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FatFreddysCat
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« Reply #10815 on: December 23, 2017, 07:51:51 AM »

"Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker" (1991)
A child and his mother are targeted by a manufacturer of lethal playthings in this bizarro Yuletide mash up of "Pinocchio" and "Puppet Master."  The "Silent Night, Deadly Night" franchise limped to a (merciful) end with this fifth direct-to-video installment, which may actually be the best-made one of the lot.
Interestingly enough, the mysterious "Toy Maker" of the title is played by slumming Hollywood legend Mickey Rooney, who'd been one of the most vocal critics of the original "SN, DN" film. Way to stick by your principles there, Mick.
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FatFreddysCat
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« Reply #10816 on: December 23, 2017, 03:48:05 PM »

"The Hebrew Hammer" (2003)

Adam Goldberg is Mordechai Jefferson Carver, aka "The Hebrew Hammer" - a pimped-out, bad-ass Orthodox protector of all things Jewish, who's called into action when Santa's evil son (Andy Dick at his coked-out best) takes over operations at the North Pole and plans to wipe Hanukkah off the calendar. 

This very funny holiday themed blaxploitation/action parody ala "Undercover Brother" or the "Austin Powers" flicks skewers pretty much every ethnic and racial stereotype you can think of.  

I guarantee, it's the only movie you'll ever see where the hero walks into a bar full of Nazi skinheads, pulls out two giant guns and says "SHABBAT SHALOM, MOTHERF***ERS!"
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BoyScoutKevin
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« Reply #10817 on: December 23, 2017, 04:09:30 PM »

JEEPERS CREEPERS 3 (2017) The first JEEPERS CREEPERS was a brilliant, dark horror film that freaked me out so badly I literally paused it, turned the lights on, and walked around the house for a bit to calm down at one point - one of the very few scary movies that truly got under my skin.  The sequel was pedestrian and forgettable, and I truly thought that would be the end.  But a decade later, along comes number 3.  While falling far short of the original movie, this was a good deal better than the second one and had some genuinely creepy moments.  I was frustrated with one seemingly significant plot development that was simply abandoned without explanation, but other than that, this one was fairly enjoyable.  3.5/5

I refuse to watch any film made by a pedophile and make him richer.

For the record, that stuff didn't come out until long after I saw the first movie.  I have no idea if this latest sequel was made by the same director or not.  There's so much obnoxious and evil behavior coming out of Hollywood anymore I just tend to go numb to it.

As to the question as to whether this was made by the same director or not, the answer is Yes. The director/writer being one Victor Salva.
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indianasmith
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« Reply #10818 on: December 23, 2017, 11:31:50 PM »

Really?  I seriously wonder why he's not in jail?  Did he get off on some technicality?

(Note to self:  If they make a JEEPERS CREEPERS 4, don't rent it!)
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claws
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« Reply #10819 on: December 24, 2017, 12:09:32 AM »

47 Meters Down (2017)

Two sisters on vacation in Mexico decide to go cage diving even though they have no experience in doing so. Unfortunately the cable holding the cage rips and the girls are trapped 47 meters below the surface, with limited air supply and hungry sharks circling the cage.

Not a perfect but decent enough time waster that takes a while to get the action going. There are obvious flaws, but some of the thrilling shark suspense scenes do make up for it. Rating: 2.5/5 (Flawed but Worthy).

The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016)

A father & son medical examiners team perform an autopsy on a mysterious female corpse found at a grisly crime scene. Much to their surprise they discover things inside the dead woman that can't and shouldn't be, leading to series of supernatural happenings that put both men into danger.

According to wiki the script was deemed risky/controversial and has been on the black list for years. After watching and being impressed by The Conjuring (2013) Norwegian film director André Řvredal found inspiration to do a full fledged horror movie as a follow up to his critically acclaimed film Trollhunter (2010).
The Autopsy of Jane Doe certainly delivers the goods and hey, even Stephen King was impressed. If that doesn't count for something then I don't know what does. Rating: 3.5/5 (Very Good).
« Last Edit: December 24, 2017, 11:57:58 PM by claws » Logged
Rev. Powell
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« Reply #10820 on: December 24, 2017, 06:56:21 PM »

GIRLS TRIP (2017): Four college friends reunite for a trip to New Orleans for the Essence Awards, where the most successful of them, a celebrity author hailed as "the next Oprah," will be a keynote speaker. Raunchy formula comedy in the HANGOVER/BRIDESMAIDS mold, with an acceptable number of laughs. 2.5/5.
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« Reply #10821 on: December 26, 2017, 09:54:53 AM »

THE SQUARE (2017): A museum curator's cell phone is stolen a few days before a big exhibition. Part satire of the art world, part meditation on the role of trust in society, it's full of well-executed individual scenes (like a chimp-man performance art piece gone too far), but approaches its themes so obliquely that you have no idea what to think or feel about them. 3/5.
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indianasmith
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« Reply #10822 on: December 27, 2017, 08:42:13 PM »

LYCAN (2017)  Six college kids go on a camping trip into the woods to research the stories of a werewolf who was supposedly buried there a century and a half ago.  Of course, they start disappearing, and it appears that one of the group knows more than they are letting on.  Is it the football star, the black activist, the debutant,  the stoner, the creepy hot chick, or the sorority pledge?  Blood, boobs, and a rather confusing plot.  Worth a $2 rental but not much more!  3/5
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« Reply #10823 on: December 28, 2017, 06:21:47 PM »

Babes in toyland - rewatch. enjoyed it just as much the second time. Laurel and Hardy are in Mother Goose land and work to help the disturbingly hot Little bo Peep turn away the advances of the bad guy whatever his name was. A monkey dressed as a mouse, ridiculous and crazy looking three little pigs and weird unpredictable shenangins are just some of the sundry delights herein. 5/5
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« Reply #10824 on: December 29, 2017, 04:40:06 AM »

Big Trouble in Little China (1986)
First time seeing this (I've been meaning to for years) Id always heard it was a little bit crazy and quite a fun watch...honestly?; eh...I mean i'd watch it again but it had its issues...kurt russell and the supporting cast are on form...but I think I might have been spoiled by the Marvel movies inherent tongue in cheek cavalier attitude...it just never quite found its place for me...not solidly funny enough to be an out and out action comedy...not nearly straight enough to be an all out guns blazing buddy action movie...Nice Cine, Direction and Choreography mind...just a lot flatter than I expected.
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claws
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« Reply #10825 on: December 29, 2017, 10:48:52 AM »

Alien: Covenant (2017)

10 years after the Prometheus (2012) "incident" another space crew on a mission picks up a signal from the "Alien Planet". They go investigating and find strange things while they become human incubators for the alien creatures.

Technically there is nothing wrong with Alien: Covenant. It is a well made movie. Ridley Scott took a different approach at the Alien saga, giving synthetic characters time for character development, resulting in viewers not caring much about the human crew. Scott also tones down suspense and scares in favor of slick bloody action. There isn't even one single cheap jump scare or any kind of scares to be found at all. And this coming from the same guy who made Alien one of the scariest movies ever  Buggedout Still, I can't be mad at him and I actually enjoyed A:C more than part 3 and 4. Rating: 3.5/5 (Very Good).
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Rev. Powell
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« Reply #10826 on: December 29, 2017, 11:38:22 AM »

KIN DZA-DZA (1986): Two Russians are whisked away to a strange alien world a must find their way back home. Sci-fi satire with a low-tech junkyard aesthetic that seems to be about the way Soviets viewed the capitalist world---the focus is on the alien society's absurd class system and bizarre economy. I had heard about this movie, which is a cult item in Russia, but never thought I would get the chance to see it--but I found it by accident on Amazon Prime while looking for something else. Not everything I'd hoped it would be but a worthwhile curiosity. It's also on YouTube, legitimately uploaded by Mosfilm. 3/5.
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javakoala
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« Reply #10827 on: December 29, 2017, 08:40:31 PM »

KIN DZA-DZA (1986): Two Russians are whisked away to a strange alien world a must find their way back home. Sci-fi satire with a low-tech junkyard aesthetic that seems to be about the way Soviets viewed the capitalist world---the focus is on the alien society's absurd class system and bizarre economy. I had heard about this movie, which is a cult item in Russia, but never thought I would get the chance to see it--but I found it by accident on Amazon Prime while looking for something else. Not everything I'd hoped it would be but a worthwhile curiosity. It's also on YouTube, legitimately uploaded by Mosfilm. 3/5.

Did you watch the whole 3 freaking hours? There is a Part 1 and Part 2 on Prime. Made the same year. Looks like the same people.

You are one committed dude, Rev.
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Rev. Powell
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« Reply #10828 on: December 29, 2017, 09:05:01 PM »

KIN DZA-DZA (1986): Two Russians are whisked away to a strange alien world a must find their way back home. Sci-fi satire with a low-tech junkyard aesthetic that seems to be about the way Soviets viewed the capitalist world---the focus is on the alien society's absurd class system and bizarre economy. I had heard about this movie, which is a cult item in Russia, but never thought I would get the chance to see it--but I found it by accident on Amazon Prime while looking for something else. Not everything I'd hoped it would be but a worthwhile curiosity. It's also on YouTube, legitimately uploaded by Mosfilm. 3/5.

Did you watch the whole 3 freaking hours? There is a Part 1 and Part 2 on Prime. Made the same year. Looks like the same people.

You are one committed dude, Rev.

It's actually only two hours. Prime screwed it up. They put the entire 2 hour film up, then put up part 2 (which is 1 hour long) separately.
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indianasmith
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« Reply #10829 on: December 29, 2017, 11:41:51 PM »

I bought a DVD at Wal-Mart yesterday which is the first season of the Showtime series The Masters of Horror.
Each episode runs an hour, give or take, and is directed by a noted maker of horror films.  Tonight I watched two of them:

CIGARETTE BURNS directed by Clive Barker.  It is about a theater owner who runs a side business of seeking out rare film prints for private collectors.  He is hired to find a notorious film, LA FINIS ABSOLUE DE MONDE, which was only shown one time, at a film festival in the eighties.  The audience went insane, people died, and the film was destroyed. Or was it?  This is a very well done and creepy little piece with a terrifying denouement.

DREAMS IN THE WITCH HOUSE directed by Stuart Gordon.  This is based on the famous H.P. Lovecraft story by the same title and is absolutely brilliant. One of the better Lovecraft adaptations I have ever seen.
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