver.  Now I have to feed and shoe the horse too! 

Seriously, they have got me some sort of a courier van, so that will mean I can strap the cans in. It wouldn't do (a) for those things to ding me in the back of the head as I will probably end up like Benicio del Toro in Sin City or (b) for the films to go hurtling out of the van like Bruce Willis on the stretcher in Hudson Hawk. Yikes.

Thanks for the good wishes, good people!! 

[CheezeFlixz]

OK let me totally politically incorrect ... not that, that's new or anything.

You're in Africa, can't you hire natives to carry your film reels on their head through the untamed jungles, dodge perils and wild animals along the way, wouldn't that be more cost effective than driving? It does conjure up quite the image, doesn't it?

Trevor: LOOK, Mbawa!!! Off in the distant's, just beyond the crocodile infested river ... a cinema!
Mbawa: (Assorted clicks and whooping sounds)
The natives cheer ...
Trevor: Come lads, we must go with haste the "Die Kandidaat" showing starts in 15 minutes.
Mbawa: (Assorted clicks and whooping sounds)
The natives cheer ...

[Trevor]

 

That was a good one, Cheeze: karma for you. 

The idea of my "native bearers" carrying films on their heads is a good one, but not so if they have to carry Die Kandidaat because that film runs for almost twenty reels.  The poor buggers will be lucky to have necks after lugging around all of those reels. 

I actually do have to cross a crocodile infested river which forms the border between Gauteng Province and the Free State: it is called the Vaal River and supplies most of Gauteng with its' water.