It's funny...
Andrew mentions in the rules of this forum that we often share pieces of their lives with one another.
That's so true...
Here's a piece of mine.
For years I was a total party animal. I had tons of friends, always had a girlfriend and was constantly out and about doing this or that.
Going to bars, clubs and parties with friends was what I did every single weekend.
Getting drunk, hitting on women...sometimes getting lucky. That was the norm.
That all changed in 2001 when my fiancee and I decided to call it quits.
Then, less than two years later, my only younger brother died in a motorcycle accident.
(Here's his Myspace memorial page:
http://www.myspace.com/corychapman1 )
That one-two punch of losing my fiancee and my brother dealt me some serious damage and caused me to spiral into a horrible depression.
After his death, I stopped going out. I stopped dating.
I stopped doing everything but drinking, surfing the net and watching movies & TV.
Like RC, I know what it's like to have alcoholism take hold of you.
Granted, I don't drink the hard stuff like RC did, but I used to drink a 12 pack of beer every other day for at least a year after the loss of my brother.
I would tell myself to stop...but I just couldn't.
My mother would always warn me about how my paternal grandfather died from cirrhosis (sp?) of the liver because of his struggle with alcoholism. He died when I was a baby so I never knew him. Mom would tell me that she didn't want him to hold me because he was drunk 99% of the time.
Needless to say, alcoholism runs in my family and I inherited it.
In the past, I barely remember writing half of my posts here on this forum because I was so s**tfaced.
Thankfully, my drinking has declined over time.
Now I only drink on the weekends...staying up all night alone getting hammered in my apartment.
All of my friends are married with children and they're busy doing the family thing so I don't see them as often as I want to.
When I do hang out with them, I get that feeling that we're totally different now and can't relate to each other like we once did.
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And I've purposely estranged myself from my father.
Haven't spoken to him since November of 2006.
My dad was one of those fathers who was there for me...but yet he wasn't.
My stepmom Cindy, whom he married in 1983, has never liked me.
Oh, she tolerated me...but only because she had no choice.
She did everything in her power to make sure I was
never a part of the family.
And did my dad stick up for me?
No he didn't.
He didn't do anything. He just let it happen.
Years of that built up serious resentment in me and when she insulted me over the phone in Nov. '06, I told her to f**k off and haven't spoken to either of them since.
I've estranged myself from my father to teach him a lesson. To show him what life is like without his only son.
Yes, one of these days I will inevitably re-insert myself back into his life. But only on my terms and when I feel like it. Sure, I agree that it's a selfish thing to do, but I don't care.
The scary thing to me is, I don't really miss him.
I should, but I don't.
Other than looking very much like him and having almost the exact same mannerisms, we have absolutely nothing in common.
He lives just outside of town and even has his auto repair shop not far from where I live...so I could go see him at any time.
But I choose not to. Not yet at least.
One of these days I'll just show up at his business.
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I have only 3-4 good friends left out of almost 30+.
And since we all work different shifts and they've got the family thing going on, I rarely get to hang out with them.
I do talk regularly with some people from this board.
And when I say that we talk, I mean we do it using microphones and actually speak to one another.
RCMerchant and I have talked over the phone several times. The last time we got to talking, we shot the breeze for over an hour.
RC's an awesome guy! I tell you this, you'll never talk to a more down to earth person than him.
Skaboi & I talk several times each week because we both play
together.
Mofo Rising is on my Xbox Live friends list and we've talked a few times over the headset.
They're all cool guys! I'd hang out with any of them anytime.
As for girlfriends, I've dated off & on but like someone else mentioned here, when you get to be over 30 years of age, most of the women you meet have kids or are divorced etc...
And I don't want to date single mothers.
I've been there and done that. Can't say I liked it much.
Finding a women close to my age who has never been married, has no kids and is still attractive is like finding gold in them thar hills.
And I'm not one of those guys who will just "settle" for any woman.
I know what I want and I won't stop until I find her.
And if I don't find her...then so be it.
So yeah, my social life isn't the greatest right now.
My depression is gradually subsiding.
But I do have lofty goals and believe that I will get to where I want to go...eventually.
