Recent viewings

[Wag]

Despite an earlier claim to the contrary, I did manage to watch Ronin yesterday. It was not really a film that I have ever wanted to see based solely on the cover, but was "encouraged" by a friend to see it. He claimed it had the best car chase scene ever, and since Circus already made this claim of To Live And Die IN L.A., I thought I would watch it and decide for myself.

I am glad I did. I really enjoyed the film. It was nothing like I thought it would be, very action packed and even had Robert De Niro dressing like Columbo at the start. The driving scenes? Very good, although I am sitting on the fence when it comes to choosing the best (I recall a good car chase scene in The Bourne Identity too, so may need to watch all three back-to-back)

[Doggett]

Mulholland Drive.
5/5
I love this film, even though I don't know what's going on in the last 20 mins. It involves a woman (Rita) who loses her memory in a car accident and then hooks up with a woman (Betty) who just moved to Hollywood in search of stardom. Then Betty and Rita go off to find Rita's real identity, in the course of which they become lovers. There is also some stuff involving a director, a blue box, a cowboy, and miniature old people.

In the end it all goes a bit mental !

[Jack]

War Wolves (2009) - A co-ed group of American soldiers are in Iraq.  They're attacked by "dog men", basically regular Iraqi guys in fancy clothes.  Six months later, they're all back in America, gone their separate ways, leading rather depressing lives for the most part.  We eventually - and I do mean eventually - find out they're sort of werewolves.  They grow fangs, their ears stick out, and their noses turn brown.  The nose thing actually looks pretty funny.  It'll take about two-thirds of the movie before any of this happens.  Apparently the girl werewolves want one of the guys to be their leader, but he's not so keen on the idea.  There's a fight and...I dunno.  Nothing much really gets resolved.  We meet Elvis and it just sort of ends.  If you're one of those people who proudly announces that you watch INDEPENDENT films, you'll probably like this.  It's scatter-shod, weird, can't decide if it wants to be a Lifetime movie of the week, a comedy, or a cheesy Sci-Fi Channel Original.  If you're someone who watches movies, hoping you'll see a good one, and the movies you favor just happen to be independent, you'll probably wind up rather befuddled by this mess.  It's truly pointless.  2/5.

[lester1/2jr]

first blood two: rambo -   I had never seen this.  I knew it was probably pretty good but something about it repelled me.  It's not going to become one of my all time favorites but it's pretty amazing.  It's like one of those really new really hi tech video games that, if you are like me,  you have no idea how to play.  very expensive with alot of attention paid to detail and so forth.  but overall the thing it reminded me of the most was 24.   That's an understatement really. Besides the fact that rambo has bigger muscles than jack bauer this is exactly like 24:  inward searching stuf with anger towards the government and patriotism at the same time,   enemies who respect what a great guy he want him dead, and some very unlikely good luck, in this case his cute thai sidekick lady.  and of course the plot twists.    It's commonly labeled right wing but it's alot more complicated than that. 5/5

[InformationGeek]

The entire weekend, I watched nothing but Mystery Science Theater episodes, so I'll get to what I watched:

The Beast of Yucca Flats: 4 out of 5 (Good short clips, but kind of boring unfunny at some points)
The Giant Spider Invasion: 5 out of 5 (As a resident of Wisconsin, this was a pretty good one.  Though I don't really know where I would find rednecks like those in the movie.  Part of the original film was shot in my hometown)
Hobgoblins: 4 out of 5 (I already watched this one previous, so there isn't much to go into detail)
Space Mutiny: 4 out of 5 (I loved the part where they ripped on the chase scene with the floor buffers, I couldn't stop laughing.  Though it slowed down seriously when it reached the end.)

I also watched the two episodes I got on my Essenitals DVD as well

"Manos" The Hands of Fate: 4 out of 5 (Though said to be one the best episodes, it didn't really live up to the hype I like wanted.  Still good, but not the best)
Santa Claus Conqueors the Martians: 4 out of 5 (It had a bit of a slow middle which sort of dragged it down for me, but the first and final part of the movie were awesome.  I love the polar bear costume part.

[Sister Grace]

Dance of the Dead- zombies take over a highschool at prom. It really wasn't that bad, but i didn't think it was as funny as it could have been. I can't help but sometimes like a movie that makes fun of its ownself.

[Hammock Rider]

Gas Pump Girls

I know in the IMDB this movie is listed with a release year of 1979 but plenty of the jokes are from the early 20th century. The story and dialogue read like the producers hired some dirty old men who had once possibly worked in a vaudeville theater, possibly as janitors, to expand a porn script into a full length feature film suitable for drive-in theaters. Seriously, many of the jokes sound like something your creepy Grandpa Joe would tell down t the VFW post when Joey Heatherton would pop in on the Merv Griffin Show.

The movie is about a gas station run by Huntz Hall which is going out of business because of a shiny big new gas station, which opens across the street. Huntz has a heart attack and his niece June and her friends decide to take over running the station in order to keep it from closing. They decide they can beat the new station with all its amenities by sexyin' up their joint. If the story were any thinner you could serve it at McDonalds between two buns and a pickle.

But you know what? The darn movie grows on you. The jokes eventually become more charming in a corny way. For example, after Uncle Joe's heart attack, his doctor walks away from Uncle Joe's sick bed shaking his head. As he approaches the family, still shaking his head vigorously from side to side, they grow anxious and one of them blurts out," Doctor, what's wrong?" The doctor massages the back of his neck with his hand and says, " My neck, I've had a terrible crick in it for almost a week".

This movie has some laughs, some dirty jokes, a bit of naive 70's charm and a little topless nudity. There are worse ways to spend an evening.

[lester1/2jr]

hammock rider-  what format is that

[Pilgermann]

Tale of Despereaux -- Saw it this past weekend.  It was a very enjoyable movie for the most part, lots of great visuals, but there was a horribly obnoxious child in the theater.

War of the Roses -- A dark comedy about a bad marriage and an even worse divorce.  Kind of bordered on being too mean-spirited at times, but overall I found it amusing.

Cameron's Closet -- Holy crap, I didn't know what I was in for.  This tells the story of a boy named Cameron whose father honed his telekinetic powers, but accidentally unleased an ancient demon.  This movie is pretty darn funny (except for one scene that scared the pee outta me) with a rediculous and hole-filled plot, bad acting, horrible effects, a man with a mustache that changes size and shade (aka it was a real mustache at one point and false at another), and a hilarious beheading.  It free on FearNet on demand, and I recommend it for a laugh.  Here's the trailer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eM8Z2Dj9wPE
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[Jack]

The Stay Awake (1987) - Watched this again.  Some girls at a boarding school in France (where everyone speaks with Aussie accents) are menaced by a hilarious green monster.  The first half of the movie is mostly people walking through hallways while the scary music plays.  The second half is like an After School Special gone terribly wrong.  One of my favorite "so bad it's good" movies.  You could make a great drinking game out of spotting the red fire hose at the end of the hall - it's in half the scenes.  Acting is bad, dialog is humorously awkward.  Some lines are guaranteed for a chuckle.  The movie does have some good atmosphere though.  If you were 12 years old and at a sleepover party at a friend's house, this would be the perfect movie!  4/5.

[Torgo]

COMMANDO   *** out of ****.   Classic Schwarzenegger!

[Rev. Powell]

BLOOD DINER (1987): Two restauranteur brothers must assemble a vessel to receive the spirit of the ancient Egyptian goddess Sheetar from various parts harvested from immoral women, and the rest just sort of writes itself. With a talking brain in a jar and a nude aerobics massacre, it can't be all bad, but it tries hard by adding excedingly lame humor and gratuitous Nazi imagery to the mix.  I remember people HATED this when it came out, because they were expecting a BLOOD FEAST remake, but now it's considered a cult classic because of the insane plot and comic gore.  I'm not crazy about it but think it's memorable and worth a look, and I imagine most people in this forum would like it.  It's not on DVD, though.    2.5/5. 

GIRL SLAVES OF MORGANA LE FAY (1971):  After stopping for a bout of lesbian sex, two beautiful young girls stumble upon the castle of the witchlike Morgan, who, in exchange for their souls, offers them eternal youth, luxury, and all the lesbian sex they can fit into a day. Shot in an actual castle, with diaphanous gowns, readings from Baudelaire and other decadent trappings, it's perfect for the lesbian sex fetishist who likes a little art with his/her lesbian sex.  2.5/5.

[Jack]

Dead and Deader (2006) - This starts out as a zombie movie, actually very original and interesting.  Dean Cain awakes on the doctor's table, unfortunately the doctor is a pathologist - Dean is dead.  He's in the military, and starts looking for the other members of his squad, who are also thought to be dead.  So then we get the comedy relief character.  That knocks the movie down a notch, like I say it was pretty original and interesting and now we're into tired cliché territory.  By the halfway point, it becomes and outright comedy.  Not a horror movie with comedic overtones, I'm talking ditch the horror aspect completely and go straight to idiotic.  It makes a couple of attempts to go back to funny-horror before the end, but let's face it, this thing is toast.  Nothing can be taken seriously.  2/5. 

[lester1/2jr]

GI Executioner-      When I saw this was directed by Joel M Reed (the brilliant "the career bed" and...also "bloodsucking freaks")I thought I might be discovering some kind of lost classic but it was not to be.   While there are many fantastic shots of swingin' Singapore circa 1975 , some hot girls, and a cool sountrack, the movie itself just doesn't work.  The main problem is the star, who is horrendously miscast.  He is like some sort of cross between Tony Randall and Dean Martin and we are supposed to believe he's this big time ladies man.  John Saxon or someone like that would have been perfect.  It thoroughly sinks the pretty rote storyline of CIA and revenge and so forth.  dissapointing. 

[Jack]

Unrest (2006) - Some medical students are beginning their gross anatomy class, dissecting cadavers.  Our main characters get a corpse that's not only really spooky looking, but everyone who comes into contact with it seems to meet a grizzly end.  The rest of the movie is spent with Alison (Corri English) trying to get to the bottom of the mystery, before she also winds up dead.  This was quite good.  The main babe is really likable, and really easy on the eyes.  The atmosphere in the hospital is appropriately uneasy, and the level of suspense kept me pretty interested.  The only problem is the story - it's a great idea, but the execution isn't so hot.  The movie gets pretty slow in places, and the big reveal at the end was way too rushed.  Building up to it slowly would have been much more effective.  Still, enjoyable enough to get a 4/5.