Bad Kung Fu

[TheAtomicAndrew]

I have always wanted to get into poorly made or poorly funded Martial Arts films, but I never know where to look.  Everytime I ask around, all I get are classic ones or the comedic ones that are 'trying' to be funny.  For that matter, people also give me Kaiju, and although ten-story reptiles may be employing some manner of "Giant Rubber Fist" style, I'm afraid that's not what I had in mind.

So I ask you, you brave masters of the Cinematic Wasteland, could you suggest me a Martial Arts film worth it's resting place in the bargain bin at ShopKo?

[RapscallionJones]

The dollar bin by the registers at Walmart lately has been stocking some winners.  I've seen one called Deadly Shaolin Kicks that looks completely awful and one with the greatest title of any martial arta movie ever: The Guy With The Secret Kung Fu.  They can't be good.

Also, look for anything directed by Godfrey Ho.  In particular, Undefeatable and the Catman movies.

I'd post some Youtube because they absolutely need to be seen in order to really understand what I'm talking about, but I'm blocked.

Look up Ultimate Ninja, Ninja Terminator and Undefeatable.  I guarantee you'll be laughing for days.

[Dr. Whom]

I just watched an Undefeatable clip. Now that's something else!

As far as pooly made martial arts films go, have you tried the Mortal Kombat series?

[Jim H]

Buy the 50 movie pack which retails for about $15.  There are some real gems in there, several legitimately good kung fu films, several quite watchable, and a number of ones in the so-bad-they're-great category.  Guy With the Secret Kung Fu is in there - by the way, there are two things wrong with that title...

Also good are the Deadly Duo, the Ninja Death Trilogy, Shadow Ninja, the one with the monks with the super tongues and the gorillas, and a number of others.

[Evan]

Robo Vampire is a really enjoyable bad kung fu movie.

[Torgo]

Robo Vampire is a really enjoyable bad kung fu movie.

I've got that on DVD. Absolutely hilarious.

[Xenorama]

here i thought this was about bad kung fu IN movies- like Angel attempting to tai chi in that tv series, or any of the wire fu nonsense from the mid-90s on from HK, or the now overused cg matrix crap that has to infest every movie in the world.

David

[lester1/2jr]

shaolin invincibles has kung fu apes.  any of the yeun brothers comedies like drunken wu tang and oh man there are like 3 more that are amazing.

[ghouck]

Drunken Wu Tang and The story of Ricky (Ricky-oh) are two that come to mind that are fun, , but not completely of the pure Kung Fu vein. both of them horribly bad in a rather good way. .

[Weltall]

As far as pooly made martial arts films go, have you tried the Mortal Kombat series?

Personally, I thought the first one fell into the 'B-movie done well' category, except for the actress playing Sonya who obviously couldn't fight (and the editors knew what to do about that). The second one now... yeah, you want bad martial arts, MK:Annihilation fits the bill. The only thing it lacks is a cheesy bad dub.

[RapscallionJones]

As far as pooly made martial arts films go, have you tried the Mortal Kombat series?

Personally, I thought the first one fell into the 'B-movie done well' category, except for the actress playing Sonya who obviously couldn't fight (and the editors knew what to do about that). The second one now... yeah, you want bad martial arts, MK:Annihilation fits the bill. The only thing it lacks is a cheesy bad dub.

I'm with you.  The first MK movie wasn't too bad.  It seems foolish to make a movie based on a tournament style fighting game, but whatever, that game was making money hand over first.  Sonya is based on Cynthia Rothrock.  Why didn't they just cast her?

[Susan]

i actually saw a LOT of kung fu movie at the Big Lots store this weekend. Years back they used to have kung fu theater weekends where they'd show badly dubbed movies with great action scenes made circa `76. But man they are fun

[Jim H]

To quote myself:

a film called The Dragon Lives Again.  One of the many Bruce Lee clone cashins after his death.

From IMDB: "The story follows Bruce Lee after he dies and ends up in Hell. Once there, he does the logical thing and opens a gym. After fending off the advances of the King Of Hell's naked wives, he discovers that the most evil people in Hell are attempting a takeover, so Bruce sets out to stop it. As if it wasn't weird enough, the evil people are: Zatoichi (the blind swordsman hero of Japanese film), James Bond, The Godfather, The Exorcist, Emmanuelle (the "heroine" of many European softcore porn films), Dracula, and, of course, Clint Eastwood (played by a Chinese guy). Aiding Bruce is The One-Armed Swordsman (hero of kung-fu films), Kain from the U.S. tv series, Kung-Fu (actually played by a Chinese guy this time), and Popeye the Sailor Man! Yes, Popeye the Sailor Man. He eats spinach and helps Bruce fight some mummies."

"Clint Eastwood" is really The Man With No Name from A Fistful of Dollars, et al.

You can find this film in a DVD set of 4 Bruce Lee clone films.  I can't remember what the set is called, but I bought it just for this film and it was worth it.

Great bad kung fu film, one of the most entertaining I've seen. 

[Behemoth]

I can't recommend NINJA TERMINATOR enough. It already has been mentionned, but I guess a deeper comment on that one is needed.

It's two movies in one (witch is quite common with Godffrey Ho). The first one is an HILARIOUS (mark my word) ninja movie with Richard Harrison about an idol that makes it's owner invicible, even for katanas... Prepare yourself for smoke and fire devices, explodings balls, teleportating ninjas, crabs killed by shurikens, bad dubbing and intense, ridiculous combats! The other half, inserted once in a while trought the ninja plot, is about a tale of revenge between a bad guy with a giant blondie wig and a kick-ass hero. We make an overdose of kung-fu in this one. Every twist of the plot is a good way to insert insane kung-fu fights. Nothing too extravagant, but still entertaining, just for the bad dialogues and the never ending fights.

[Torgo]

I'm surprise that both of the infamous Catman movies haven't been mentioned yet.