Recent viewings

[claws]

Forrest Gump (1994)

A modern classic always fun to watch. Some thoughts: for some reason this movie has an incredibly high body count, with the focus on U.S. Presidents shot. Not sure what the "dead presidents" have to do with Gump. Were the filmmakers trying to say that whoever met Gump was bound to die? It's an odd plot line for sure 5/5

[JaseSF]

The Astral Factor (1978): A psychopath named Roger Sands (Frank Ashmore) uses his mastery of astral projection [which somehow helps him turn invisible] and telekinesis to carry out the strangling murders of those women who testified in court against him. Lt. Charles "Chuck" Barrett (Robert Foxworth) tries to stop him but how do you stop a killer you can't even see coming?

This film, also known as The Invisible Strangler is pretty tough slugging. While I actually liked some of the 70s borderline sleazy atmosphere of this one, it never quite measures up perhaps because the premise of it is so out there. Astral projection, sixth sense, and telekinesis all seemed to grow in popularity during the 70s but the way these things are presented here often seems truly far fetched although it definitely gives the psychotic lead villain a great edge over those cops looking to bring him down. And this does pick some of the great beauties of the 60s as potential victims including Sue Lyon, Leslie Parrish, Marianna Hill, and best of all Elke Sommer who gives the best and most memorable performance as lonely trophy wife Chris Hartman. Still, most of these talented ladies are only here for eye candy before they potentially get strangled by our invisible menace. Most of said strangling also seems somewhat perverse and goes on arguably much too long. Foxworth's brainless girlfriend Candy, played by the talented Stefanie Powers, also seems to have been just cast as eye candy in this one. Definitely a bit of a waste of talent and there's a certain unsettling misogynistic undertone to this one. Still, it's surprisingly suspenseful and entertaining at times. *** out of ***** stars.

The Galaxy Invader (1985): A green colored alien (Glenn Barnes) is hunted by drunken rednecks hoping to cash in by capturing him or his technology.

This direct to video cheaply made low budget monster movie from director Don Dohler has its entertaining moments if you enjoy really trashy, grade-z films in which the director/writer casts his own family members. This basically stars Richard Ruxton as a stereotypical violent drunken redneck named Joe Montague, known as one of the local useless town drunks, better known as "Paw" to his poor family whom he domineers over. Old Joe's been known to chase after his daughter Carol (Faye Tilles) with a gun when she gives him lip. During one such chase, he stumbles across an alien in a green rubber reptile suit and soon plots along with fellow drunken mastermind Frank Custor (Don Leifert) to capture said alien and his technology (a laser gun) to sell to the highest bidder hoping to make big bucks. (Basically a get rich quick hillbilly scheme). They trick some locals into joining their hunt. When others learn their scheme, they try and stop them and help the alien fearing the consequences of a laser gun falling into Paw's hands. This is one of those films that has been seen to be believed, especially the laughable conclusion (with the body flying over the cliff). It's almost so bad it's good except it relies so heavily on stereotypes, comes across a bit too trashy, and is dull in between its moments of action. Many of the women cast here are somewhat attractive in a sleazy, white trash kind of way. *** out of ***** stars.

[FatFreddysCat]

"Vamp" (1986) two fraternity pledges looking to hire a stripper for a frat party stumble into a gentlemen's club that happens to be a front for a den of vampires - led by new-wave diva Grace Jones. This MTV styled horror comedy starts off strong but runs out of gas way before the end.

[RCMerchant]

"Vamp" (1986) two fraternity pledges looking to hire a stripper for a frat party stumble into a gentlemen's club that happens to be a front for a den of vampires - led by new-wave diva Grace Jones. This MTV styled horror comedy starts off strong but runs out of gas way before the end.

Grace Jones-with her weird body paint-was cool. I agree about the rest.

[Jack]

I was too fixated on Dedee Pfeiffer's cuteness to worry about much else in Vamp lol.

Mystery Science Theater 3000: Future War (1999) - some Jean-Claude Van Damme wannabe (John-Claude Gosh Darn as the guys call him) comes from the future and is pursued by plastic dinosaurs and a cyborg guy. He meets up with a woman who lives at a halfway house for huge guys and together they make the plastic dinosaurs tip off ledges and stuff. There are many, many empty cardboard boxes involved. Laughed my butt off during this one, hadn't watched an MST3K in quite a while and forgot how silly they were. 4/5.

[JaseSF]

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (2009): An inventor named Flint Lockwood (voiced by Bill Hader) hasn't had much success with his inventions. When his town Swallow Falls hits an economic crisis with the closure of the local sardine cannery, Flint is hopeful his most recent invention, a device capable of turning water into food, might help save the town.  However as is often the case for Flint, something goes terribly wrong and his device ends up rocketed up into the atmosphere where it starts raining down food from the sky! The town's ambitious and shifty Mayor Shelbourne (voiced by Bruce Campbell) sees this as a new way to help the town and save his own neck. However Flint along with newly arrived weather girl Sam Sparks (voiced by Anna Faris) soon begin to realize something is seriously wrong with the device in the atmosphere as the food is growing larger and more and more dangerous.

What I really liked about this fun little CG animated fantasy adventure was how it encourages people to be true to their individual selves and to follow their dreams. I also enjoyed the focus and importance put on family connections and how that helps shape individuals into who they are. The idea of food falling from the sky is fun and imaginative even though in reality it would prove troublesome very quickly, which ultimately does get addressed here although in reality one suspects it would actually be much worse. Still this is a kids fantasy film so one probably shouldn't be thinking or dwelling too much on its flaws in logic. A good little movie with a good message in the end and a lot of fun during the ride to get there. Perhaps not quite up to Pixar levels but still an enjoyable film. ***1/2 out of ***** stars.

Babysitters Beware (2009): Danny Parker (Trenton Rogers) is known for being good for both his parents and babysitters. However, he soon learns being good means he never sees his parents as his Dad is always busy with evening business meetings and dinners. So he decides he has to be bad to get the attention he wants. Eventually he realizes if he wants to see even more of his father whom he wants to play baseball with him, he needs to be really bad, bad enough to get put on the "No-Sit List" meaning no babysitter will look after him. However, he may meet his challenge in the form of a new sitter nicknamed "The Guard" (Danny Trejo), a badass biker dude/former prison security guard named Santiago who isn't going to put up with any guff from anybody.

This was just plain average. It has some brief fun moments where Danny is outwitting his hapless babysitters but these don't last that long and this stuff has been done better before in other films. Danny Trejo, who's billed highly on the DVD for this one, is really only briefly in this film and his appearance ultimately proves somewhat short-lived and disappointing (not to mention one wonders what he's doing in this thoroughly run of the mill kids movie). Dee Wallace also has a brief appearance in this one as an unpopular babysitter known for her hatred of electronics. Rico Rodriguez (of Modern Family fame) also appears in this as Danny's best friend who eggs him on in his actions. Brittany Renee Finamore actually leaves the most memorable impression in this one as a likable babysitter named Janelle. The most disturbing thing about this film is that one of the kids Danny looks up to in terms of becoming good at being bad is a bully who likes to bat rocks through people's car windows. Despite all the talent involved here, this movie is just plain run of the mill and everyone involved just seems to have been picking up a pay cheque with this one. **1/2 out of ***** stars.

[lester1/2jr]

Future War was something else. odd to see such a big star ins such an unbelievably cheap and bad movie.

[Rev. Powell]

Future War was something else. odd to see such a big star ins such an unbelievably cheap and bad movie.

You think Robert Z'dar is a big star??? Or did you mean Van Damme-lookalike Daniel Bernhardt (I see he went on to play "District 9 Male Tribute" in HUNGER GAMES 2)?

I think FUTURE WAR is a great and generally underrated MST3K episode. The movie is hilarious on its own.

[claws]

The Craft (1996)

Sarah is the new girl at school and soon joins a small group of "outcasts" - three girls practicing witchcraft. It's all fun and games until they evoke a spirit and abuse it's power, causing one girl turning evil.
Flashy and entertaining supernatural horror that, according to wikki, became a cult favorite over the years. This film is notorious for displaying thousands of snakes and bugs. Those scenes are still quite effective. There's also some typical 1990s CGI at work, which still looks better than any computer animation SyFy or The Asylum unleashes these days. 4/5

Showgirls (1995)

Beautiful drifter Nomi who used to be a whore hitchhikes to Las Vegas to become a dancer. She befriends a seamstress who repairs costumes for the dancers at the popular "Goddess" show. Soon enough Nomi gets to audition for a Goddess part and sees herself entangled with Cristal, the star of the show. Cristal is a true work of art as she finds pleasure in sexually teasing and mentally torturing Nomi.
What can I say, it's a bad movie classic. The most expensive exploitation movie ever made   5/5

[Jack]

Mystery Science Theater 3000: Night of the Blood Beast (1996) - an astronaut crash lands on earth and a small crew of NASA people is dispatched to investigate. Next thing you know the guy, originally thought to be dead, has come back to life and has little sea horses growing inside him. And of course there's a Blood Beast lurking about. I actually kind of like this movie and although the MST3K guys were funny in the first half it seemed to me like they were trying way too hard in the second half. Still okay though. 3/5.

[Rev. Powell]

Mystery Science Theater 3000: Night of the Blood Beast (1996) - an astronaut crash lands on earth and a small crew of NASA people is dispatched to investigate. Next thing you know the guy, originally thought to be dead, has come back to life and has little sea horses growing inside him. And of course there's a Blood Beast lurking about. I actually kind of like this movie and although the MST3K guys were funny in the first half it seemed to me like they were trying way too hard in the second half. Still okay though. 3/5.

If you can, watch it with the alternate "Turkey Day" host segments where Jack Perkins hits on Mr. B-Natural instead of the painful Pearl-Dr. F segments.

YOKAI MONSTERS: SPOOK WARFARE [AKA BIG MONSTER WAR]: Japanese folk spirits (yokai) unite to fight off an ancient Babylonian vampire who has assumed the form of a local lord. A strange little movie that can't decide whether it wants to be a real horror film or a children's horror comedy; the yokai monster concepts are great, but the actual foam rubber puppets are creepy in unintended ways. It gets points for being unlike anything you've seen before, sort of a blend of a Sid & Marty Krofft saturday morning TV show, Hammer horror, and a samurai flick. 3.5/5.

[lester1/2jr]

that wasn't van damme?

[Rev. Powell]

that wasn't van damme?

I give you props on not knowing Jean-Claude Van Damme well enough to recognize a bad imitation. It shows you're a man of taste.

[lester1/2jr]

I've seen a couple I saw the Kumite one, JCVD and Legioniaires . I seriously thought that was Van Damme in an early s**tty movie

The Disappeared (2008) - This is an entertaining enough British horror movie that probably could have used some of Hollywood's help, as much as I hate to admit it. A kid is babysitting his younger brother and the younger brother goes missing. As a result the older babysitting brother goes nuts and the movie starts when he comes home from the institution situation. Not only is he having guilt induced visions of the missing brother, but he isn't getting along with his Dad and there's a gang of street toughs, who I nicknamed The Red Herring Gang, who are giving him a hard time.

The underlying idea here is solid enough but the director doesn't quite have the "bollocks" as they say over there to pull it off with the necessary aplomb. It's not bad, it just seems like it could have used some guidance by people with more experience than those who were on hand. Instead of being afraid of what the next scene has to offer you are more sort of rooting for it to not be embarrassing for all of them. That's no way to get sacred. decent enough though 3.75 /5

[Jack]

Attack Of The Killer Computer (1989) - a record producer has a house that's controlled by a computer. He brings various sluts over, the computer gets jealous and kills them. The killings are...different. The computer shines a laser pointer on a girl's nipple, which causes her to cough up blood and die. It then uses the tanning bed to reduce her to ashes. Without even scorching the towel she was lying on. A couple of other girls are killed by dissolving them completely in hot water. Only takes about 30 seconds; bones and all.

The main guy could kind of act but he was the only one. Worst part is it was just so boring. Most of the movie was just this guy talking to his assistant about what could be happening. I found it more interesting to stand in the window and watch it rain rather than watch all of this. Even a lot of nudity couldn't save it. 1.5/5.