Recent viewings

[Jack]

LOL, you got me there RC, I'll go with sea monkeys   

Dark Mirror (2007) - A married couple and their son move into a pretty little house, only to discover that really strange things happen there. The wife is a photographer, and after taking a picture of a mirror in the house, the photograph she gets is of another room, as viewed from the mirror in that room. She also notices that if you look in the bathroom mirror, holding your head way off to the side so that you can see down the hallway, there's a door out there. A door which doesn't actually exist. Later on anyone she photographs seems to turn up missing. It's quite suspenseful and atmospheric. The lead actress, Lisa Vidal, does a fantastic job of creating a likable, sympathetic character that I could really relate too. The climax even had a shocking revelation that I didn't see coming at all (Well, it was a total surprise the first time I watched this anyway.) I gave it a 4/5 last time I watched it, but I think I'll promote it to a 4.5/5 this time.

[FatFreddysCat]

"Twilight: Breaking Dawn, Part I" (2011)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BeCI-ep7l-Q&feature=player_embedded
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...yeah, I took one for the team last night, fellas. The wife wanted to see this one and I had a free rental coming to me from RedBox, so I figured at least watching this wouldn't cost me anything but time.

In case you care, this is the latest "Twilight" installment, in which the annoying, terminally depressed human Bella and the sparkly vampire Edward have a fairy tale wedding, consummate their marriage on their honeymoon, and Bella gets pregnant with some kind of never-before-seen half-vampire, half-human mutant which has the potential to threaten the entire world. Or something like that. After a while I stopped paying attention and was simply hoping that the werewolves would just bust in and kill everybody, but no such luck.

This was an EXTREMELY slow moving film (I swear, nothing happens till the last half hour) and the hipster indie rock (lots of plaintive piano ballads) that provides the soundtrack for nearly every scene was pure torture.

Don't make the same mistake I did. If you have a penis, avoid this film.

[FatFreddysCat]

"Jurassic Park III" (2001)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_jhAR3ysvg&feature=player_embedded
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After sitting out the 2nd film in the "JP" series, Sam Neill returns as Dr. Alan Grant, who gets shanghaiied into returning to the dinosaur-infested Costa Rican island by a couple searching for their missing child. As usual, hordes of Raptors, T-Rexes, and Spinosauruses do their best to turn the humans into Dino-Chow.

...a totally unnecessary, but still fun and action packed, sequel. I like this one better than the 2nd film due to the complete and total lack of Jeff Goldblum (who irritates me).

[Jack]

^ Téa Leoni was by far my favorite part of Jurassic Park 3     It was a fun movie overall.  Had kind of cool atmosphere on that island when they found those Pterodactyls. 

[FatFreddysCat]

^ Téa Leoni was by far my favorite part of Jurassic Park 3     It was a fun movie overall.  Had kind of cool atmosphere on that island when they found those Pterodactyls. 

Yeah, Tea Leoni was a major selling point. 

JPIII seems to get a lot of hate but I think it's a fun flick.

[FatFreddysCat]

"WitchSlayer Gretl"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyPc_2dH0eo
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Silly SyFy Channel crap that feels like some 14 year old girl's fairy tale fan-fiction gone horribly wrong. "Hansel and Gretl" are now all grown up. Problem is, Gretl's body has been taken over by a witch, and Hansel, who's now a Witch Slayer, has to either save or destroy her. So yeah, the title doesn't make any sense (Hansel is the Witch Slayer, not Gretl!) but that's the least of this flick's problems. The dialogue is pure Medieval Times nonsense, the special effects are hilariously cheap, and the male lead looks like a slightly less portly Kevin Smith. Worst of all, the main reason I tuned into this piece of crap was to see Shannen Doherty as the evil witch queen cuz I've had a crush on her since I was 14....aaaaand let's just say time is finally catching up to the poor girl. Sigh. This was bad, and not even the usual SyFy Channel "good" kind of "bad."

"Ghost Rider" (2007)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1hZNHPVVAQ
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Nicolas Cage stars as Marvel Comics' demonic biker Johnny Blaze, who makes a deal with the devil and ends up working as Satan's flame-headed errand boy. When the Devil's wayward son Blackheart decides it's his turn to take over the world,, G.R. has to show him who's the boss.. Total b-movie cheez but still lotsa good goofy fun!!!

[Rev. Powell]

SCHIZOPOLIS (1996): Basically a series of absurd sketches, like a feature film made by a TV comedy troupe, but the thin organizing plot thread involves a man straining to write a big speech for a cultlike figure modeled on L. Ron Hubbard. Full of ideas that are usually more clever than funny---e.g., the running joke satirizing lack of communication between men and women by having the characters speak jibberish, generic phrases, or different languages---but it should prove interesting and inventive enough to keep smart people watching to the end. Director Steven Soderbergh comes onscreen before the story starts and tells us, "In the event that you find certain sequences or ideas confusing, please bear in mind that this is your fault, not ours. You will need to see the picture again and again until you understand everything." So, you've been warned.  3/5.

[JaseSF]

Steelyard Blues (1973): A recently released criminal named Valdini (Donald Sutherland), with a love for demolition derbies, tries to go straight but finds his passion for going against what society accepts, and his desire to finally smash up a 50s Studebaker, gets in the way. Sure enough, before long Valdini's back to his outlaw ways much to the dismay of his poltically motivated brother Frank (Howard Hesseman) who wants to become attorney general. Valdini plots to fix up an old plane and with a group of his misfit friends (including his prostitute girlfriend Iris [Jane Fonda], best friends Eagle [Peter Boyle], Duval (Garry Goodrow) and kid brother [John Savage]) fly away somewhere were they can all be free to finally do as they like.

Honestly I wanted to like this movie given its anti-authority, anti-establishment message, but it just doesn't change the fact I found this one hard slugging to get through. Despite the terrific cast, honestly I found this surprisingly dull for most of its running time. The most entertaining moments here come from Boyle and his impersonations/spoofing of other films especially The Wild One. Sutherland and Hesseman give capable performances but Fonda just isn't very good here for the most part and is never believable in her role. With this film, it's like I kept waiting and waiting for something to happen but aside from a few thrills towards the end, it just doesn't deliver in the fashion I was hoping it would. ** out of ***** stars.

Father of the Bride (1950): Spencer Tracy stars as Stanley T. Banks, a man who finds his usual well-ordered world turned upside down and driven into chaos, once he learns his daughter Kay (Elizabeth Taylor) is about to get married to boyfriend Buckley Dunstan (Don Taylor).

This was delightfully funny and/or consistently amusing from beginning to end. Also it all seems very believable and true to life. The nightmare sequence Tracy's character has is quite memorable too. The only flaw is it is a bit dated in some ways especially with regards to some of the social attitudes towards the places of man and woman in the traditional family setting. The acting is terrific with Tracy especially being terrific but also receiving good support from Joan Bennett who plays Stanley's wife and Kay's mother Ellie. Taylor too is quite good here and looks stunning as the bride to be in this one. **** out of ***** stars.

[lester1/2jr]

saw some stuff while cruising:

quintet (1979)- holy crap is this a bad movie. Paul Newman wanders back and forth across this weird encampment in a snowy dystopia while everyone talks about some game called Quintet. I actually kind of liked the weird vibe but the movei itself is terriblly dull. Newman talks to a bunch of heavily bundled women and guys about I dont know what, mostly this game they play. this movie just shouldn't have been made. Various people get stabbed over the course of 2 hours. 1.5/5

White rainbow (2005)- preachy depression non musical Indian movie abuot a twon where widows go to live and how thry are mistreated. The lead actress is very pretty and it's good that someone cares about the plight of these women in a society that alternatly abuses them and sweeps them under the rug but it's like a dramatization of dramatization of an intersting documentary someone else made. I liked it but it tells rather than shows. 3/5

more later

[Jack]

Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe (1990) - some evil guy comes to earth and gets a woman pregnant by holding his hand over her stomach.  A couple minutes later she gives birth to a kid who's supposed to have the power to destroy planets.  Or something.  I really have no idea, nor do I have any idea what the evil dude wants to do with him.  But anyhow, Jesse Ventura shows up as an intergalactic cop (who's 10,000 years old but doesn't look a day over 60), and captures the bad guy.  He's put in intergalactic prison but then escapes five years later, comes back to earth and tries to nab the kid.  Not to fear, Ventura is on the case and tries to protect the kid and his mother (who's quite hot I must say).  Sort of a low budget Terminator 2 type scenario.  Unfortunately Ventura's character is practically a pacifist and, well, what the heck is the point in getting Jesse Ventura to play a part like that?  Oh well, it turns into Firestarter at the end with the five year old causing one pyrotechnics charge after another to ignite, using the power of his mind.  Yeah, exciting stuff (stifles yawn).  Very mediocre in every way, and by mediocre I mean what 98% of the viewing public would call terrible.  2.5/5.

[FatFreddysCat]

"The Legend of Sorrow Creek" (2006)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsqV7ClM9FA
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Irritating "Blair Witch" wanna-be in which a quartet of twenty-somethings staying at a secluded cabin in the woods are menaced by mysterious, mostly-unseen spooks. Cheap shot on video crap starring a cast of untalented nobodies. Fortunately the run time was short (a mere 74 minutes) so my suffering was minimal.

[lester1/2jr]

Pirahna (1980)- this had more comic relief than I remember but I still liked it. I used to watch all the different animal horror movies on late night tv as a kid and this was kind of the main one in my mind. Belinda belaski is charming and the other guy plays the strong silent type part well. Definitely lighter than I remember but still entertaining is the bottom line here folks 4/5

Secret Service of the Imperial Court (1984) - This is by the guy who did Bastard Swordsman and Holy Flame of the martial World, in other words a totall baddass new wave genius (lu chin ku). this is much more straightforward than those but still very compelling. Not alot of flying around or insane lasers and stuff, mostly swordfights and palace intrique. A weird eunuch has gained the emporers trust and basically taken over operations. The only thing to potentially keep him in check is the palace guards who are extremely disciplined and loyal. So the hero guard guy gets into it with the eunech guy.  tons and tons of people are sworded to death.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5EF0AV1EkRQ&feature=related
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This guy is a really good director. People shuld see this even if it's not as new wavey as his other films. 4.5/5

[Vik]

Vampire Hunter D
It wasn't without clichés, but really cool anime movie 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XirFUvnoiJU
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[alandhopewell]

     I just bought the CULT TERROR CINEMA compilation, and this was in it....



     Yes, it's our old friend, THE CREEPING TERROR; I watched this last Saturday morning, instead of DRAGONBALL Z KAI. It had been thirty-some years since I'd last seen this, and I'd actually forgotten how BAD it was....

     There's actually a scene in this flick where one of the characters gets shot, and you KNOW who shot him, but the person in question has no gun!

     If you've never seen this, seek it out; this is the dictionary definition of bad movies.

[JayJayM12]

21 Jump Street (2012) - saw this one at a screening last night.  It was a pretty funny flick - more in line with Pineapple Express or Superbad than the original tv series although (MINOR SPOILER ALERT), it did have some pretty funny cameos from some original cast members (END MINOR SPOILER). 

Ice Cube nearly stole the whole movie as the captain (I'm not normally a big fan of the Cube, but he was hilarious in this).  It also had a pretty clever twist on high school popularity now versus a few years ago.  Overall, it was high on laughs, low on plot, but pretty entertaining throughout.  If you're expecting to see a movie version of the original series, though, you're gonna leave disappointed...