Recent viewings

[Trevor]

I had a chance to see this at the National Arts Festival two weeks ago but I was struggling down there because of lack of sleep. I would have liked to have seen it. 

[Jack]

3 Headed Shark Attack (2015) - so there's this underwater research facility and a 3 headed shark comes along and destroys it. Luckily it's on an island, so the survivors are safe. But they decide to get on a boat; there are people on the boat so they could bring it in close to shore, but instead they decide to swim hundreds of yards out to it in order to give the shark ample opportunity to eat them. This level of idiocy will be repeated throughout the movie. Then they go to some paddle wheeler full of partying kids (I thought paddle wheelers were mostly river craft but this is supposed to takes place in the middle of the ocean). Anyhow the shark keeps ramming the boat causing kids to fly off the sides, which drags on for at least an hour. We don't know any of these kids so it's impossible to care when they die. They keep talking about how the engine is about to give out, but being a paddle wheeler, you can clearly see in about 20 shots that the paddle never moves.

So anyhow, then they try to make it to the nearest land, which someone says is 15 miles away. Please disregard the land that you can see in the background of each and every shot throughout the movie, which is about 300 yards away. After that they decide to go to the big garbage dump in the middle of the river "ocean", where they theorize that the shark will eat itself to death. Never mind that the freakin' movie started out at the garbage dump. We get slo-mo shots of a guy swimming, cut to the shark, slo-mo swimming, shark. Guy finally gets back to the boat but instead of climbing aboard, 'cause a shark is right behind him, he decides to have a leisurely swim around to the other side before he gets on. Etcetera.

No character development, no plot, and most of all no effort. What a complete waste of time. 1.5/5.

[indianasmith]

That's sad, TWO HEADED SHARK ATTACK was actually quite good.

[lester1/2jr]

hopefully 4 headed shark attack will be a return to form

[Jack]

That's sad, TWO HEADED SHARK ATTACK was actually quite good.

Yeah I liked that one, even got it on Blu ray. 

[lester1/2jr]

The Uninvited- this was a pretty cool movie that I guess some people, all of whom let you know they saw the original Korean one "Tale of Two Sisters", didn't like. Well, for one, if you did see that there's certainly no reason to see this because you know already what to expect. "I've seen the original Asian movie" is the new the book is better.

A girl, played by cute vaguely Asian looking actress Emily Browning, is released from a mental facility after being committed following her mother's accidental death in a horrible fire/ explosion. Since she left, her late Mom's nurse has taken up with her Dad and is now commandeering the house and being stepmotherly in every respect. Her only ally is her wild older sister Alex, with whom she works to uncover the mystery of her Mom's death. As is often the case in these "horror" films as they are commonly known, the girl is also a medium of some sort able to receive messages from the dead.

It wasn't hugely scary but it was entertaining. It had a nice loose atmosphere and the setting at some sort of lake house was laid back and scenic. The stepmother character was a little over the top and the plot was certainly not air tight. If you're cynical there are probably a number of reasons not to like it but I'm not in particular and I did.

3.75/5

[Jack]

The Pact II (2014) - this girl is having dreams or maybe hallucinations about the killer from the first movie. All he does is stand there looking not-too-scary though, and it wasn't long before I got a bit tired with the repetition. Anyhow people start turning up dead and we're left to wonder if the killer is back from the grave, or maybe it's a copycat killer, or maybe the girls is just nuts. I never felt intrigued as to what the answer might be, I just felt like I was watching a very transparent attempt to keep me guessing. The ending was, well...decent. Not nearly as good as the first movie. On the good side though, it did have some nice creepy atmosphere and the main girl was cute as could be. I made it sound like I didn't like it much but the atmosphere and characters made up for its shortcomings. 4/5.

[Rev. Powell]

PSYCH-OUT (1968): A deaf runaway goes to Haight-Ashbury in search of her burnout brother, who has sent her a postcard reading "God is alive and well in a sugar cube." Low on plot and high on kaleidoscope lenses, this psychedelic capsule has lost a most of its potency over the past 50 years. 2/5.

[FatFreddysCat]

"Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!" (2015)

http://youtu.be/mAmYUt1-5Rg
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SyFy's favorite schlocky franchise returns for a third go round. The heroic Fin (Ian Ziering) is receiving the Presidential Medal of Honor for his bravery during the previous two films when Washington D.C. is abruptly wiped out by the most powerful Sharknado yet. Fin then has to make his way to Universal Studios Orlando (product placement, anyone?) to rescue his wife and daughter, and also figure out how to stop a massive "Wall of Sharknados" from destroying the entire East Coast. This flick lays the "campy" on thicker than the first two films combined, and packs in even more ridiculous celebrity cameos (Lou Ferrigno! Ann Coulter! Bo Derek! Mark Cuban! Jerry Springer! The kid from "Malcolm in the Middle" whose name I can never remember! George R.R. Martin! Kathie Lee, Hoda and the entire "Today Show" anchor team!). Plus, there's a last minute save from... the Hoff!
Obviously I love this kinda crap, and yes, "3" has its moments of silly fun, but most of the time it feels like it's trying too hard. The concept has obviously run its course, but since this one ends with a totally bullsh*t "cliffhanger" which sets up a "4," I'm sure there will be a new installment same time, next year.

[lester1/2jr]

MST3K Lost Continent - Joel episode. The movie is particularly drab they are constantly climbing this stupid mountain. The pay off is these claymation dinosaurs that were probably already corny when this came out in the 50's. Some MST3K's fade to the background more than others and this one def does.

[Jack]

Jerry Springer!

I thought I spotted him for just a second before he got munched 

[Rev. Powell]

THE TRIP (1967): A director of commercials headed for a divorce takes LSD hoping for insight into his life; he gets it, while seeing plenty of pretty swirling colors and getting in trouble when he wanders off from his tripsitter. Trendsetting visual effects (which quickly became cliches) are the highlight of this surprisingly serious and experimental attempt from Roger Corman (of all people) to depict and explore the psychedelic experience. 3.5/5.

[FatFreddysCat]

"Message From Space" (1978)

http://youtu.be/PsecNez4SBQ
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A group of star pilots from Earth are "chosen" by a mysterious force to defend an alien planet from invaders in this cheap sh*t, utterly random Japanese "Star Wars" knock off . The story is incomprehensible, the special effects and dubbing suck and the late 70s disco-era sets and costumes are painful to the eyes. I felt sorriest for American tough-guy character actor Vic Morrow, who drops in here for a quick paycheck playing some sort of mighty galactic general and ends up spending the last quarter of the film wearing a skin tight silver lame' space uniform and a beret. Oh, Vic, you're soooo butch!  :affraid:

As low budget foreign "Star Wars" wanna-be's go, this one makes my personal favorite, Italy's "Star Crash," look like Kubrick's "2001" by comparison. "Message From Space" is worth a look only if you have a severe tolerance for bad-movie pain.

[Jack]

Hayride 2 (2015) - watched this again. Thought it was boring as hell the first time and sure enough, thought it was boring as hell the second time too. The survivors from the first movie (which I haven't seen) are in a hospital getting their injuries taken care of, but mostly they just sit and talk. And talk. And talk some more. The hulking killer is lurking about knocking someone off occasionally. Got a kick out of the way he kills the receptionist, and the cops are there, but do they evacuate the building or anything? Nope, they just get somebody else to fill in on the reception desk. And she seems utterly unconcerned about what happened to her predecessor lol. Characters were marginally developed but they were just really boring people. At least the action picked up a bit at the end.  2/5.

From the Dark (2014) - a young couple are driving through rural Ireland and their car gets stuck. Odd that the whole road was bone dry except for the one patch of mud where their rear tires were. Anyhow they go to a house and the guy who lives there has turned into a vampire. They spend the rest of the movie huddled by the only light in the place, but having to venture out into the dark parts of the house frequently for one reason or another. It's hard not to laugh when they end up holding off a vampire with the light of a single match. There was no character development and no chemistry between the two leads (I thought they were supposed to be brother and sister until an hour in when they kissed), and not even a hint of a plot. You really need something for these two to try and accomplish, like an opportunity for escape, or a plan to kill the vampire, in order to keep the viewer interested. But there was nothing of the sort. 2/5.

[Rev. Powell]

MONSTROID [AKA MONSTER] (1980): A Loch Ness type creature who lives in a Brazilian lake kills extras. Bad lighting, bad editing, bad continuity, bad acting, a badly made monster puppet, all in service of a bad script, make for a bad movie. Even the end credits scroll is badly done. 0.5/5.