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ChaosTheory
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« Reply #6300 on: May 13, 2013, 11:21:44 AM »

"John Dies at the End" (2012)
http://www.youtube.com/v/Vy83MPk7Wpg

In Don "Phantasm" Coscarelli's quirky-on-purpose horror comedy, a paranormal investigator inadvertently finds himself caught in the middle of a plot involving monsters from another dimension ... thanks to an accidental dose of a drug called "Soy Sauce." There's a lot more going on than just that, but that's really about all the description I can give you without ruining it. Let's just say that this movie was WEIRD as HELL. Fortunately it was also funny as hell. I'm not sure I fully "got" it, but I got a kick out of it anyway.



I just watched this last night.  Kind of derails in the third act, but it's imaginative and has a great cast.  The movie's probably pretty hard to get into if you haven't read the book (which if you haven't, I definitely recommend it).
6.5/10
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FatFreddysCat
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« Reply #6301 on: May 13, 2013, 12:56:26 PM »

Quote
The movie's probably pretty hard to get into if you haven't read the book (which if you haven't, I definitely recommend it).

Yeah, several people have already told me I should've read the book first. Oh well.  TeddyR

I did enjoy the movie for the most part, even if I felt like I was watching an elaborate "inside joke" that I didn't quite "get" from time to time.
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« Reply #6302 on: May 13, 2013, 02:03:46 PM »

Watched The Children (1980) and The Town (2010)

The Children-Found this one on Troma's youtube channel and thought free seemed like an acceptable price for such a movie. After a schoolbus passes through a cloud of smoke all the children within are transformed into murderous atomic zombies. Their method of killing? Hugs! Yes don't hug these kids or you're face will melt off! Thankfully one police officer discovers that while shooting them does nothing, cutting off the children's hands stops them. Would make a good/horrible double bill with another troma distributed title "Beware Children at Play", which also features evil kids being murdered.
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The Town-I really enjoyed Ben Affleck's other directed films "Argo" and "Gone Baby Gone" so I decided to give this one a go. On one hand there's nothing here we haven't seen before (bank robberies, criminal wanting to change his ways, etc...) but it's all done so well that it all feels new. I watched the extended cut which is over two and a half hours and thought for such a long film that the pacing was great. With the quality of his first three films being so high I greatly anticipate his upcoming movie "Live By Night" a prohibition era crime saga that is in pre production.
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« Reply #6303 on: May 13, 2013, 05:22:23 PM »



It! The Terror from Beyond Space (1958) - some folks go to Mars and on the return trip find that a scary guy in a rubber suit has stowed away. Bad news for our intrepid space explorers. Luckily they've got a good supply of grenades and even a bazooka on the ship. They really built those spaceships out of some sturdy stuff back in the '50s. Characters were okay, partially developed but mostly just served as monster chow. Plot was cheesy but overall it created at least a modicum of suspense. 3/5.

This movie was the inspiration for Alien. Not sure if Ridley Scott ever admit it though.
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Rev. Powell
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« Reply #6304 on: May 14, 2013, 12:51:42 PM »

Since everyone else is doing it I thought I'd watch

JOHN DIES AT THE END (2012): Two slackers try a new drug at a rave that gives them psychic powers and the ability to combat an extra-dimensional invasion by body-snatching worms. This hallucinatory sci-fi adventure has penile doorknobs, Theseus' paradox, a monster assembled from sausages, and flying mustaches: what's not to love? 4.5/5.

Personally I don't want to read the book now, I'm afraid it would overexplain things and ruin the magic.
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alandhopewell
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« Reply #6305 on: May 14, 2013, 02:08:07 PM »

Alien Hunter (2003) - an alien artifact is found at the South Pole, and a group of researchers dig it up and thaw it out - yeah that's a good idea. This was okay, nothing more. Characters weren't really likable or sympathetic, they were just there. One guy who disagrees vehemently with whatever everybody else says pretty much yells over every scene. The plot never managed to generate any suspense and the ending was nothing but a cheesy CGI show. 3/5.

It! The Terror from Beyond Space (1958) - some folks go to Mars and on the return trip find that a scary guy in a rubber suit has stowed away. Bad news for our intrepid space explorers. Luckily they've got a good supply of grenades and even a bazooka on the ship. They really built those spaceships out of some sturdy stuff back in the '50s. Characters were okay, partially developed but mostly just served as monster chow. Plot was cheesy but overall it created at least a modicum of suspense. 3/5.

     IT may have been the basis for ALIEN.
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« Reply #6306 on: May 14, 2013, 07:50:51 PM »

Quote
penile doorknobs

That was the biggest laugh in the whole movie for me. "This door can NOT be opened!"  BounceGiggle

... and by the way, "Penile Doorknobs" would be a great name for a band.
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FatFreddysCat
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« Reply #6307 on: May 15, 2013, 07:58:48 AM »

"Jason X" (2002)

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How do you continue a slasher movie series when your formula has been run completely into the ground by an endless parade of sequels?

A. Make yet another film that's exactly like all of the preceding ones

or

B. Go absolutely f*ckin' nuts.

Obviously the makers of "Jason X" chose option "B." That's the only possible explanation for this tenth installment in the "Friday the 13th" series which puts the slasher and sci-fi genres in a blender and hits "puree."  Serial killer Jason Voorhees is cryogenically frozen in the 21st century and then thawed out four centuries later aboard a space research shuttle. Fortunately, teenagers of the future are just as stupid and horny as the ones back in the day so Jason gets back to his old business quickly. The usual slashing, mutilating, shooting, and explosions ensue accompanied by lotsa cheap special FX.

Fans of the "F13" series either love or hate this movie. You can put me in the "love" category, mostly because it's so hilariously bizarre (the movie works best if you look at it as a parody of the "Friday" movies rather than another legitimate entry in the series). It's action packed, gory, violent, stupid, and totally over the top, but you can't deny that it's entertaining as hell.
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« Reply #6308 on: May 15, 2013, 08:43:05 AM »

The House on Sorority Row (1983) -  

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Cheers awesome misfire of a horror movie with an attractive cast and some nifty surprises. A preposterous prank that would have been a felony if it had worked goes wrong. Instead of reporting it to the police, the girls, who are various levels of good looking but who I would mostly all bang, go on with their planned party and just endure the guilt Raisin in the Sun style. Sorry if that's a little spoiler but it happens right away.

The director, whoever it is, is out of their element but seems like they are probably a pretty good director of dramas or tv or something. The one girl is freaking out the whole time but her date is like "I'm having a good time" and is all understandable when he should be like uh I'm getting the hell out of here. You know those things at the very end of MST3k episodes where there is a particularly ridiculous thing after the credits? There are a lot of things like that. Not a lot of nudity but the girls are workin it and workin it out.

On it's merits I'd give it a 2.5 or maybe 3 /5 but I up it to 5/5 for it's classic classicness.
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« Reply #6309 on: May 15, 2013, 11:17:49 AM »

BLUEBEARD (1944): A painter/puppeteer kills his models in 19th century Paris. A dusty and lifeless serial killer relic; when John Carradine is acting (rather than over-acting) he's actually a pretty dull fellow. Hard to believe this was made by the same director who made the B-masterpieces THE BLACK CAT and DETOUR; even harder to believe that it has a 100% positive Rotten Tomatoes rating. 1/5.
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« Reply #6310 on: May 15, 2013, 04:21:31 PM »

Devil's Possessed (1974) - one of those Paul Naschy things. This time Paul plays the bad guy;  the ruler of a small kingdom who hires an alchemist to make him some elixir of immortality. I guess. Of course this requires some exotic ingredients like the blood of maidens. Well the villagers don't take too kindly to that and soon they're revolting. I didn't care for this too much. No atmosphere, dull characters, plot was infinitely predictable. High point was Naschy's girlfriend who had a fondness for skintight tops. 2.5/5.

Green Eyes (1934) - some ornery old fart gets murdered at his mansion, and everyone who was at the party that night becomes a suspect. The police detective investigates, aided by a writer who specializes in crime novels. I dunno, it's got a really complex plot with dozens of clues and my falling asleep several times made it rather hard to keep track of. Characters were decent I suppose. I'm not saying that it was the movie that put me to sleep...but I'm not saying it wasn't either. 2.5/5
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alandhopewell
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« Reply #6311 on: May 16, 2013, 02:03:03 PM »

     NIGHT CLUB (1989)

     You know those late 80's / early 90's films where the guy is a whining putz, the sorta movie that kept Peter Coyote in Ritz crackers?

     This is one of those. The guy , who's been a loser since he was (nearly) potty-trained, borrows a quarter-mil from a leg-breaker buddy to open a night club in a warehouse-original idea, that- and make a bundle. Somehow, he's aquired a smokin' hot girlfriend who tolerates his whining, tantrums, and general ineptitude through the entire movie. The same actress plays his attorney, and the two of them pop in and out like ghosts near the end.

     Turns out there's toxic storage cannisters next door to the warehouse....no, nobody turns into a zombie, although that might've helped, which means he loses the money, can't get investors, and whines like a little girl most of the time.

     If you can, avoid this set....




I've seen half the films already, and they all blow chunks.
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If it's true what they say, that GOD created us in His image, then why should we not love creating, and why should we not continue to do so, as carefully and ethically as we can, on whatever scale we're capable of?

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« Reply #6312 on: May 16, 2013, 02:28:37 PM »

Proteus (1995) - a group of drug smugglers get shipwrecked and end up on an offshore oil rig. It seems to be abandoned, and it's not long before they find a genetic engineering lab. Oh yeah, this is gonna end well. I've watched this a few times now, it's nothing special but if you like "people trapped in confined environment with a monster after them" type thing it's not bad. Characters are kind of entertaining and the action isn't altogether slow. 4/5.

The Undertaker and His Pals (1966) - an undertaker and his two pals (who own a restaurant) are killing women. One guess what they do with them Smile This was sort of a comedy. It made me almost snicker once. Pretty lame humor and the plot was just stupid. You know how your eyes glaze over when you spend a long time looking at something that bores you?  Yeah that's this. 2/5.
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« Reply #6313 on: May 16, 2013, 10:25:40 PM »

"The Gate" (1987)

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Semi-classic '80s B-Movie in which a portal to the Underworld is accidentally opened in a suburban back yard, unleashing a horde of tiny demon creatures and other spooky stuff. A trio of kids battle back against the evil with model rockets and by playing a heavy metal record backwards. Yup, seriously.

The movie's pretty much poo, but it features a young Stephen Dorff, a kid with a Killer Dwarfs patch on his jacket and some surprisingly decent old-school stop motion creature effects. Cheesy retro fun!
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« Reply #6314 on: May 17, 2013, 04:32:45 AM »

The Boy Who Cried Werewolf (1973)

Since the parents are divorced little Richie spends quality time with his father at an mountain cabin. On their way to town for dinner both are attacked by a man. The attacker dies but the father is left injured. For some reason Richie thinks they were attacked by an werewolf, and when his father starts showing signs of odd behavior Richie thinks that he will change into a hairy beast as well. But nobody believes little Richie.

Charming old school werewolf flick that could have been awesome if they had done it as a psychological horror film. The movie still works as it is, though chills and gore are minor but it's atmospheric enough, and for mild comic relief there's a Jesus-freaks hippie community to boot. Acting is decent, but Richie (the perky "oh gee!" kind) can be annoying at times. 4/5

The Demon Murder Case (1983)

Forced to move temporarily into the house of his fiances parents because of strange paranormal activity in their own, Kenny (Kevin Bacon) tries to make the best of it. His fiances little brother Brian meanwhile claims to be followed by the devil. Soon enough the kid is possessed so the family tries to exorcise spirits on their own but to no avail. A pair of demonologists are brought in and together they perform yet another exorcism, this time inside a local church. The outcome isn't satisfying enough so Kenny challenges the demons inside Brian. Now Kenny appears to be possessed, and during a pizza dinner with the family things turn from bad to deadly ...

Mild cursing, levitating bodies and supernatural windstorms: made for TV horror based on actual events. The movie sticks mostly to the "facts" but it's exactly done like The Exorcist - we've been there and done that a million times. Still, it's solid for what it is and there's even a little unintentional humor to keep things entertaining. 3.5/5
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