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Author Topic: The Unofficial Badmovies.org Random Thought Thread!  (Read 2696007 times)
El Misfit
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« Reply #17775 on: January 14, 2018, 09:00:14 PM »

I'm both physically and mentally exhausted from moving my dad's friend. He's getting a divorce from his soon to be ex, and she was at their soon to be gone house, along with their feral child.
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yeah no.
Alex
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« Reply #17776 on: January 15, 2018, 12:52:15 PM »

So the head of one of the minor, but vocal political parties in the UK has had to dump his girlfriend because she made racist tweets about the woman that prince Harry is going to marry.

Hmm, since that engagement was announced I was somewhat taken aback by some of the comments made about it. Two people in love and happy getting married. Other than if the tax payer has to foot the bill for it, or add them to the civil list I don't really care and wish them all the happiness they could have. It was pretty shocking to see people calling him a race traitor and so on. To be honest from her photo's I'd never have guessed she was black, not that it would have made any difference. I doubt it will put a black king on the throne either since his brothers entire family would have to be wiped out before he'd be in line for the throne. I mean are black people giving her abuse for marrying a white ginger bloke? I swear I will never understand people.

But then a random guy on a bus once told me I was traitor to my country for the way I voted. He'd been unemployed his entire life, while the only time I've not had a job since I was 14 was when I was at college. Whose doing more for their country I wonder? I put that one away in the same place I put the comments I used to get about my job, although I do have to say there seems to be much less of that nowadays than we used to get. The last time I saw a peace protest outside the camp, there were something like three people.

Some tips for anyone if you ever decide to go to one of these peace protest camps and join in.
1) If you are protesting outside a military camp you are pretty much wasting your time. The guys inside don't make policy they just carry it out. If your aim is to be a vague irritation, or be the source of some funny stories (believe me I have a lot of stories in this vein), then by all means picket a camp. Try camping outside your local politicians home or something. They can actually change policy. Sure you might make a few people late for work, but trust me you are very unlikely to make any changes this way.

2) Actually research what assets the place you are protesting at has. For many years there was an anti nuclear weapons camp outside my base. At no point in its history had it ever hosted such weapons, however the other RAF base 18 miles down the road had loads of them (see above for giving soldiers funny stories to tell).

3) If you do sneak onto a camp and get caught, be very careful and do exactly what the guards tell you to do. There are circumstances where we are allowed to shoot you, and there is always the chance of someone panicking and forgetting exactly what those rules are. They might go to prison for it, but you have a good chance of being dead.

4) If you turn up at the front gate on a motorbike and demand enterance on the basis that you are a UN weapons inspector and you have the right to get access to the camp and I can't stop you, you better have some pretty impressive ID with you to back yourself up with. Especially when you insist you are here to inspect our F-18's and their nuclear payloads. Since as mentioned above we don't have nuclear weapons on aircraft at our camp, and indeed the RAF doesn't fly F-18's at all and never has and in all likelyhood never will, however I reference you again to the funny story section mentioned above. Also don't be surprised if you get a rifle butt in the face and/or reported to the police, depending on just how insistant you are being about getting into base.

5) Take warm and waterproof clothes with you.
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
ER
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The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters. (sic)


« Reply #17777 on: January 16, 2018, 08:30:07 PM »

Won't my husband's boorish dinner guest ever leave?
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Alex
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« Reply #17778 on: January 17, 2018, 02:40:11 AM »

It's been snowing here for a few days now. I don't think I've seen it as heavy here before. Wouldn't normally expect to see it until later in the month, although I am not complaining. It's nice to see winter being winter to some degree.

I've been considering the nature of horror movies recently. I came to the conclussion that if has a happy ending the chances are it's not really horror. If the heroes do everything right and still come up short then to me anyway that makes it so much worse. Anything else is just a action movie with screaming. :P Even when good wins out the survivors would most likely be traumatised for life.

Some woman on TV is complaining that she got stranded in the snow and her and her family only had a bottle of Sprite to drink between them overnight. To me she should have had some sort of emergancy kit in her car to cover things like this. Silly buggers.
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
ER
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The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters. (sic)


« Reply #17779 on: January 17, 2018, 10:53:39 AM »

Ah, the great food chain.

This morning my boss called me and said since I was off Monday he had something for me to do today. Something I could even do from home.

I was like what?  He said call about fifty domestic clients and tell them about an auction out of Frankfurt we're handling.

I said if the clients felt chatty it'd take me all day. My boss said then you may want to get started.

I thought a second then started calling the interns. Hey, I got a job for you. You can even do it at home...
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What does not kill me makes me stranger.
ER
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The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters. (sic)


« Reply #17780 on: January 17, 2018, 09:53:17 PM »

While I'm socially libertarian, I did have a Catholic upbringing, which means I do whatever I want and then feel real guilty about it later.
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What does not kill me makes me stranger.
ER
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The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters. (sic)


« Reply #17781 on: January 18, 2018, 09:19:24 AM »

(Hey, this is my 4,000th post!)

Got up this morning and something outside caught my eye, a brown blur, so I stopped and looked and against the blue snow of the shadowy morning I saw this lone coyote trying very gamely to leap into the air and hit our lowest bird feeder, about seventy feet from the house, so seeds spilled down to be eaten. It was the most remarkable thing to see....
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What does not kill me makes me stranger.
Alex
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« Reply #17782 on: January 18, 2018, 01:37:44 PM »

So today was an odd one to get through. Not tough... just odd.

I'd sat up all night long wishing I could call someone, talk to them and just listen to anything they had to say.

I was getting ready for work, but just had to send one more message. I guess I was a bit distracted on the way to work and walked slightly slower to work only to get in 30 seconds late and walk straight into the warrent officer...

After he'd finished bollocking me and left Inhumanly Tall Dave said that it was nice to know that all the extra hours I'd worked late were appreciated.

I couldn't get my mind on what I was supposed to be thinking about, going over it again and again in my head. I need to go over it again to make sure I have everything straight in my head (and there is a good reason that I am not mentioning what I am not mentioning, but it's nothing for anyone to worry over).

Around two I started to write things in my diary to sort things out. Normally my diary will have a line on any particular subject. Normally any appointments I have that day, maybe a random observation. I keep it as short as possible. Today I wrote a full page and only stopped because I ran out of room, although I did briefly consider continuing on to Friday's page.

Got home and Kristi was lying in the bath. She'd strained her back lifting something, which earned her look number 1. Disapproving stare, since she hadn't just waited for me to get home and lift stuff for her. I was getting out my uniform and going to change the cat's tray and Kristi was complaining she wanted to talk to me and see me. Being an ever helpful husband, I took a photo of me on her phone and handed it to her, and told her she could call me and look at the picture, while I sorted out Dagon.

Man logic is a wonderful thing for problem solving like that.

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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
El Misfit
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Hi there!


« Reply #17783 on: January 18, 2018, 10:38:06 PM »

I either have a cold or the flu. Really hoping it's a cold, that way it should be gone by Jan 27th, where I debut my alter personality.
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yeah no.
Alex
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« Reply #17784 on: January 19, 2018, 02:06:40 PM »

Got woken up this morning by the cat when he decided to lick my lips.

This was not the kind of omen that would point towards the rest of the day being a good one. Oh the other hand it is a Friday which means the working week is over for a few days of relaxing (which is never quite long enough to be truly satisfying). Inhumanly Tall Dave was being tortured by Katy who was talking about how they use large pair's of pliers to crush a bulls nads rather than an operation to give them the snip, and talking about needles which Dave fears. I'd imagine he also fears large pairs of pliers crushing his nuts. Anyway, after work me and Kristi went to the gym together. She did some gentle walking on a treadmill and I hit a cross trainer for a warm up and then ran until the soles of my feet started to cramp up, which more or less brings us up to date.

I was thinking of significant female partners and romantic prospects throughout my life while I running. Some of whom I hadn't thought about for many years. Others... well a couple of them for various reasons tend to pop into my head on an almost daily basis.

Mary - My first girlfriend. Very sweet girl. Alas her family moved away and we couldn't keep in touch. This was all in the pre-internet days. She used to make models of us together in bed together out of plasticine, but then we were 6 years old at the time and I am pretty sure neither of us had any idea what adults did in bed together, other than sleep. We did however do the whole behind the bike sheds thing at which point I learned that girls weren't just soft boys and didn't have a willy.

Random bar girl - I have no idea what her name was, but when you are 17 and a very attractive woman in a bar wants to take you home, then you damn well go with her. Of course you don't expect to find a sheep in the bedroom which suddenly makes sense of the comments she made earlier on in the night. At that point you run out her house into a strange city and wander around lost until you randomly find the hotel you were staying in.

Irish Groupie - Not as long as a one night stand, I was working as a roadie doing a tour in Northern Ireland. One woman offered me oral sex in return for letting her back stage. Unfortunately she had a filling come loose that somehow got caught in the skin just behind the tip that would normally be covered by the foreskin and managed to tear the skin. Ever had to go to a hospital bleeding heavily after that kind of accident? I had a hole large enough to require 2 stitches, although I refused to let anyone with a needle anywhere near that. Being a roadie I was well used to doing improvised repairs and made do with a bit of gaffer tape. The joys of being 18.

Lindsey - Psychotic b***h I met one night at a concert while drunk (a state I was to spend many of my teenage and early 20 years in, until I decided that I'd had the 10 years of having fun I'd promised myself and now it was time to get a career). Liked to cut me and lick the blood while I was sleeping. Turned out to be four years younger than she told me, which was highly significant. Put a knife through the side of my shoulder some weeks after I dumped her, not to mention the defensive cuts along my left forearm from where I was trying to stop her slashing me and some chest wounds where she got through my defence. This was 25 years ago and I still don't have the full range of movement in that arm. It also taught me that getting a nipple sliced in two was much more painful than being kicked in the nuts. It feels like a very intensive burning pain that will not let up. I also learned that if you have a hole in your arm and a couple of weeks later someone claps you on the shoulder, you will be overcome with waves of nausea and throw up over them. I was 19 when I met her.

Stella - A cute looking girl who had a second name so rare that if I put it here you'd be able to find her on facebook as the first result. She liked being the centre of attention. Shame for her that her best friend (Ali, see below) was a lot more attractive and the instant she walked in the room everyone would be looking at her instead. Although what we had is what I would think back of as a minor and long distance relationship, it was significant because for six months she was cheating on me. My best friend (CJ) knew about it and I had guessed for myself something was going on. When I asked him outright several times if something was going on and he told me everything was fine. When the truth finally came out I wasn't too bothered about her, but that CJ had lied to me devistated me. I directed my anger towards Stella though rather than him (deliberately). She remains to this day the only person I ever went to the effort of putting a curse on. It was very specifically worded, and either there was a big coincidence or it worked. I leave it up to you to decide which it was. Whenever I was down visiting CJ after that she did her best to show up anywhere she knew I was in the hopes of causing a scene and thus being the centre of attention. In this she was disappointed as I just ignored her. I suspect that was the thing I could do that would dent her ego the most that I didn't take any notice of her (although I didn't go out of my way to ignore her, I just treated her as part of the background scenary). However I was never quite able to trust CJ again and we fell out of contact. Some years later we did get back in touch for a couple of years but we drifted apart again. I did see Stella fairly recently and the thing that jumped straight into my head was "Oh wow, you got old." Again I was 19 when I met her (indeed this started a few weeks after Lindsey).

Ali - Physically, emotionally and mentally the most attractive woman I have ever met, highly intelligent and a wonderful personality. Her nickname was something like Queen Tuk Gronti Karaz, which was super nerdy and translated from some Fantasy language as "Queen with the two big mountains", which should tell you something of her physique). She knew how attractive she was, but didn't use it to manipulate people and was never less than a delightful person to be around. Although I had a chance to have sex with her I didn't act on it. Occasionally I wondered about that, but I think I made the right decision. In her late teens started suffering from M.E, which has blighted her life since and ruined her chances of completing university. She had been really upset at a party we were all at, and I went outside with her to talk to her and try cheer her up. I couldn't get out of her why she was so upset, so to distract her I kissed her. We snogged for a bit and then went to back to the party. About half way there she grabbed me and kissed me deeply back just at the door to the block of flats. I knew at that point if I asked her to go into the woods with me right there and then she would have been mine (I'd gotten a lot of sex from upset girls at parties by cheering them up), but how I felt about her was more... not quite as a sister but I was highly protective of her and I didn't want to get into a relationship and end up hurting her. Especially since she had a boyfriend at the time. I'd also wanted her to get together with CJ and was laying groundwork for that to happen (and it did a couple of months later). Instead I picked her up in my arms and ran up the stairs to the party where I ended up getting together with Stella instead (the party was in her third floor flat). Again 19.

Amanda - A female biker who was just stunning and had just the right amount of tattoos. Met her at a biker bar in Ayr I used to hang out in. I sort of but not quite ended this relationship after her brother and a friend who disapproved of me laid into me with baseball bats outside the same bar. It didn't end, but not quite end because of the beating, but because she ran over with a crowbar and beat the hell out of the pair of them thus saving me. I could take riding on the back of her Harley and being joking referred to as her biker b***h, but having a woman winning my battles for me turned out to be too much for my male ego. Plus my ribs really hurt afterwards and it was tough breathing. It took quite a while to recover from those injuries and I had to consider that a woman who could swing a length of metal in such a way to incapacite a man instantly was not a woman you'd ever want to risk getting mad at you. I didn't so much as dump her as hide from her for the next 21 (and counting) years. Some nights I wake in a cold sweat wondering if she is hunting me down and one day I'll turn around and she'll be standing there with her crowbar... Aged 22.

Soozee - Flighty and vapid who wanted as much sex as possible but had severe issues there. She would only do the missionary position and give oral sex, as she believed anything else was 'dirty' (including giving her oral sex). Although I have met many men who would have viewed that as the perfect girlfriend. Got stabbed in the side of my hip defending her from racists (she was of Chinese descent although born in Scotland). While I was still dealing with the fallout from that she went off with some Arab guy she met at college. I did however learn from her that girls who had super strict parents would go wild when given the first taste of freedom away from them. She is the last girl in my life though that I've named a scar after (so far). 26 this time and since she was 18 this was the largest age difference between me and a partner.

Tanya - An amazing and in many ways unique one night stand whose story I've detailed elsewhere in this forum. 29 now and had just done three years of celibacy having gotten tired of women which ended that night.

Tetti - A Swedish (or possibly Norwegian) nurse. She was fun, but wanted me to do something outside my limits which was allso very unhygenic (what she wanted me to do, not Tetti herself). Aged 30, although when people asked me my age for some reason I'd have to think about it not to answer 27.

Bev - Ah, my ultimate super b***h control freak. I think almost every man gets at least one of these. After 8 years of one night stands and casual sex I ended up accidently falling into a relationship (well, we got drunk one night round at her place while helping her move up to my house as I had a three bedroom that was leaving me with no money and was looking to share the bills, we had a drunken booty call which I felt super guilty about the next day and we tried to make a relationship out of it). She moved into my house and spent the next 3 months getting drunk every night (she was drinking one of those boxes of wine most nights with the money she was getting from the government for her kids) and playing World Of Warcraft until she fell asleep at her keyboard. She refused to go out and get a job (we had agreed beforehand that I'd pay the bills etc until she got settled in and got a job which to my mind had been her saying she was going to look for one), meaning either I paid for her kids food or they starved. She dumped me when I refused to stop wearing black tee shirts and jeans as she thought blue jeans would set off my eyes and I'd look better in a white tee shirt (I had been thinking about dumping her, and was very upset when she beat me too it). After dumping me she still thought she could live in my house and have me pay for everything while she earned no money and did no housework. I was also told that I wasn't allowed to have any friends around at my house (which she referred to as her house). She got a nasty shock when I cancelled my internet subscription and moved out the next day (I couldn't bring myself to kick her out, due to her kids and pet dog all of whom I doted on and I didn't want them living on the street). I should however have gotten her out my house much faster than I did. It took several more years to get her completely out of my life. Apparantly saying to her "The quicker we can get out of each others lives the better." wasn't a big enough clue. I also tried more direct and blunter statements as she increasingly tried to get back in my life which didn't work. I have her blocked on every kind of social media, sometimes on multiple accounts of hers and I am convinced if I was to remove them she'd contact me as soon as she noticed. The day I decided that I wasn't going to let her use her kids to control me any more still rates as the toughest ever decision I have made. Luckily for her at this point she did clean up her act and start acting like a mother, as I was having serious thoughts about informing child services. I was 32 now.

Lady X - Since she was a married woman who I had an affair with I'll keep her name secret. We spent two seperate weeks together. She wanted to leave her husband, take up with me and get me going to swinger parties, threesomes, wife swapping, sex clubs and so on. While I guess I have to admit it sounded tempting I doubt that lifestyle is really what I wanted, and although the two weeks we spent together were fun, I knew that the only thing we'd have together was sex. She wasn't who I was looking for. As this was coming to an end Kristi was coming into my life. We still speak now and then, although much less since she tried to start things up between us again (unsuccessfully). I do think its a shame that she feels the time she spent with me was the best time in her life. I had hoped to show her that if she tried she could get better out of her life than she had. Currently trapped in a sexless marriage where they only stay together because they are afraid of being alone. Must have been 36 when I met her.

Kristi - Ah the love of my life. I completely fail to understand how this woman puts up with me, but she does and I am very grateful that she does. She is also the first person I've ever lived with that I haven't had thought about strangling after about 6 days. After nearly five years together we still seem to be in the honeymoon period. All I have to do each day is think of her smile and it cheers me up. Hasn't stabbed me, or been the cause of me being stabbed. I consider that a major plus in a relationship. 36 when we met (she attacked my castle, which is a whole different story).

Lady Y - A woman I met just after I'd gotten involved with Kristi. We used to talk constantly and at some point we realised we had an incredible attraction between us. We decided to not meet up in real life as both of us knew where that would go, but we still still chat quite often on social media and have remained just good friends.

It's strange that these ones have stuck in my head (well except the knifey ones), when so many others have faded in the mists of time. I wonder how many remember me. I mean I can guarantee that Lindsay does. When someone attack's you with a knife then you fight back with whatever you can, and if you have to bite a chunk out of them, then you'll do that and I am sure it would have left a scar and anyone who tells you the human jaw can't bite through skin be damned. I can tell you from experience it's possible.

And if anyone is thinking but did you spit or swallow, that is so wrong and you should be ashamed of yourself.

It's Burns Night tomorrow, when the country celebrates our national bard and eat Haggis, Neeps (turnip) and Tatties (potatos) in his memory. Kristi's church is holding a Burns Night Supper. I helped chop up the turnips, which is a food I detest. I do like the Haggis though, and every man who considers himself a hunter shouldn't be allowed to claim that title until he has stared down one of those things charging him down and thrust the boar spear just right so the beast impails itself on the tip and doesn't turn around and gore the hell out of you.

Hmm, the Circus Of Horrors is appearing in Elgin. I just might have to attend that one.
« Last Edit: January 20, 2018, 10:31:16 AM by Dark Alex » Logged

But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
indianasmith
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« Reply #17785 on: January 19, 2018, 06:10:31 PM »

I could put a list up of all the women I have ever slept with - but there would only be one name on it!
And we are still together.
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ER
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The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters. (sic)


« Reply #17786 on: January 19, 2018, 07:20:49 PM »

Way to make me feel inferior, I haven't had full-on sex with even one woman. I'm not even sure how it's done. At what point do you even cross the goal line?
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AoTFan
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« Reply #17787 on: January 19, 2018, 07:57:07 PM »

Won't my husband's boorish dinner guest ever leave?

Is he a friend of your husbands, a relative or work associate?  Either way, you could both feign death until they sense awkwardness and leave... :)
« Last Edit: January 20, 2018, 06:27:36 AM by AoTFan » Logged
Alex
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« Reply #17788 on: January 20, 2018, 06:15:08 AM »

Way to make me feel inferior, I haven't had full-on sex with even one woman. I'm not even sure how it's done. At what point do you even cross the goal line?

Well if it helps any I've never had sex with a man, although I have kissed one (Garry). Mostly because neither my wife or his believed that there was any chance we would. That we did kiss in front of them wasn't what upset them the most, not even that we used tongues. Apparantly what was most upsetting for them was that we gently ran our fingers down the side of each others faces first.

When my friend Garry used to be in the airforce he was an armourer. One thing  I have learned is that you never dare an armourer to do anything unless you really, really, really want them to do it. Initation rites for an armourer include drinking a pint of another armourers pee. Which is why I am an avionics engineer.

In answer to your goal line question ER I enquired of my lesbian cousin and she told me that fingers are the equivilent of penises for them, although they have all manner of (and I found it highly ironic that she used this term) man-made objects which can also be used.
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AoTFan
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« Reply #17789 on: January 20, 2018, 06:33:15 AM »


Personally, I think religious tract "money" is a really cruel damn joke, especially if you're poor and desperate.

For the uninitiated, basically it's a piece of paper that looks like money (usually a folded $50 bill, but I'm sure there's other varieties) but you open it up and it's give you this whole spiel about what money can and can't buy ("A house but not a home! A bed but not sleep! A crucifix but not a Savior!" etc )  Once I was dirt poor and at the local unemployment center, feeling VERY depressed because, I was in southern Illinois and they have s**t for jobs when I went into the bathroom.  I went into the stall and thought I saw money lying on the ground.

Honestly, I hope however put it there got hit by a car on the way out.
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